I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.

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Leather Chaps Never Go Out of Style
September 16, 2008
Blog, Dear Reader
16

For this latest edition of Dear Reader, I have the pleasure of helping an individual who doesn’t really need my help. At 6:43 am on September 16, 2008, a visitor from Borger, Texas, stumbled upon my site after asking the following question:

“are leather chaps stupid”

A big thanks to Google for referring this fashion-conscious reader to me.

Dear Reader,

Your question saddens me.

It doesn’t sadden me because leather chaps are stupid — far, far from it. No, it saddens me because it’s clear you wear leather chaps, but have “friends” who are telling you it’s stupid to do so.

So, instead of proudly wearing your leather chaps the way God intended, you are on the Internet desperately searching for confirmation.

This brings tear-like substances to my eyes.

Your “friends” are wrong. I use quotation marks because these parasites aren’t really your friends — they’re just minions of “the man” trying to keep you and your fashion greatness down.

Back when Britney Spears wore a sock on her hand while performing at the Super Bowl, fashion critics like your “friends” gave her beef. They did the same when she shaved her head.

When Paris Hilton wore her “Vote or Die” t-shirt in 2004 even though she wasn’t registered to vote in the upcoming elections, people like your “friends” mocked her.

And when I wore tapered jeans a few times, well…you’d have thought I had clubbed a baby seal and made pants out of it.

People lash out at what they don’t understand. They mock it. You just have to keep in mind the mocking is merely a defense mechanism to hide their fears.

If your “friends” begin making fun of your leather chaps again, you should react the same way you would if they ran under a bed to hide.

“Do not be afraid,” you should say. “These leather chaps will not harm you. They want to be your friend. See?”

And then, once they begin to lower their defenses, you should kick them where it hurts.

Why?

Because fashion greats such as you and I do not have time for ignoramuses and fashion lepers.

See you at the next meeting.

Fashionably yours,

kev

What sort of advice would YOU have given our fashionably-awesome friend here? As always, leave lots of and lots of comments — one or two or ten, preferrably.

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