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It’s a Boring, Boring World
December 8, 2008
Blog
14

The handful of you who regularly follow this site have likely noticed that, after weeks of lamenting how I was suffering from writer’s block, the frequency of my blog updates has picked up the last week or so.

Does that mean my writer’s block has disappeared? Well, no. I’m just bored. Bored, bored, bored. Updating my blog, even though I have NOTHING interesting to say as of late, cures the boredom for about thirty minutes or so while I’m at work.

“It can’t be that bad,” you say.

Yes, yes it is.

Thankfully, my weekends are usually entertaining. However, my work days are the stuff of boring legend. Seriously. Someday, boring authors will write about them. Boring parents will talk about my boring work days to their boring children, and their children will show their approval by yawning. The director and cast of The English Patient will one day reunite and turn the dull events of my work days into a boring, inexplicably long, feature-length film.

Let me walk you through a typical work day for me as of late.

After hitting snooze on my alarm clock two or three times, I get in the shower and debate whether or not to shave. It’s been a while since I’ve shaved my face and I’m beginning to look like Grizzly Adams. I look at my razor and notice hairs stuck between the blades from the last time I used it. Running it through water doesn’t get them out. I debate whether or not to “retire” my current toothbrush and use it to scrub the hairs out of the razor blade, but ultimately decide not to shave because the hair makes my face itch. The itching, I rationalize, will give me something else to do during the day.

With the shaving quandary solved, I wash my hair and bathe. I begin to curse the creator of the “scrubbing beads” in my Dial for Men Body Wash because they appear to serve no real purpose other than to adhere to my skin and not let go. It’s like having glitter all over me — I have to rinse forever to make sure it’s all gone. Methinks their creator was a sadistic moron.

I finish my shower, dress and go to work. This is where the fun really begins. I login to my computer and check my e-mail. A handful of times each day, I’ll get a notification that someone has left me a comment here on SKOS. I’ll occasionally get a legit letter from someone I know. I’ll even get a marriage proposal once in a blue moon. Those are usually entertaining. However, for the most part I receive junk letters and meeting invites for work projects. You haven’t endured true boredom until you’ve sat in a two-hour meeting for some project that has an acronym for a name that’s 8 letters long.

After reading my e-mail, my work day begins. My job has lots of peaks and valleys. Some weeks I have lots and lots of work to do. Those weeks fly by. I love them. However, some weeks I have virtually nothing to do. That has been the case lately. So, each day I get to stretch two hours of work into eight hours. Such days are slower and more boring than a Harrison Ford interview. (Seriously, have you ever watched an interview with this guy? He can put crack addicts to sleep.)

With lots of down time at work, I try to entertain myself as best I can. I read a few blogs. I leave some blog comments. I stare at the bare wall in my office (if you look closely you can see a crack in it). I’ve experimented with improving the awesome goodness that is French Vanilla Coffee Creamer (if you add just a drop of Hazelnut, it takes on a whole new flavor). I try to do some online Christmas shopping at Amazon (my mom will hate it, but Tommy Boy on DVD for $3.74 is a frugal shopper’s dream).

It’s just been brought to my attention that I have a project meeting to attend in a few minutes. I have only just begun relaying the extreme boredom that is my work day, but I think you all get the idea.

What can be done to cure my boredom? Well, I guess you could pray my workload increases. If I have more to do at work, the days will go by much faster. You could also leave me lots and lots of comments to read. Those are fun. Oh, and you all could start updating your blogs more frequently so I can have more interesting things to read.

And, of course, if you’re a single female, you could always send me marriage proposals. Of course, if my days get any more boring, I might have to remove the “single” condition.

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