I switched offices at work this week. I moved from an office that had a lot of traffic and noise (directly between two restrooms and 10 yards away from the kitchen) to an office tucked away where few travel. The peace and quiet was my reward for being such an outstanding employee.

However, there is something odd about my new office. There’s something unworldly afoot. I am directly under an air vent and a noise I can only describe as choo-choo train-ish rains down on me 24/7. The rational person that I am, I have come to the only logical conclusion available:

My office is being haunted by The Little Engine That Could.

You all remember The Little Engine That Could, right? “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,” the little engine repeated to itself as it climbed a hill the larger engines could not. The optimistic, never-say-die train was capable of doing anything.

However, like many American heroes, the Little Engine felt the need to rebel (see Powers, Screech; Simpson, O.J.). He was tired of being looked up to, tired of all the accolades awarded him. He wanted to break free from the image he had been tied to for so long. Rather than make a sex tape or murder someone, the Little Engine decided to rebel in a much more subtle way. He decided to haunt my office.

Crazy you say? Fine. But I don’t want to hear any whining when he begins haunting one of you.