I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
Denis was my dorm mate my freshman year in college. If you have ever met someone boring, stupid, and/or borderline psychotic, the person was very likely related to Denis in some way. Here’s one of our stories:
The first few weeks of my freshman semester in college, I would go see a movie whenever I was bored. We did not have a television and my dormmate’s idea of lively conversation was him saying “yes” when I asked him, “so you’re eating tuna again…that’s 32 days in a row isn’t it?”
As you can imagine, I went to the movies quite often.
One day after my classes, I came back to the dorm to get ready for baseball practice. Denis was sitting on the edge of his bed staring at the wall with a goofy grin on his face. In other words, he was doing what he did every afternoon.
As I was about to leave for practice, Denis looks up at me and asks, “are you going to another movie?”
My hand was reaching for the door knob as he said this, but it paused in mid air. Denis knew I played baseball and, at the time, I was wearing full baseball attire. I had baseball pants on. I was wearing a 3/4 length t-shirt. I had a baseball hat. I was wearing cleats. I was holding a baseball bag with a bat sticking out of it. Short of holding a sign around my neck that said “I am on my way to baseball practice”, I’m not sure it could have been more obvious where I was going.
“Yes,” I replied. “Yes I am.”
That night, I slept with my baseball bat next to me. Just in case.
;-) 1.9.07 at 4:56 pm:
I had almost forgotten about Dennis. Thanks for that fun recollection.
;-) 1.9.07 at 6:57 pm:
Remember that day we forced you to drink cranberry juice?
That, was a great day.
;-) 1.9.07 at 9:56 pm:
<p>Denis is not, of course, his real name. (Pssst to Kevin: Never deliberately write about someone you have referred to as “borderline pyschotic” and use his real name. I, as a good Mom, have taught you this. Therefore, Denis is not his real name). Nor is “Kev” yours. Naturally!</p>
;-) 1.11.07 at 8:24 pm:
Yeah, that reminds me of my roommate at GA College. His name was…uh Lūk (which is not his real name). Oh boy he was strange. He used to snore terribly and talked in his sleep. From the sound of it, he must have had some wild dreams.
Once after he had gotten back from some concert, we were both asleep and I woke up to him talking very loud and I concluded that he was dreaming that he was still at the concert (hence his loud voice). Suddenly he jumped off of his bunk, came over to mine and shouted some garbled setences at me. He then blinked a few times, dropped his head in embarassment and walked back to his bunk. Yeah, he was sleepwalking and awoke during the episode. Neither of us ever mentioned the incident.
So Kev, I see you have on your boots, spurs and cowboy hat…ya goin’ to the prom?
;-) 5.9.07 at 4:10 pm:
[...] should be noted that Denis was not an intelligent individual. This is the person who once asked me if I was going to a movie even though I was dressed in full baseball attire. He is the same person who told me he wished Ross [...]