While I was going to graduate school, I taught high school computer for three years. During that time, I accumulated numerous amusing and/or mind-numbing stories. Here’s one of them.

Towards the end of one school year, I assigned an optional research paper for extra credit. Students did not have to do it, but if they chose to it could really help them. However, I did have a few ground rules:

1) The paper had to deal with technology.
2) I had to approve the paper’s topic.
3) The paper had to be turned in before the beginning of semester finals. Late papers would not be accepted.

Sounds pretty straightforward, right? Well, semester finals began and I received only a handful of papers. As was usually the case, students who did not really need the extra credit were the ones to do it. Funny how that is. Anyway, on the last day of finals (also the last day of the school year), I entered my classroom to find a paper had been slid under my door. It was an extra credit paper. It was also five days late.

A regular assignment turned in late, in most cases, would be accepted and points would be taken off the top. Since this was extra credit and I had announced on numerous occasions it could not be turned in late, I knew right away I wasn’t going to be rewarding any points for this paper. Still, out of respect for the supposed time put into writing it, I sat down to give it a read. I knew right away by the paper’s title it was going to be special:

“The History of Ronald McDonald and Hamburgers”

That’s right. In my hands was a four-page paper on McDonald’s hamburgers. It did not mention anything even remotely related to technology. It talked about Ronald McDonald…and hamburgers…and more Ronald McDonald.

When I saw the student who submitted what I could only assume was a love letter meant for Ronald McDonald (but was somehow given to me by mistake), I let him/her know it wasn’t going to earn any credit since it was turned in late. I gave no other reason; although, I was tempted to shout, “why did you write a paper on hamburgers for a computer class?!”

Later that day, after finals were over, students went home for the summer and teachers began preparing for post-planning; I received a phone call from the student’s father. He wanted to know why I had not accepted the research paper.

I tell him about the student’s knowing for several weeks about the submission deadline, but he asks for me to make an exception because his child really needs the extra points. I tell him about the student’s having to have their topic approved by me and that his child’s topic had not been approved. He asks that I overlook the fact his child never bothered to ask for approval and grade the paper as is. I tell him that even if I wanted to do those things I couldn’t because his child’s paper had absolutely nothing to do with computers or technology.

“What do you mean,” he asks. “What was (my daughter’s) paper about?”

“The paper was about hamburgers,” I tell him. “It was about Ronald McDonald and hamburgers.”

Long pause.

“Why did you write a paper on hamburgers for a computer class,” I hear the father ask his child.

An excellent question.