I have heard people sometimes describe another person’s laugh as “infectious.” I’ve never given the expression much thought until this week when I overheard one co-worker, referring to another co-worker, say “(she) has an infectious laugh.” I assumed this meant the woman had the kind of sweet laugh that made others want to laugh, too. But then I heard the woman laugh.

Like “nails on a chalkboard” was the first thought that came to my mind. “Please, Lord, take me now” was my second thought. Imagine an annoying sound. Now multiply the annoyingness of the sound one trillion gabillion times. Now drop a 10 lb. weight on your foot. Now drink a glass of orange juice immediately after brushing your teeth. Now repeat. That is the pain I feel from hearing this woman’s laugh.

Her laugh immediately brought back memories of the teacher I had when I was younger who warned of hearing loss. “If you play your music too loud, you’ll be deaf someday.” Why oh why did I have to heed his warning? If I had not taken his advice to heart, I would not have to hear this woman’s laugh booming down the hall of my office day after day.

You know, I think the “infectious laugh” description was pretty accurate (though misleading). An infection is described as “the detrimental colonization of a host organism by a foreign species.” That sounds about right. Although, to avoid confusion, I think the phrase “infectious laugh” should be replaced with “a laugh that makes me pray for the sweet release of death.”

Thank the good Lord for Advil.