Someone recently e-mailed me saying my site was too “nice” to be a humor blog. Sir, that sounds like a challenge. Now you’ve asked for it!

Color me confused, but if Extra Virgin Olive Oil is as advertised how is there seemingly a never ending supply of the stuff? Granted, I’m no expert on the reproductive habits of olives, but something just doesn’t add up. Methinks a few olives aren’t being entirely truthful.

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Why are sticky notes so popular? On my computer monitor at work, I have a dozen sticky notes with various notes or reminders written on them. But they are constantly falling down. Whenever I want to put one up, I have to get some tape and forcibly adhere the sticky note to my monitor. It must be the pretty colors that make sticky notes so popular. It certainly isn’t the performance. I think the inventors of sticky notes pulled a fast one on all of us.

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Perhaps I’m being unsympathetic, but I believe a stupid tax should be levied against anyone who bought a home with an adjustable rate mortgage that they could only afford when the rates were at their initial, low interest level. And since our government seems intent on coming to the aid these greedy fools rather than punish them for their stupidity, I guess it’s up to me.

I have, just now, created what I will call The Stupid Tax. Those who do something stupid will be taxed for it. First to be taxed will be the adjustable rate mortgage people. I can either tax you at 6% of your salary for the next 30 years, or at 1% for the first 5 years and 18% for the next 25. It’s your choice.

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In the war of Which is Better: Dogs or Cats?, dog lovers like to point out all the times dogs have come to their owner’s aid when in trouble. Dogs dragging their unconscious owners from a burning home is an often cited example. “A cat wouldn’t do that,” they say.

That is true. But on the flip side, dogs are stupid and cats are smart. My cat might leave me to die if my home is ever on fire, but at least he has the intelligence to remember me after I’m gone.

“My owner was awesome,” he will tell his cat friends years later. “He fought those flames until the bitter end.”

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I guess I showed that e-mailer. This post will surely start riots all over the country.