I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.

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50-Word Movie Review: Ultraviolet
June 9, 2007
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Ultraviolet is a futuristic, sci-fi, vampire (or at least I think they’re vampires) movie starring Milla Jovavich. It is, in a word, craptacular. The special effects are awful, the plot is incoherent, and it made me ask out loud on numerous occasions, “why does Milla’s agent hate her so much?”

Conclusion: Possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen that did not star Pauly Shore. Easily the worst movie I have seen in five years. I’m amazed Keanu Reeves didn’t star in it.