I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
Earlier this year, followers of weird news were treated to the story of a woman who sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for two years. The boyfriend, who infamously explained that his psychologically-scarred girlfriend was “an adult” who “made her own decision,” ended up being sentenced to six months probation for the mistreatment of a dependent adult.
The boyfriend, Kory McFaren, is in the news again.
Now, I fully expected to eventually see his name pop up on the news wire. With someone like him, it was inevitable.
I could envision reading of his arrest after he tried to date a goat or some other farm animal.
I could envision reading of his arrest after he held Ty Pennington hostage until Extreme Makeover: Home Edition agreed to give him a new bathroom.
I could not envision reading about him winning the lottery.
That’s right. The guy who allowed his dependent, troubled girlfriend to sit on a toilet for two years before he sought help for her has won $20,000 in the Kansas state lottery twice this year.
I like to joke about karma as if it was real, but this so is proof it does not exist.
If karma was real, guys like Kory McFaren would not be winning the lottery. They would be “winning” the flu or a bad rash or something.
Of course, it doesn’t surprise me that Kory participates in the practice of flushing money down the toilet (i.e. playing the lottery). It’s such a him thing to do. Of course, since he has won, twice, I guess the joke’s on the rest of us.
A little suggestion to Kory, if I may be so bold, on how he should spend his lottery winnings: big-screen television for the bathroom.
Methinks it will come in handy during your next relationship.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:10 pm:
I don’t care who you are, I am not willing to sit on the toilet for two years just so you can win the lottery.
So don’t even ask.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:12 pm:
@Angi: Ah, come on. Pleeeaaassse?
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:13 pm:
No! Sit on it yourself!
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:15 pm:
@Angi: Me? That’s crazy talk. How will that help me win the lottery??
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:16 pm:
Good question. Maybe it will help me win, and then I’ll think about sharing.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:19 pm:
@Angi: I’m not sure I like this side of you. Why are you being difficult? Why won’t you just sit on the toilet for two years so I can win the lottery?
You’d think I was asking you to name the first born Sylvester or something.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:22 pm:
Are we talking like, the $252 million Powerball or are we talking like, the $20k Washington state lottery?
Because if we’re talking the $20k lottery, I’d rather let you name our first kid Sylvester.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:30 pm:
@Angi: So, does this mean you are on board if it’s the $252 million Powerball? Excellent.
Among other things, $252 million would buy a lot of therapy for little Sylvester, which he would inevitably need due to his having a mom who sat on a toilet for two years and a dad who approved — nay, encouraged — it.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:32 pm:
I didn’t say I was on board, I just asked how much we were talking about.
Too bad I don’t believe in Karma.
I do, however, believe in “Do unto others…”
So, you first.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:48 pm:
@Angi: Don’t make me have to blackmail you. I’ll grow a beard just like Cory McFaren. I’ll do it. Just try me.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:50 pm:
Blackmail me? You and what army?
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:54 pm:
@Angi: The army of black beard (or dark brown beard, to be more accurate).
Fear the beard, Angi.
Fear it.
;-) 10.8.08 at 2:57 pm:
I’m shaking in my boots-with-the-fur…
;-) 10.8.08 at 3:11 pm:
@Angi: As you should be. Wait, boots-with-the-fur…you’re not wearing them with shorts or a short skirt are you? Because that’s just tacky.
We’re already getting little Sylvester therapy for the toilet thing. Let’s not make him need therapy for his mom’s sense of fashion, too. That’s just overkill.
;-) 10.8.08 at 3:14 pm:
Yeah, I’m wearing a mini-skirt, actually – who cares that it’s 55 degrees out and that I’m at work?
They can deal.
And so can
Sylvesterwhat’s his face.;-) 10.8.08 at 3:17 pm:
@Angi: Are you insane? Cover up before you freeze to death!
Did you just put a strike through the name of your future son? I am appalled.
;-) 10.8.08 at 3:24 pm:
It’s okay, I have a long sleeved shirt on.
;-) 10.8.08 at 3:37 pm:
@Angi: You should try wearing a fake Cory McFaren beard. Talk about keeping yourself warm — I only started growing it one hour ago and my face already feels like I’m sitting in front of a nice, warm fire.
Of course, it’s possible I’m sitting too close to the lamp on my desk…
;-) 10.8.08 at 3:50 pm:
So, if I don a beard, does that mean I can wear a tank top with my mini skirt instead of this long sleeved shirt?
;-) 10.8.08 at 4:03 pm:
@Angi: If you’re asking whether or not said beard would keep you warm enough, the answer is yes.
However, you might want to be careful wearing such an ensemble in public. I have heard tale of guys slamming on their breaks in the middle of the street and yelling “hola chica” to ladies dressed far more conservatively than what you are suggesting.
;-) 10.8.08 at 4:10 pm:
Is THAT what they yelled this morning on my way to work!?
Perverts.
;-) 10.8.08 at 4:16 pm:
@Angi: See, you should come to Georgia. We yell far nicer things to our ladies.
;-) 10.8.08 at 4:18 pm:
Would Oklahoma work?
;-) 10.8.08 at 4:22 pm:
@Angi: I’m not sure. I’m not from Oklahoma, so I can’t promise the guys there will only yell nice things to you. It’s a gamble. But hey, I’m game if you’re game.
;-) 10.8.08 at 4:39 pm:
Maybe I’ll try it. See what happens.
;-) 10.8.08 at 8:38 pm:
Oh for crying out loud. There is no God.
Kathy’s last blog post: What’s That? Wednesday and More
;-) 10.9.08 at 10:48 am:
This is proof positive that the world is a f**ked-up place.
Sornie’s last blog post: Where’s my bailout?
;-) 10.9.08 at 1:45 pm:
Hmmm. Maybe I should go out and kick a puppy and then buy a lottery ticket. Seems like being a louse is the way to go.
Skip DeKades’s last blog post: Hostility Sensors Go Haywire at Atlanta Airport
;-) 10.9.08 at 10:40 pm:
Sooooooo Kev and Angi … does this mean you are boyfriend and girlfriend? Because when a man and a woman begin discussing toilets and money in public, that is usually what it means. *listening*
Jenny’s last blog post: The Cold Standard
;-) 10.10.08 at 12:05 am:
@Angi: Okay, but be careful. Guys can be crazy.
@Kathy: No, He just has a sense of humor is all.
@Sornie: It’s proof positive something isn’t right…that’s for sure!
@Skip: I like how you think. I’m going to use the “literally take candy from a baby” technique before buying my lottery ticket. I hear it works like a charm.
@Jenny: I wasn’t aware publicly discussing toilets held such a special meaning. Angi, sweetie, did you know this? As for your question…um, I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about.
;-) 10.10.08 at 12:07 am:
No, babe, I wasn’t aware either. Guess we better knock off the t****t talk. People will think we like each other or something.
;-) 10.10.08 at 12:27 am:
That is just wrong! I don’t even know what else to say. Wow.
zeez’s last blog post: Post for Post’s sake
;-) 10.10.08 at 11:16 pm:
That guy’s a tool. lol
Corrina’s last blog post: If Hangovers Could Kill
;-) 10.13.08 at 12:43 pm:
I remember that story about the toilet. That guy should have won the “worst possible boyfriend” award.
Maybe now he’ll take that $20K and buy his girlfriend some self-respect.
Ok that was mean. The poor girl probably has some major issues. But he should at least pay for the counseling after leaving her on the toilet for 2 years.
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