I used to dislike memes until I realized they enabled me to be sarcastic and give all of you, my rabid readers, the Kev trivia you so desperately crave. If that isn’t a win-win, I don’t know what is.
Today I have two memes. The first is from a long-time reader who has tagged me in the past. The second is from a relatively new reader who I probably offended and scared away because she tagged me for the meme 8 weeks ago and I’m just now doing it.
CC of The Life and Times of a Confused Twenty-Something recently tagged me for a meme where I write a list of five things on my “to do” list for the week that are not related to work. It won’t be easy, but let’s see if I can butcher this perfectly normal meme.
1. Shave my face. Even though I probably should shave every day since I work in an office, lately I find myself only shaving about once every six or seven days. Time, money and an inexplicable admiration for Kenny Rogers are the primary reasons for my weekly shaving habit.
2. Wash the dishes. At my former residence, I had a dishwasher and a roommate who never cooked (and therefore never dirtied any dishes). At my current residence, I have no dishwasher and a roommate who cooks approximately seventeen meals a day and washes the dishes approximately once per leap year.
The result? Something in my kitchen sink has come to life. I need to kill it before it kills me.
3. Finish writing my four guest posts. Possibly due to my having blackmailed this individual (kidding), a very popular website will be publishing four new posts of mine on their site for April Fool’s Day. Their site is not a humor site, so I’ll be reaching a whole new audience with this endeavor.
Why am I writing for a non-humor site? What on earth will I talk about? Well, when these posts will publish (April 1) should give you a clue as to the why. For the what, you’ll just have to wait and see!
4. Pay my auto insurance bill. I have been driving for over a decade. That, obviously, means I have been paying for auto insurance for over a decade. Do you know how many accidents I’ve had? Zero. Do you know how many times I’ve filed an insurance claim? Zero. Doing some quick math in my head, I’ve paid approximately 8 billion dollars for auto insurance in my lifetime and I’ve yet to have had needed it.
Have you ever felt the urge to ram your vehicle into another just so you can justify the money you’ve paid for insurance over the years? And not just any vehicle, but the vehicle of one of those people who leave their grocery carts in the middle of the parking lot even though the cart return area is ten yards away?
5. Catch up on my blogroll. There are probably two dozen blogs I regularly read and enjoy, but thanks to all the time I’ve spent the past few weeks redesigning this site I have gotten way behind on them. I will attempt to remedy the situation this weekend. That is, unless I get distracted, which is a distinct possibility.
In “I totally missed that” news, Lauren from Can You Be a Part of My Life tagged me for a meme way back on January 20. She even left me a comment so I would know about it. In my defense, the “ping” or “incoming link” you’re supposed to receive when someone has linked to your site didn’t get to me until two days ago. And as for missing the comment she left me, um, well… I went temporarily blind that day. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Anyway, I’m supposed to share six non-important things/habits/quirks about myself.
1. I alternate between growing my hair long and cutting it short. There really is no rhyme or reason I do this, but I’ve had this habit since I was 18. Two weeks ago, I cut my hair short again. Before, my hair was the same length as the crazy guy in the photo to the left, but it was a tad less tamed. By that I mean instead of laying flat, my hair likes to curl at the ends when it gets long. This gives my head what my mom likes to call, “wings.”
Most people can’t pull this look off. And no, neither can I.
2. As I’ve mentioned before, I am directionally challenged. However, I am also mean and short tempered when I drive. This may not seem like a big deal, but you must understand that I’m one of the most laid-back people in existence. But when I drive, I become a different person. I’m easily rattled. I’m easily annoyed by other people. I’m quick to snap at the poor soul who is in the vehicle with me.
Mind you, merely sitting behind the wheel of a car doesn’t transform me. In normal driving conditions, I remain easy-going Kev. But if I’m driving to someplace I’m unfamiliar, if I’m lost, if I’m tired… well, evil Kevin comes out to play. It’s not pretty.
3. I like to wear jackets. Until it becomes unbearable to continue doing so, I wear a jacket everywhere I go. I’m pretty sure my mom has a photo of me wearing a jacket to the beach one summer.
4. I despise tuna. I can’t eat it. I can’t stand the smell of it. Those who know me and those who are long-time readers know I can thank my college dorm mate Denis, who ate tuna every day for four months, for this intense hatred.
5. Going along with #1, I am always brushing hair out of my eyes. This is perfectly normal when my hair is long, but it’s a tad peculiar-looking when my hair is short and nowhere near my eyes. I’ve gotten so used to the routine, I do it a dozen times a day regardless of my hair’s length.
People who meet me for the first time undoubtedly believe I am crazy.
6. I am a creature of habit. In college, I would eat Ramen noodles every meal for two or three weeks. Then I would eat stir-fry every meal for two or three weeks. Then I would eat turkey sandwiches every meal for two or three weeks. Then I would eat spaghetti every meal for two or three weeks. And then I repeated the process.
A more recent example would be my nighttime television viewing habit. For six straight weeks, I have watched the same thing every night before going to bed: NewsRadio. I own seasons one through four of the incredibly awesome and underrated sitcom. And every night for six weeks I’ve watched a few episodes. I’ll start on season one, go all the way to the end of season four, and then start over.
And yes, I’m being completely serious.
For starters, I am tagging the two people who tagged me. CC, you get to do the “quirky” meme. Lauren, you get to do the “to do list” meme.
For both memes, I am tagging the following: Kathy because I told you I’d get my revenge… Erin and Allison because you’re both way, way, way overdue for blog updates… Diesel because I know how much you love memes… Angi because it’ll cheer you up… Frogster because “frogster” is such a funny word to type… frogster… Josh because I don’t think you ever did anything the last time I tagged you for a meme, and Steve because you had a birthday this week. Happy b-day, buddy!
Also on January 20, Lauren presented me with an “E for Excellent” blog award. Thank you, Lauren. This deserves a post of its own, so I’ll save it for another time.
Humor-blogs wishes I tagged it.