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I Am a Fashion Trendsetter
November 15, 2007
Blog
13

“I think I can get another six or seven months (use) out of these two (pairs of blue jeans).” – me on 11/11/07

It turns out I was slightly off in my estimation of how long my jeans would last me. And by “slightly” I mean six or seven months.

My “good” pair, the pair with a “slowly growing hole” in the crotch area, had to be put down. When I got home, the hole that was only an inch or so big when I left for work had grown to five inches. Also, it had a new friend. A second hole, two inches wide, had set up residence right beside it.

“At least they found one another,” the hopeless romantic in me thought as I went to look for my stapler. Common sense then knocked on my door and informed me that stapling the holes in my jeans – especially in that area – probably wouldn’t be a good idea.

Also, I couldn’t find my stapler.

Now I had a real dilemma on my hands. It was the middle of the week and I would not be able to go shopping (Lord help me) for new jeans until the weekend. What would I wear to work? My other pair of jeans has an 8-inch tear in the right calf – not exactly acceptable work attire. My good pair of jeans has two holes in the crotch – the only places such attire would be acceptable are places I never, ever want to go.

What was I going to do?

With hesitance, I chose Option C – I would wear my third pair of jeans, the ones hidden in the back of my closet that I never wore. They were in pristine, perfect condition. Why did I never wear them?

My ex, Lauren, despised these jeans. She hated them with a passion. Hated, hated, hated them. Why? Because they were tight in the calf and ankle area. You know how most jeans are loose around the ankles (“boot cut” is the term used ’round these parts)? Well, these weren’t. And just as I dislike people who can’t park, people who wear Bluetooth headsets on their ears in public and Pauly Shore, Lauren disliked tight-around-the-ankle jeans. It was one of her things.

As most of you have (hopefully) surmised, I am a guy. Guys do not care or pay attention to the looseness of their jeans around their ankles. We only notice such things if someone points them out to us. After the hideousness of my jeans was pointed out to me and after several days of noticing that no other guys wore jeans like these, I put them away in my closet.

They have not been worn since.

Until today.

Yes, I am sitting behind my desk at work on my lunch break wearing tight-around-the-ankle jeans. I am a rebel. A rebel in tight jeans.

And I’m loving it.

I am bringing the tight-jeans look back into the mainstream, people.

And since I bought these jeans at the height of my “gym workout warrior” days, they are even tighter than they used to be. And that’s good because “tight” is “in.” Since when? Since I started setting the fashion trends.

Get on board, people. This fashion train is on its way to Awesome City.

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