I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
For this week’s Friday Four, I am going to share the details of four blog “drafts” I started to write, but for one reason or another never finished or published to the site. In the comments section, you all can vote on which draft you would like to see finished. If you hate all these ideas, that’s okay. Just leave me a comment stating all these drafts stink. I won’t cry… much.
Title: Single, Awesome Male Seeks Single, Awesome Female
Concept: An online personal ad — Special Kind of Stupid style.
My thoughts: eHarmony, eat your heart out.Snippet of what I have so far:
I’m single and — let’s face it — not getting any younger. I’ve been making that old man sound when I get up from a chair for over a decade now. The words, ‘those darn teenage drivers’ have crossed my lips many, many times. And many days, I fantasize about leaving work early, going home and taking a nap.
Since this website receives several handfuls of visitors each day, I thought it might be a good idea to take advantage of its popularity and showcase myself to the single ladies of cyberspace.
Single ladies, this is for you. Married ladies, prepare to set me up with single friends, nieces or daughters. Men of the world, take notes.
Title: My Office is Bigger Than Your Office
Concept: In celebration of my moving into a big, beautiful office; I am taunting lowly minions at work who do not have a similar big, beautiful office.
My thoughts: It has a great title.Snippet of what I have so far:
I have written nothing so far. Absolutely nothing. Like all great works of art, I started with the title.
Title: Hanson
Concept: I will write about the band as though they just recently hit the music scene (even though they really hit the scene a decade ago).
My thoughts: I started this draft well over a year ago. It is probably obvious why I never finished it.Snippet of what I have so far:
As a tribute to my friend in high school who once asked if I had seen a “new” movie that had been released YEARS earlier, I am going to start a series of writings on topics that are well, well past their heyday. However, like my friend, I will talk about them as though they are brand new and fresh. Up first: The musical group, Hanson.
Title: Chat with a Live Virtual Agent
Concept: I have an IM conversation with a “live virtual agent.” Does that mean I’m talking to a machine, or an actual person?
My thoughts: I was obviously bored when I started this.Snippet of what I have so far:
Me: I am transferring a domain. How does that process work? Are you “live” or is this automated?
Grace Says: I am a live virtual agent
Grace Says: So do you want to take advantage of this great limited time offer?
Me: Yes, but I had a question or two. How does transferring my domain to you work?
Grace Says: Ok Great!! To sign up with 3 months Free Hosting CLICK HERE
Me: You really are automated, aren’t you?
Grace Says: I am a live virtual agent
Me: But what does that mean?
Grace Says: We offer 30 Day Money Back Guarentee, 99.9% Uptime, Free Setup, Free Domain For Life and Much Much More!
Me: You misspelled GUARANTEE.
And there you have it. Proof positive that even someone as totally awesome as yours truly can occasionally conjure up a less-than-awesome blog idea.
So, did ANY of them show promise? Let me know. The draft that sparks the most interest will be finished and published sometime in the coming weeks.
Humor-blogs is a live virtual agent.
;-) 6.6.08 at 11:58 am:
Personally, I’m all about the Hanson post. Although, I think you should somehow compare the “past” Hanson to the “present” Hanson. Because as far as I can tell, they all look like they’re 15 still. Their music sounds identical. And they still talk as if they’re 15….(You know, like, we just like to have fun with our music and, like, if we can reach the public with a positive message like, that’s cool too.)
;-) 6.6.08 at 12:22 pm:
Why am I thinking that one of the Hanson boys died? Am I opening myself up for ridicule here?
My Office is Bigger than Your Office is a great title–you’re right about that. I think you should finish it. Also, the personal ad might be a good idea after you missed your chance in KY.
On the other hand, I am curious to know what the Live Virtual Agent’s response was to your correction of her spelling.
;-) 6.6.08 at 12:48 pm:
@Angi: I was hesitant to include the Hanson draft on the list in the off-chance it would win. Maybe it’s because…I dunno…I’m a GUY, but the idea of familiarizing myself with the music of Hanson to finish this post doesn’t strike me as a good time.
(In other words, could you vote for something else? Pretty please?)
@Erin: Maybe it’s because you really WANT one (or all) of the Hanson boys to be dead? You wanted it so much, you convinced yourself that it was true. I can’t blame you. I’ve wanted the same thing.
So did you just vote for THREE of them?
;-) 6.6.08 at 12:50 pm:
Single, Awesome Male Seeks Single, Awesome Female
IMHO you need to finish this one. Only, you need to finish it by meeting my adorable daughter, Audrey. She is 25, single, beautiful, awesome, exceptional, funny, bright, smart, adventurous, single, and beautiful.
She is also a lovely Christian young lady.
Did I mention she is single? And beautiful?
Let me know and I’ll scoot you a pic of her darling face.
;-) 6.6.08 at 12:57 pm:
OK…second choice…sure, why not, I’ll go ahead and agree with Jenny. Inquiring minds want to know.
;-) 6.6.08 at 3:19 pm:
@Jenny: Hmmm…the fact you mentioned “Christian,” “funny” and “smart” once each while mentioning “single” and “beautiful” three times worries me. Is this your way of telling me your daughter, Audrey, is three times as single and beautiful as she is funny, Christian and smart?
I’m assuming you’re just joking with me, but sure…send a photo my way! I am very honored that you consider me worthy, even if joking, to meet your daughter.
@Angi: THANK YOU. I really, really, really don’t want to have to write about Hanson.
So the totals so far:
Personal ad: 3 votes
Live Virtual Agent: 1 vote
Big Office: 1 vote
Hanson: 0 votes
;-) 6.6.08 at 5:01 pm:
I figured “single” and “beautiful” were the most salient features to this discussion, but no, she is all of the things I mentioned in more or less equal measure!
She’s also ornery so watch out.
I’m NOT joking and I’ve emailed you the pics to prove it!
LOL!
;-) 6.6.08 at 6:40 pm:
What would you do if I told you I wanted you to finish all four? Will you cry much then?
;-) 6.6.08 at 9:02 pm:
d(O.O)>[_] <—-Me, thumbs up and a piece of paper….no pen available
;-) 6.7.08 at 10:28 pm:
All my unpublished drafts are things that I decided were just too serious to post. Can’t be throwing out doses of serious into the blogosphere.
;-) 6.8.08 at 3:20 am:
Seems like the general consensus is…. #1 !!
Hurry it up. We’re dying.
;-) 6.8.08 at 6:03 am:
Oooo! Finish your little personal ad… Imagine how many women will get thrown at you! Or will throw themselves at you! Fun!
;-) 6.9.08 at 4:13 pm:
Yes, I guess I did vote for three of them. I don’t like making choices. And I didn’t exactly not vote for the Hanson one. Speaking of which, you must be right; I deluded myself into the happy belief that one of them had died and there would never, ever, be another Hanson song.
;-) 6.11.08 at 8:23 pm:
I like scenario three. Except at the end you come out of your reverie to discover it is the Jonas Brothers instead.
;-) 8.27.08 at 5:23 pm:
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