I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
For this week’s Friday Four, I am going to share four unusual things I have written in e-mails recently. These might be funny, they might be completely off the wall, they might be things that make sense in context, or they might be things that wouldn’t make sense in any context. I’ll let you all decide!
“That’s the great thing about my world famous deviled eggs –- when they spoil, they taste extra devily.”
“Are you having trouble getting the mental image of a man dressed like Papa Smurf distributing cheese samples out of your head?”
“Most men ARE born with a compass in their forehead. But when God was handing out compasses, I asked Him for an extra helping of awesome instead. True story.”
“I wouldn’t know how to give a backhanded compliment even if a compliment was written on the back of my hand.”
Wait, we’re not finished yet! Here are four “bonus” Kev-isms. Best of luck trying to guess how the following quotes came about:
“I’m excellent at throwing rocks at bears who are trying to eat girls I’m hiking with. I’m very accurate. By that I mean I hit the bear more often than I hit the girl.”
“Invisible bears would be significantly harder to throw rocks at.”
“If bears know how to throw rocks, the earth is doomed. We each need to build a bear/bomb shelter.”
“I’d make my bear/bomb shelter out of honey. They’d never expect it.”
And there you have it. Proof positive that I am insane and that bears will one day rise to power and take over the world.
So, what are some off-the-wall things YOU have said or written lately? Leave a comment so we all can share your -ism.
Humor-blogs dresses up like Smurfette.
;-) 6.20.08 at 3:29 pm:
Hmmm….recently I said to someone via e-mail,
“This itching nose thing is quite the Eureka moment. I just wish there was a better symptom, like, kittens appearing in my lap or something.”
Also:
“Your G.I. Joe figures could possibly kick my My Little Ponies’ tails, but then my ponies will refuse to have any part in your army’s cavalry. Your men can WALK. Take that, Joe and Company.”
Bwahahah…
;-) 6.20.08 at 3:55 pm:
My -ism is “Have a day.” I hate telling people to have a good day because it’s so cliche and means nothing. As for the ones I want to have a bad day, even I’m not that mean to vocalize it. So it’s just “Have a day.” That much I can muster.
Watch out Kev. I think I see a bear behind you and he’s holding a mighty big rock.
;-) 6.20.08 at 4:43 pm:
“Ok….but don’t get mad at me when your liver finally breaks free from its abuse, revolts and hits you in the head with a frying pan and screams “Do you want fries with that?!?”
…
;-) 6.20.08 at 5:30 pm:
“There is nothing quite like watching exotic animals poo everywhere, right?”
“Why couldn’t I have come back from Europe with an English Muffin, an Italian Stallion, or a Spanish Conquistador? Okay, that was lame but there it is.”
“If so, I would be the crazy lady who jumps into the tank because she ‘wanted to swim with the dolphins’.”
“Even if you say, ‘One day I walked into a store, picked up a chest wig, paid for it at the cash register, and walked out’, it will hardly be boring.”
So…did you have an encounter with bears recently?
Is the man dressed like Papa Smurf using someone’s head to distribute the cheese samples or is the person trying to forget the Papa Smurf image? Excellent case of ambiguity–and I love it. One of the greatest joys of the English language.
;-) 6.20.08 at 5:55 pm:
Is that those polar bears I’ve been hearing so much about?
Just wondering.
OK what I said/wrote was: “I can only be myself and no one else can ever be me.”
;-) 6.25.08 at 1:45 am:
I’m stealing #3. True story.
;-) 6.27.08 at 9:52 am:
[...] the heels of last week’s Friday Four, where I shared some unusual statements I have written to people in e-mails recently, a colleague [...]
;-) 6.30.08 at 10:34 pm:
I don’t have any -isms, but I have seen that guy dressed like Papa Smurf. However, I was too embarrassed to admit it. But now, I’m relieved because of you. It really makes a difference when other bloggers share something I can relate too, thanks~ (Smile)
Also you’re not going to believe this, but a bear too over my site this morning.
Girl Scouts Honor, or whatever they say…
Cheers~ Ann
A Nice Place In The Sun