I was made aware of the Oscar the Cat story by my brother, Tim. He emailed me a link to the article. Later, after I wrote my blog post stating my belief Oscar the Cat was a serial killer, I sent Tim an email with a link so he could go read it. And so began the greatest email exchange in the history of the world:

Tim: Not your best work… You could’ve done better.
Me: It’s comic gold and you know it.
Tim: It’s funny, but you could’ve made it better.
Me: Probably, but my brain isn’t working today. Our coffee machine keeps breaking. Also, I skipped lunch. Bad decision.
Tim: You just jumped into the accusation of a killer cat feet first… You needed to set it up a little better.
Me: I did set it up a little…with my “which is more likely” rhetorical question.
Tim: It was very weak.
Me: Weak like a fox.
Tim: Yes, weak like a sickly, decrepit fox with muscular dystrophy.
Me: Have you ever met a sickly, decrepit fox with muscular dystrophy? The thing can still bench 400 lbs.
Tim: Have you ever seen any fox? They weigh at the most 15 pounds. Plus, they don’t have opposable thumbs, so they can’t bench anything.
Me: That’s what makes their brute strength all the more impressive.
Tim: Again, they are physically incapable of benching anything.
Me: Which, again, makes their ability to bench press 400 lbs. all the more impressive.
Tim: Except they don’t have the ability to bench press 400 lbs.
Me: Which makes their ability to overcome and bench press it anyway all the more impressive.
Tim: But they can’t overcome.
Me: Which makes it all the more impressive that they somehow do.
Tim: Except they don’t.
Me: And yet they do.
Tim: That’s the thing… they don’t.
Me: Except when they do, which is always.

I’m sorry, did I say this was the “greatest” email exchange of all time? I meant the “lamest.” I always get those confused.