You Won This Round, Evil Oil Companies
by kev on June 12, 2008 

8 Comments

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In anticipation of the day gasoline reaches $100 a gallon (which at this pace could happen some time in November), I have started going to the gym to work out. If I’m going to have to walk the 11.1 miles from my home to work each day because gas is too expensive, I best prepare myself.

Long before gasoline reached $3, my brother vowed never to drive again if gas ever reached such a price. It was a bold statement since where we live has literally no public transportation. If you don’t drive, you either have to walk insanely long distances or become a shut in.

At the time, gas prices got close to $3, but never quite made it. Prices slowly went back down. With $3 gas no longer a threat, I thought it was an opportune time to agree with my brother’s earlier declaration and make a similar vow:

“If gas ever reaches $3 a gallon, I’m going to walk everywhere I go. I’m serious!”

Fast forward to about a year later. Gas reached and surpassed the $3 barrier. It’s now approaching (and has PASSED in other areas of the country) the obscene $4 barrier. Insanity has run wild.

In essence, the oil companies called my and my brother’s bluff. That is how I view it. Neither of us wanted to WALK everywhere, and I think the oil companies knew it.

“Kevin loves to sleep and he hates to sweat. No way he’ll get up early each day and walk to work in the blistering Georgia sun. Let’s call his bluff!”

Once they reached $3, I think they decided to go up to $4 just to rub it in my face.

Well, you can only kick a man so many times before he politely asks you to stop.

It’s time for me to show these oil companies who’s boss. And so, I’m going to get back into shape. I’m going to buy some comfortable running shoes. I’m going to make a new, ironclad vow.

“Here me now. If gas prices ever reach $100 a gallon, I am going to walk everywhere I go. No more driving for me!”

And this time… I’m serious.

As serious as the heart attack I will surely have while walking 11.1 miles in the blistering Georgia sun.

Humor-blogs promises to give me CPR.

8 Responses »

1. Foxy Lady
   
   June 12th, 2008 at 1:45 pm:

   So…if you and your brother are vowing to walk everywhere when gas reaches $100/gallon…and previously had made a vow to walk everywhere when gas reached $3/gallon…does that make me particularly lazy just because I don’t want to get up at 4am every day to catch the public transportation I DO have access to??

   On a sidenote, I need new running shoes too, thanks for reminding me.

2. JennyPenny
   
   June 12th, 2008 at 3:09 pm:

   Well, Kev, I’ll come pick you up when/if you collapse on the side of the road. Until gas hits $5 a gallon that is … then I’m becoming a shut-in because after all, everything I need is right here at this address … except groceries but I can send TG to procure vittles. You should get yourself one of those “I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up” bracelets because it sounds like you’re gonna need it buddy.

3. Alice
   
   June 12th, 2008 at 3:45 pm:

   I’m willing to sign on for the $100 a gallon vow. I can always take the funny little bus that tootles around here picking up what look to be people who were turned away from the Dollar Store.

4. Audrey
   
   June 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm:

   Yeah, they’re sayin it will be up to $6 by the end of the summer. Look on the bright side though, once we all start walking everywhere we’ll all be extremely skinny! America will be full of skeletons walking around. Can’t wait to see that.

5. JennyPenny
   
   June 12th, 2008 at 9:05 pm:

   Funny how folks want to look like skeletons until it’s time to actually be a skeleton. THEN they change their tune.

6. Heath (aka Yasumichi)
   
   June 13th, 2008 at 11:33 am:

   I’m with you. Ima start walking to work…its an hour drive…so…

7. Erin
   
   June 13th, 2008 at 2:36 pm:

   $6 a gallon by summer’s end? Dang it. I might have to consider riding my bike. Notice the noncommital tone? “Might” and “consider” are essential to making vows. Anyway, have fun preparing for your walks to work. I’m sure those oil companies are dying to call your bluff again.

8. Corrina
   
   June 17th, 2008 at 12:42 am:

   I’m going to have to get a second job just to pay for the gas to get to my first one.

   We do have public transportation but it’s so disorganized I’d have to take 5 busses, and head out at a ridiculous hour, to get where I need to go. I like sleeping way too much to have to do that.

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