I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
Idiots everywhere were shocked to hear that Todd Davis, the pitchman and CEO for fraud-prevention company LifeLock who has been daring criminals to steal his identity for over two years, has had his identity stolen. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the guy is now being sued.
Don’t know who the heck Todd Davis is? Sure you do.
Davis is the guy who was so certain LifeLock could protect your identity he began freely distributing his own Social Security Number to the entire world just to prove it. He’s given it out in newspaper ads, billboads and radio commercials. A television commercial, which features Davis broadcasting his SSN via a bullhorn in the middle of a city, has taken on cult-like status.
Well, as you would expect, there have been numerous attempts by unscrupulous individuals to use Davis’ SSN for their own evil deeds. All but one attempt to open a line of credit — by a Texas man who used Davis’ information to acquire $500 from an online payday loan operation — has failed. But it’s this one individual and the twenty plus driver’s licenses fraudulently obtained using Davis’ information that have him in hot water with certain LifeLock customers.
These revelations have given a certain dirty segment of our society an opening. Since LifeLock didn’t work for Davis, it must mean it doesn’t work at all. And so, it’s lawsuit time.
Putting aside my belief that LifeLock, freecreditreport.com and the like are semi-scams because they charge people money for things people can do on their own for free, I hate lawsuits like this one. Why? Because this class-action lawsuit isn’t being filed on behalf of LifeLock clients who have had their identities compromised. No, the lawsuit is being filed on behalf of individuals who felt they were “misled” by LifeLock.
Call me crazy, but unless you have had your identity compromised while using LifeLock’s service, you have no real reason to sue them. Suing because someone else has had their identity compromised while using LifeLock makes about as much sense as me suing the Ford Motor Company because some other Mustang owner had defective brakes on their vehicle.
Society has gotten so litigious it hurts my brain.
Have a 27-year-old son who drowned after climbing into a killer whale’s tank at SeaWorld Orlando? Sue the theme park for portraying the whale as huggable and human loving.
Tired of people mistaking you for Michael Jordan? Sue the former basketball player for emotional pain and suffering.
Did your son’s youth league baseball team have a bad season? Sue the coach for being incompetent.
Find out you’ve been paying $10 a month for a less-than-perfect service you could’ve done yourself for free if you had taken two minutes to research it? Sue the company providing the service for misleading you.
Sometimes in life, you should just admit defeat. You say LifeLock convinced you to give them money for a service you could’ve done yourself for free? You say their service doesn’t 100% protect you? You say their “$1 Million Guarantee” has so many disclaimers in the fine print that it’s essentially worthless? Well, sucks to be you. They got you. They got you good. Deal with it. Cancel the service. Take responsibility. Be glad you weren’t one of the ones to have their identities compromised. Move on with your life. And here’s a refreshing idea — don’t sue.
I wish I could sue people who file frivolous lawsuits.
;-) 5.22.08 at 3:49 pm:
They should’ve called it “Life-Door-Shut-Really-Tight”.
;-) 5.22.08 at 4:56 pm:
How have I not heard of this guy…
The things people sue for these days are ludicrous. E.G. the infamous “I burned myself so I’m suing McDonalds for having HOT coffee”. I just can’t believe people’s dumb luck, getting a judge that doesn’t laugh in their face and kick them out of the courtroom…
;-) 5.22.08 at 7:16 pm:
Those citizens of the United States–they think they’re so clever and smart when really they’re just lazy and petulant.
;-) 5.22.08 at 11:22 pm:
>>>>….me suing the Ford Motor Company because some other Mustang owner had defective breaks on their vehicle
I completely agree with your premise of frivilous lawsuits but cars typically have brakes…as opposed to breaks.
;-) 5.22.08 at 11:35 pm:
@Sue: Indeed. I guess they thought that name wasn’t as catchy. I think it’s great, though.
@Angi: The guy who sued Michael Jordan is my favorite. That guy was crazy.
@Erin: Makes you wish you were a Canadian doesn’t it? Let’s move there. All of us.
@Daniel: Thanks for catching that. Typos are fairly uncommon for me, but when I make them they’re usually pretty bad.
;-) 5.23.08 at 11:03 am:
Yeah, I’m all for the right to sue, but sometimes, you wish there could be some kind of limit. Of course then you run into the problem of deciding exactly WHERE to draw the line, but…still.
;-) 5.23.08 at 12:37 pm:
Or Mexico. We could move there, too, I guess.
ryc: It’s okay; it really was just therapy for me. I can’t resist gushing every once in a while. Those are the posts I go back and read. But what do you mean you would like soccer better if you could use your hands? Soccer players use their hands all the time! Slapping, shoving…gesturing wildly. Also, goalkeepers. Really, it’s fine if you’re indifferent to soccer, though. I’ll say something here that evens the score: *lowers voice* I don’t like baseball very much. I get bored if I have to watch it. And I even played T-ball and softball when I was little. I know! I shouldn’t be a full citizen of the U.S. but there you have it.
;-) 5.23.08 at 2:29 pm:
You are a man after my own heart on this one, Kev.
*whips out soapbox*
As a court reporter I cover depositions and trials arising out of the filing of civil lawsuits. In my humble opinion, nine-tenths of them fall squarely under the umbrella of “frivolous.”
I am now typing a 300+ page transcript of the deposition of a man who is suing his luxury-home builder AND his architect because his $1.9 million, 10,000 square-foot lakefront house (with its six bedrooms and nine baths) does not sit “just so” on his lot … it’s “higher” than he thought it would be, and about six feet too far to the right, and there are three more steps up from the garage to the main house than he wanted, and the pool will now have to be smaller. Also his retaining walls are higher than he “envisioned.”
Last week I was mired in the deposition of a woman who sued a popular fast-food chain AND the city in which it is situated, all because when she tried to pay for her hamburgers with a counterfeit one-hundred-dollar bill, the restaurant called the police and she had to spend the night in jail.
This was actionable in her opinion because she was “so embarrassed,” and now she has trouble paying for her retail purchases because she was “traumatized” by the experience. (She says that the authorities should have taken her word for it that she used the fake money in ignorance, thinking it was real, and let her go with a warning not to be doing that again).
Oh … she also sued the bank that she THINKS the counterfeit money came from.
You mentioned Ford Motor Company. The lawsuits that stick in my craw the most are the ones (and I’ve covered several) where teenagers drink heavily until three or four in the morning, then drive off in the cars their parents have supplied for them. A few months ago I reported a case in which this behavior resulted in the death of a 19-year-old girl who rolled her SUV at 3:30 a.m. because she was hanging out the window vomiting after a night of heavy imbibing.
But who’s at fault? Why, Ford Motor Company, of course! Why can’t they build a vehicle that magically resists the best efforts of drunk teenagers to wreck them? Shame, that. Lawyer up, everybody!
This litigation is very expensive, by the way, and every case goes on for years. The lawyers get rich off it and our judicial system is clogged with the paperwork. The real criminals are the lawyers who file these suits knowing full well that their clients are being big babies and should just suck it up.
;-) 5.23.08 at 2:32 pm:
Yikes, that was long. Sorry.
;-) 5.26.08 at 6:09 pm:
I knew that was gonna happen… NOTHING is fool proof. However, I agree that todays litigious society has long passed ridiculous. If a fat person will sue McDonald’s because they are fat, then anything goes right?
;-) 5.28.08 at 1:10 pm:
Its a fairly simple answer really. There needs to be a board of elected officials that lawsuits have to be filed through. Eliminates 50-60% of the frivolous ones.
;-) 5.28.08 at 1:18 pm:
>>>board of elected officials
Interesting concept but I think you underestimate its effectiveness. By the time a board of elected politicans (ok you didn’t specify politicians but they probably would be) deliberated over the merit of lawsuits, the litigants would likely have given up or died so I would put the number of lawsuits to successfully exit the process would be 10% at most.
Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown could really whittle down the numbers I bet.