Cruise Buys Home Next to Oprah, Oprah Beefs up Security

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have purchased a home in Montecito, CA that is just down the road from Oprah Winfrey’s $50 million estate. Cruise, who infamously made headlines in 2005 when he psychotically jumped up and down on Oprah’s sofa while appearing on her TV show, is excited about the move.

“We can’t wait to move in,” a jubilant Cruise told reporters. “Katie is already planning on baking a pie so that we can take it over to Oprah’s house for a ‘welcome to the neighborhood’ kind of thing.”

When told it was customary for existing members of a neighborhood to welcome new members, Cruise began to laugh uncontrollably. He then punched a nearby kitten.

In unrelated news, Oprah has put her home up for sale.

While it originally debuted on my blog, this article was later published by Associated Content on August 14, 2007. You can go read it here.

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