I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
Last month, I discussed one of my favorite types of comments — the type that says something negative and then dares you to delete it. Yeah, it takes me all of three seconds to delete those kinds of comments. And two of those seconds are spent laughing at the person’s lame attempt at strong arming me into approving their comment.
There is another type of comment I like that’s much lamer, much more pathetic, and a slam dunk certainty of being deleted: the “anonymous” comment.
Anonymous comments are almost always negative, and those who leave them are almost always sad, sad individuals. Seriously, the Internet already allows basic anonymity. Why be lame and take the anonymity up another notch?
Anonymous commenters like to hit and run. They like to visit a site, say something negative, and then run away. However, they don’t like facing any of the repercussions. So, they’ll use a fake name and a fake e-mail address.
For example:
Name: john
E-mail: johndoe123@fake.combon jovi rulz!! if you disagreee your a loser!!!! bite me, suckaz!!!
Of course, if anyone tried to e-mail John and have an intelligent discussion on the mediocrity that is Bon Jovi’s music, he or she would quickly discover the e-mail address John used doesn’t exist. Just like Keyser Söze — *poof* — John is gone.
Worse are the individuals who leave anonymous comments on blogs they regularly frequent or, in some cases, on blogs where they actually know the owner.
For example, a friend of mine has been stalked by her ex for over six months now. God bless him, the lad just hasn’t been able to move on. So, he lurks her blog. For a while, that (lurking) is all he did. But now all of a sudden he’s mustered the nerve to begin leaving comments on her site.
Of course, these comments are “anonymous.”
Interesting side note: Did you know you can determine the location of a person who leaves you a comment even if the person gives fake information? I ask because this painfully-obvious fact is apparently lost on my friend’s ex.
Oh well.
What sort of anonymous comments have all of YOU received in the past? How do you handle them? Is there ever an appropriate time to leave someone an anonymous comment? Have any of you left one?
As always, feel free to leave a comment or two or ten. Just don’t leave them anonymously, por favor.
;-) 10.22.08 at 2:40 pm:
I wonder what goes through the head of said stalking exes? Ideas…
“If I can get her to approve my comment, bingo…foot in the door to a discussion!”
“If she doesn’t approve my comment, screw her, I never liked her anyway.”
“If she approves my comment AND replies, she TOTALLY wants me back.”
“If she doesn’t approve my comment and then one of her friends writes about it, I’m so totally going to write about it on MY blog TOO, because nothing says ‘I never liked you anyway’ like copying everything she does.”
;-) 10.22.08 at 3:57 pm:
LOL You hit that one right square on the head, Angi.
Now that you mention it, Kev, I don’t even know if mine has ANON turned on or off. I know comment moderation isn’t on, barely time to post let alone manually approve any comments (it’s TONS, you know, I think you and Angi the only ones recently
) when I might not get around to looking at them for a while. I don’t get spammed, maybe because crawling and public listing are off. And if somebody wants to leave a stupidity notation on their file (one of those begging deletion), all the more incentive to leave it so everyone else can see what a flaming moron they are. Less work for me, not having to point out the obvious.
I see I’m barely hanging in 5th place here. I’d say skin of my teeth, but I have none so it’s moot. Well, that’s not entirely true. I have some, but they make me gag so they’ve been in their cup for the past 8 months. Yup, best $700 I ever spent, to leave my chompers in a cup. ANYHOW, I know I will never catch up to Angi – who also happens to be MY most “prolific” commenter as well. Big hugs at ya, girl! And you, too, Kev.
Angie’s last blog post: A Little More Likely
;-) 10.22.08 at 3:58 pm:
When I used to be more controversial in my blogging I’d get some that bordered on murder threats but now they are much more civil and fun-loving in nature.
Sornie’s last blog post: What to do with all that poo
;-) 10.22.08 at 3:58 pm:
Hey! My picture came back! How did that happen?
Angie’s last blog post: A Little More Likely
;-) 10.22.08 at 3:59 pm:
@Angi: I bet they think something along the lines of…
“Mind games didn’t work. Lying didn’t work. Cheating didn’t work. Dang it…I don’t know WHAT ________ wants. Maybe stalking will do the trick…”
@Angie: I’m glad to have you as a regular commenter! You class up the place.
@Sornie: Death threats? Really? I’ve never (knock on wood) received any of THOSE…
;-) 10.22.08 at 4:14 pm:
Kevin — Ooooh I bet you’re right. Running out of options there, stalker-person!
Angie — All you gotta do to catch up to my comments here is write 15 comments or so per post. Try leaving one word per comment. That oughta do the trick.
;-) 10.22.08 at 4:37 pm:
ROFL You really ARE funny, Kevin. Wait a minute… Them sounds like fightin words! Maybe I should beat you about the head with a broken McCain rally sign. After all, it could only be Democratic Party standards defining class as a cynical, overweight, balding, toothless crank with the ability to create an entire profession focused on the use of cuss words.
J/K, of course. I luvs ya anyhow. And I may have mentioned, having my name on someone’s FRONT PAGE totally gives me incentive to stop lurking about their site and leaving more than a random blobblet here and there. Unfortunately, I can’t leave 486,219 comments on other people’s blogs. That’s just way too much psychological diarrhea to leave scattered about the blogosphere.
I do enjoy coming over here and irritating you, though, much like I do to poor Diesel. But just like Diesel, I much prefer reading your stuff than writing my own. And I love that both of you guys take the time to respond to comments – something I sorely neglect doing myself (although I did take the time to babble some more in response to one of Angi’s comments the other day; Heaven love the girl, she not only READS my nonsense, she leaves COHERENT messages to me!!! I just recently met her – through SKOS, of course – but she’s a keeper.)
AND ON THAT NOTE… blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Angie’s last blog post: A Little More Likely
;-) 10.23.08 at 5:26 am:
How ridiculous does one have to be to stalk someone via their blog?? What a loser.
Corrina’s last blog post: My Eyes Need Bleach
;-) 10.24.08 at 5:12 pm:
Dang, and here I thought that “Anon” was just a really avid reader of my blog.
As my blog is fairly new and a little on the “mature” side, I’m learning quickly to delete, delete, delete.
I haven’t had any stalkers yet, but a girl can dream. Right?
p.s. First time here Kev, and I am enjoying your blog immensely.
AngieSS’s last blog post: I Hate…
;-) 10.24.08 at 10:43 pm:
I never leave anonymous comments (not my style) and so far have received no anonymous comments that I can remember, but despite the uber-fascinating content of my blog, it’s not like I receive all that many comments to begin with.
A few years ago the music director at our church, a nice enough guy who is a trifle … shall we say, “challenged” when it comes to English language usage, called me in a snit. Seems he had received an anonymous note from someone in the congregation, dissing him for producing big-screen PowerPoint presentations (viewed before the services began) rife with the egregious misspellings, impossible syntax, and poor punctuation for which this unfortunate fellow had become, sadly, all too well known.
“It’s signed ‘anonymous’ but I know you wrote this!” he said, all in a dither.
“Ehm, no,” I corrected him. “If I take the time to write something and give or send it to someone, you’d better know I’m going to sign my name. If I won’t own up to it, I won’t say it or write it in the first place.”
I wasn’t sure he believed me when I said it the first time, so I repeated myself more forcefully and in the end I had him eating out of my hand (figuratively). He invited me to provide him with real-time critiques of his PowerPoint bloopers and enlighten him with regard to his language gaffes whenever I deemed necessary.
Which I did, once or twice. But never anonymously.
Jenny’s last blog post: Four Minutes For America
;-) 10.28.08 at 5:54 pm:
I wrote a blog once about what was going on with Victoria Osteen and how unimpressed I was with how she handled it. Some anonymous lady from the Osteens church commented on my post and did a run down of all the “facts” in the case and why I was going to hell for attacking our dear friend Victoria.
All I could think was. How did a woman from a church in Houston happen upon my Osteen-bashing blog, unless they were googling Victoria Osteen every 10 minutes???? So you are right, these people are sad, pathetic individuals with no life.
;-) 10.28.08 at 5:55 pm:
Oh, and I have posted under the anonymous option on a blog, because I couldn’t remember my sign-in name, but I still signed it at the end
So, it wasn’t exactly anonymous.