Today’s installment of Dear Reader goes out to the individual from Amstelveen, Noord-Holland in the Netherlands who browsed my site today for 3 hours, 13 minutes and 58 seconds. A big thanks to humor-blogs.com for referring this individual.

Dear Reader,

Wow. What can I say? Thank you for visiting my site and staying for such a long time. My records show that you viewed 85 different posts of mine. Again, wow.

It saddens me that you did not leave me any comments, though. For one thing, your leaving a comment would have given me a way to contact you and say thanks – either by e-mail or, if you supplied a web address, leaving a comment of my own at your site. Secondly, just like a zombie needs to eat brains, my blog needs comments in order to thrive. Juicy, delicious, stick-to-your ribs comments.

You know, something here just doesn’t seem right. There are only two reasons someone would browse a blog for over three hours, but not leave a single comment:

1. My sarcastic wit left them speechless to the point they were unable to think of a worthy comment.
2. They are not an individual at all. Rather, they are a cat who jumped on its owner’s keyboard, accidentally opened my site, and then proceeded to lay down on top of the keyboard for 3 hours, 13 minutes and 58 seconds.

If it is the former, do not be awestruck, my friend. I am like you, only more awesome. Please, in the future, leave me comments. Even a poor comment is better than no comment at all.

If it is the latter, GET OFF THE KEYBOARD, KITTY!

Thanks again,

kev

Update: The mystery reader has been found! Not only that, she has read this blog post of mine, left a comment (see below), and written a post on her site that praised SKOS as “by far the funniest blog on the Internet.” Click here to check out her post (and to confirm I didn’t just make this up). Thanks, CC (aka Kitty)!