I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
As an addendum to my recent “Single, Awesome Male Seeks Single, Awesome Female” blog post, I began to think of reasons why being single isn’t such a bad thing.
I mean, there HAS to be an upside to being single, right? Yes, there has to be. There are too many single guys and gals walking around. Surely SOME of them are single by choice. I needed to investigate this.
So, for this week’s Friday Four, I am going to list four reasons being single isn’t so bad. I encourage all of you to help me add to the list!
When I Sit Down, I Have More Room
If I sit down to watch television or a movie, I have more room if I’m single. There’s room for my laptop, if I want to check my e-mail. There’s room for the two or three pillows I like around me at all times when I’m sitting down. There’s room for my cat, Smokey.
There’s also room for a box of tissue and a bucket for my tears. You know, in case I’m watching a sad movie or I become overwhelmed by the possibility of still being single when I’m 50.
I Sleep Better
As I’ve discussed before, the fact I am a borderline insomniac worries me because there is a real possibility my future wife will have a sleeping habit that’ll keep me up at night.
What if she snores really loud? What if she has night terrors and screams? What if she wets the bed at night? What if she has Jimmy Legs and kicks her feet while she sleeps? What if she’s possessed by a demon and does evil things like eat cookies in bed?
Add in the fact children bring a whole other set of issues to the table for someone who has trouble sleeping, and my being married would likely mean I’d never again fall asleep.
I’ll Live Longer
Research suggests married men don’t live as long as single men.
I guess it has something to do with the stress of always having to remember to put the cap back on the toothpaste. Or maybe it has something to do with wedding rings cutting off blood circulation?
I should have probably read the article and not just the headline…
I Have More Time for Important Things Like Blogging, Watching Sports, and Sitting Home Alone
Let’s face it: A relationship would significantly cut into the time I have available for blogging about important things like coffee and ants in my car.
It would definitely cut into the time I usually spend watching the Braves and Falcons lose over and over.
And it would most certainly cut into the time I usually spend sitting at home on Friday nights watching Scrubs or NewsRadio on DVD.
I mean, really…are a wife, kids, a house with a picket fence, and a lifetime of joy and happiness worth giving up all that?
And there you have it. Four incredibly ridiculous reasons why being single isn’t so bad.
So, what would YOU add to the list? Are there actually some good reasons out there? If so, do share them. As always, please feel free to leave a comment or two or ten.
;-) 8.29.08 at 12:01 pm:
FYI: These aren’t funny, which is why I didn’t include them in the blog, but I DO know of some good, legitimate reasons being single is a good thing. Getting closer to God is a great one. Knowing you’re not quite ready is a good (and wise) one. Wanting to concentrate on yourself is a good one.
But again, those aren’t funny.
;-) 8.29.08 at 12:08 pm:
well, there’s a few other reasons i’d like to include…
1. You’d have to take his opinion into account when you’re making dinner.
This might not seem like a deal-breaker, but there’s a reason it’s my number one. Think about it. You’ve worked all day, dreaming of coming home and making some nice chicken with mushrooms and white wine, maybe a little rice on the side, some green beans, and then hubby walks through the door, wanting homemade pasta, or some Dominos pizza, or even going out to Chili’s. Let’s be honest, If your wife/husband can’t read your mind about meals, then that’s a marriage headed for the rocks.
2. Books
Not too many people these days are willing to be in a threesome with a girl and her reading habit. I foresee this causing difficulties in a long-term relationship for me.
3. Long hair on guys
I’d cut it at night with scissors. Maybe even before we married, I’d sneak into his house and commit a B&E just to correct a serious flaw in his judgment. And then we couldn’t marry because I would be in jail getting into a relationship with a woman named Butch who could probably whoop his butt.
and those are just a few…. you may be right. single might be the new black for me.
;-) 8.29.08 at 1:21 pm:
1. The single person always gets to crash on everyone else’s couch for free. Couples don’t do couches well and neither do entire families with children. But the sibling/child/friend/cousin? I never drop a cent on hotel rooms and it’s great.
2. The single person in the family is also the first person who comes to mind for hand-me-down furniture, dishes, you name it. Since s/he “isn’t settled yet” s/he doesn’t need nice, new stuff, hand-me-downs are perfect.
3. Single people can keep their own schedules. Want to run errands after work and then grab a heart attack in a bag? No problem! No one is wondering where you are. Want to stay up until 3 am reading or watching movies? Fine!
4. Eating food right out of the container. Not that I would ever do that, but if I wanted to, I certainly could.
;-) 8.29.08 at 1:52 pm:
Single people can decorate however they want. If I want to put a giant, fabric covered, hot pink and purple, butterfly shaped mural over my lime green couch, with neon blue lamps at either end, I can. If I want to paint every wall in my house baby blue with sponge-painted hearts, and hang Anne Geddes photography everywhere, and have 16 lacy throw pillows and a stuffed unicorn on my bed, I can.
Or, if I want to paint my whole house black and write “REDRUM” in drippy red paint everywhere, I can do that too.
Not that I would do any of that…
;-) 8.29.08 at 2:09 pm:
@gianna: 1) Hmmmm. I wasn’t aware reading minds when it pertained to dinner was so vital to a marriage. I might be in trouble. 2) Call me old fashioned, but I think a threesome with a girl and her reading habit is okay. That’s assuming, of course, the girl is okay with having a foursome with me, baseball and my DVDs. 3) Whether or not that is crazy depends on your definition of “long hair,” I think.
@Erin: 1) That’s very true. Excellent point. The single guy or gal is able to save money on hotels. 2) Another good point. The single guy or gal is always getting free stuff. Hey, maybe we can combine these two points into, “single people can live more frugal!” 3) Ooooh, good point. Single people don’t have to call anyone if they are running five minutes late. 4) Actually, I plan on doing that even when I’m married. At least when it comes to Peanut Butter, anyway…
@Angi: Hmmmm. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
;-) 8.29.08 at 3:14 pm:
Okay, since you said it first, I’ll say it too–I have actually eaten out of the peanut butter jar at 3 am and I liked it. Usually, I get a clean spoon for each dip but not that time. And I’ve double-dipped for olives, too.
;-) 8.29.08 at 6:51 pm:
Being single is awesome. I say that because I’m single. LOL
This is random but as I write this, there is an ad in your sidebar that reads, and I am SO not kidding:
“Nothing is more beautiful and satisfying than an honest and mutual understanding.” And in the upper left corner of the ad is “Seeking Sugar Daddy!”
That’s awesome.
;-) 8.29.08 at 10:59 pm:
All I know is, someday you’re gonna meet her when you least expect it and when you do, YOU’LL be the one with the Jimmy Legs. Next will come the smitten kitten phase, followed by a necessary time of breathless extreme twitterpation, and then you’ll buy a piece of important jewelry, drop to one knee and beseech her to be your wife, get hitched, be pelted with copious amounts of birdseed by well-meaning friends and relatives, enjoy a romantic honeymoon, and end (or begin, as it were) by becoming decidedly and shamelessly uxorious for the rest of your days.
And it’ll be all gravy, baby.
Married men live longer than single men though, my friend. Documented. Of course, some wish for a shorter life … but that won’t be you.
;-) 8.30.08 at 2:59 am:
Two words: Guilt-free flirting. (Okay, sorta three, but it IS hyphenated).
;-) 8.30.08 at 7:37 pm:
Being single is awesome and I personally don’t see the joy of kids, spouses, and white picket fences. I like being independent yay me!
;-) 9.1.08 at 8:31 pm:
I agree with JennyPenny.
NewsRadio is best when shared. Plus later the two of you can quote scenes together. “Yes Matthew, in the event that a wizard casts a spell over the building…”
;-) 9.2.08 at 6:26 am:
I agree because I don’t my husband is going to live longer then the age of 30. Well I guess because I drive him crazy all the time, and want him to be tidy and clean.
Sarah Hayes’s last blog post: Mayra Veronica Rang the NASDAQ Stock Market Closing Bell!
;-) 9.2.08 at 12:44 pm:
[...] writing — not one, but — two blog posts late last week detailing my single status, a funny thing happened. The next day, the [...]
;-) 9.2.08 at 2:20 pm:
What if she sleepjumps onto her desk in an effort to escape a dream tarantula? We should probably never get married.
Awesome thing about being single: you never have to worry about someone else eating/drinking the last [insert food/drink item here]. Also, TOTAL control of the remote.
Allison’s last blog post: The Curious Incident of the Tarantula in the Night-time
;-) 9.3.08 at 2:38 pm:
@Erin: You’ve actually done that? Gross! I was so joking about having done it. You’re just…sick.
(Okay, I’m teasing. I totally eat out of the peanut butter jar without swapping spoons.)
@Corrina: That is one of the weirdest ads my site’s ever had! Haha.
@Jenny: Wow. What can I say, but thanks. Thank you for the kind words!
I’m not sure I agree with your “uxorious” statement, though. That doesn’t sound like me.
@Sam: I’m not much of a flirt, but that is an EXCELLENT pro.
@haha: You don’t see the joy in white-picket fenses?? But…they’re so white! And picket-ey!
@Josh: Thank you, my friend. Gosh, I haven’t seen NewsRadio in a couple months. Must watch it again!
@Sarah: Gosh, how dirty is your husband that nagging him to be clean will kill him? Is he like…goes three straight days without showering dirty? Or doesn’t change the bedsheets every few weeks dirty?
@Allison: Well, if your stories of sleep walking are indeed true, you’re probably right — a marriage might not work out. Haha.
I agree with you on the not having to worry about someone else eating or drinking your food. But the remote? Perhaps I am naive, but I’ll be having total control of the remote even in marriage!!