I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
It was a hectic week in Kevland (that’s right… I have renamed the city where I live “Kevland”). At work, I had to endure numerous, long, boring meetings. And, at home, I have been busy packing up my stuff in anticipation of my moving to a new place.
I am a “learn from your mistakes and grow from them” kind of guy, but it is clear I have yet to fully learn my lesson when it comes to the moving process.
On May 29, 2005, at my old blog, I wrote:
A forgotten part of the moving process is you have to clean your old place. And right now, my old place looks like a garbage can exploded inside of it. Why is my brother such a slob? Why do I keep everything ever given to me?
An hour ago, I came across a November 2002 memo from (my former place of employment). Why did I hold onto it? Did it strike me as funny at the time? Did I keep it in case I ever wanted to spit out some gum? Was it a magic memo that promised to grant me three wishes? And if the latter, where are my millions of dollars, my Ivy-league educated supermodel girlfriend, and my ability to turn invisible?
On August 19 of last year, I wrote the following post here at SKOS:
You would think I’d have learned from my move in 2005 to do a better job of decluttering. But sadly, I did not learn my lesson. I have too much old junk. Graded exams and assignments from back in my teaching days fill cardboard boxes in my room.
Why do I keep them? I guess I have this paranoid feeling I will be “audited” someday. The principal of my old school will contact me asking to confirm the quiz grade of some random student back in 2003. I hate audits.
I have never considered myself a pack rat, but I clearly need to wake up and smell the numerous boxes of crap I should have gotten rid of years ago.
Thankfully, after writing that last post in August, I got rid of the boxes of graded exams and assignments from my teaching days. If the principal of my old school contacts me asking to confirm a grade of a former student, I’ll just make up something. If I liked the student, I’ll tell the principal he or she had a 100 in my class. If the student was an evil spawn of Satan, I’ll tell him the student had a 13.
Fair? Well, no.
Sweet karma goodness? Absolutely.
Anyway, despite the fact I have made strides to rid myself of old junk, my place is still packed with things I do not need.
Do any of you still have shirts from your freshman year in college? I do. In fact, I have ALL of them.
Snake skin cowboy boots I last wore in 1996 and are probably too small for me now? Still have them.
My baseball cleats from my senior year of high school? Still have them.
A Hootie and the Blowfish CD? Yes, I still have it.
It’s a good thing I am frugal and don’t buy something unless I really, really need it. Because, if I wasn’t like that, Lord help us…
Kevland would be FILLED with junk from 1996.
Are any of YOU pack rats? What sort of things do you still have that should have long, long ago been discarded? Let’s hear it, people. Speak now or forever hold your soundtrack to the Titanic movie.
;-) 7.7.08 at 12:29 pm:
Last time I moved, I had boxes of things like half-melted candles and decorations I had had in my room when I was about 6 years old. I’m talking miniature horse figurines, baby pink and mint green CRAP…
I think the people at Goodwill know me by name from all the times I went there to donate stuff. I swear I got an eye roll or two.
;-) 7.7.08 at 12:40 pm:
How did you know about my Titanic soundtrack? Wait, wait, I know! Because of your magical powers of Awesome.
We have similar junk. I have T-shirts from high school. Soccer shoes/shin guards from middle school. Pink cowboy boots from 1990–wait, I think I finally got rid of those, unless they’re still lurking somewhere. Here’s the key, though. I left all that stuff at my parents’ house when I went to college. See, that way I can be a pack rat but not have to deal with the crap. Eventually, my mom will get annoyed and throw everything out and I will never notice. Problem solved.
So you’re moving–and in July? *smothers giggle* I’m sure you’ll have a great time and the weather will be lovely. Good luck!
;-) 7.7.08 at 3:46 pm:
Ugh I used to be such a pack rat. Primarily clothes. I had shirts from Jr. High that I refused to get rid of even though I never wore them. Old toys with sentimental value…and by toys I mean crap. And when I went through all my old CDs I found dozens of country albums that I used to listen to until I discovered that most country music is the perfect cure for the will to live.
Move…move and then move some more. The stuff will eventually just disappear as I discovered on my last move. I think the items in question vanish to the magical land of Narnia where Mr Tumnus keeps them in a broom closet that, logically speaking, is in essence a black hole. Which is how he keeps taking everything and never has to expand his cave.
;-) 7.7.08 at 4:23 pm:
I have bits of broken costume jewelry from early in the Reagan administration. I have so much craft and decorating junk that if I don’t get rid of some of it and die while it’s still in the closets, attic, and garage, my kids are going to spit on my grave.
;-) 7.8.08 at 12:29 am:
Nice one!
;-) 7.8.08 at 10:23 am:
I’m not ragging on all country music, there are some artists that I enjoy. But for the most part all their love songs are incredibly romantic or so depressing they could inspire suicide.
;-) 7.9.08 at 10:26 am:
Oooh, oooh, Yasumichi, I’ll take those country CDs.
Kev: You haven’t seen anything until you see my family. At my parent’s house, we have drawers in dressers full of my and my sister’s newspapers (we both wrote for the same newspaper, at different times), of my and my sister’s school papers, I mean,dating back to kindergarten (no, I don’t know why). And then books in the basement, and in a barn near the house, and records like Vic Damone (my parents, okay,not mine) and Ferrante & Teicher that probably now are so warped they wouldn’t even play anyway — as if we could find a record player on which to play them. This of course is just the tip of the iceberg, but that’s a start.
;-) 7.9.08 at 10:56 am:
Unfinishedperson: Sorry, thats a negative on those CD’s. Last night they rose up and tried to kill me while I was sleeping. After a bloody battle, not many survived.
;-) 7.11.08 at 8:32 am:
My Whodini Back in Black shirt!!! Found it about a year ago. I graduated in 1986 when the album dropped.
My roommate was a member of MSU Motion (Michigan State alum) and I found her shirt at the bottom of a trunk I hadn’t noticed in forever!!
;-) 7.12.08 at 3:53 am:
I am ashamed to admit this, but let’s not let that stop me from announcing it in a public forum, mmkay?
I still own the CD “To The Extreme” by Vanilla Ice. Oh yes I do. I ALSO still have my concert ticket stub from when I saw Pink Floyd in Oakland in ’94. But I will probably be buried with that, so I’m ok with it.