I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
The following is a guest post from Cherie (no blog URL provided), a new visitor to SKOS. Yesterday, Cherie e-mailed me with a marriage proposal. Today, she’s submitted a guest blog. I’m not sure what she has planned for tomorrow, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that “murder suicide” isn’t on the agenda. I’m kidding. Kind of.
It never ceases to amaze me the wonderful and charming ways a man will try and get into a woman’s pants. I’m not sure what is so wonderful about my pants? Perhaps men are jealous of my baby phat jeans and can’t help themselves? And apparently I have a problem with my thermostat because I keep getting messages about being “hot.” Snaps… I knew I should have turned off the coffee pot. Now I’ve gone and lit myself on fire or something.
So… here they are. Most are unoriginal. I’m sure men are breaking copyright laws as we speak. Wait… I guess that means so am I by repeating them. Meh… what’s a little jail time. Besides I get to be lazy and Blog on someone else’s page and not have to create my own. I like this idea an awful lot.
Some scare me. Especially those from men named Bob.
“So here I am. What were your other two wishes?”
“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”
“Most pictures may be worth a thousand words, but a picture of you needs only one! Wow!”
“I think I lost my phone number… Can I borrow yours?”
“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”
“You’re burning up my monitor – are you always this hot?”
“I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away!”
“If you don’t wanna have kids with me, then why don’t we just practice?”
“Did it hurt When you fell from Heaven?”
“If I told you had a beautiful body… would you hold it against me?”
“I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of Heaven.”
And this one if my favorite. Obviously an original pick up line. The misspelling is charming isn’t it?
“wow thay are looking good”
I’m not sure what “thay” are. However, it does seem like there is a perception that I own some thay. And that thay look good. I’m just lucky like that.
I of course had to save the best for last. If it wasn’t for the blue Mohawk I just might date this one…
“I love long walks on the beach, reading poetry, and poking dead things with a stick.”
Of course, I am patiently waiting Kev’s answer to my marriage proposal. So Mr. “I like poking dead things” will have to wait.
;-) 12.4.08 at 2:57 pm:
Thay. I want some thay so then maybe brilliantly clever men would make passes at me, too.
Cherie, passing up a guy with a blue Mohawk who pokes dead things might be a grave mistake. I know you’re holding off until you hear from Kev, but seriously. He pokes dead things! With sticks! And LIKES it! Any day now he might start poking dead things with his blue mohawk.
;-) 12.4.08 at 3:51 pm:
I agree with Erin’s advice Cherie… this might call for a pause for greater reflection. Granted, Kev’s got his good points, but does he have a blue mohawk? when did he last read you poetry while walking on the beach with his dead-things-poking stick? Just ask yourself these questions before you put this gallant example of masculinity on the back-burner.
;-) 12.4.08 at 5:12 pm:
@Erin and gianna: I’m glad you are joking. If girls REALLY preferred guys with blue mohawks who poke dead things with sticks, I’m going to be terminally single for the rest of my days.
@Everyone: Maybe “thay” isn’t a misspelling — maybe it’s an acronym. Since it was recently Thanksgiving, it could stand for “Turkey, Ham and Yams.”
Thoughts?
;-) 12.11.08 at 11:31 am:
Thanks Kev for clearing up the thay. Now I really can’t wait for Christmas. My Turkey, Ham, and Yams brings all the boys to the yard. And they’re like, its better than yours, Darn right, their better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge.