I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
Alright, I'm just a guy (though an admittedly awesome one at that -- oh, and humble) who likes to blog. Sarcasm, quick wit and gorilla dust are my tools of the trade. Feel free to browse my blog, follow me on
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Click here if you'd like to write a guest blog for SKOS.
Partly because I have writer’s block and partly because her ex does this all the time and she seems to love it, I am stealing Angi’s blog idea and listing ten things I would like to do before I die. Prepare to be wowed, SKOS readers. It’s time to french kiss the sun.
1. I would like to make a snow angel. Yes, I realize this sounds lame, but as I’ve written about before snow seems to allude me year after year. I want snow. I want to walk around in it. I want to stick out my tongue and have snowflakes fall on it. I want to make a snowman and then set it on fire. I want to trick someone gullible into eating the yellow snow. In short, I want to live the dream.
2. I want to witness the Atlanta Braves winning another World Series. They won one, in 1995, when I was in college. But that was the only championship during their 1991-2005 streak of division titles. This fact makes me incredibly sad.
3. I want to see the Pacific Ocean. Among other things, this would make the Atlantic Ocean jealous.
4. I want to teach my children and my grandchildren (I currently have neither) how to catch, throw and hit a baseball. I also want to make sure they can spit with accuracy. It’s a baseball thing.
5. I want to write the next great American novel. Short of that, I’d just like to be published. Short of that, I’d like to sign the cast of some random kid with a broken arm.
6. I want to learn how to play a musical instrument — preferably either the piano or the guitar. Short of that, I’d like to learn how to play a mean triangle.
7. I want to be able to say, “I voted for the outspoken Christian candidate who had the conservative, Biblical values. You know, the guy who won the presidential election in a landslide.”
8. I want to visit Europe. If nothing else, I’m curious to see how their McDonald’s restaurants compare to ours.
9. I want to visit New York City. My mom has visited it once before and swears to me the streets do not smell like urine, but I need to see for myself.
10. I want to celebrate my 100th birthday.
And there you go. There are more things I want to do before I die, of course, but this is a good starter list. Okay, boys and girls, I challenge each and every one of YOU to write a similar list. Come on…it’ll be fun.
SOMEBODY called me out yesterday on Twitter for not updating my site since last Thursday. I don’t want to out this individual, so I have cleverly concealed her identity in the below image.
So, anyway, the whole “not blogging” thing, totally not my fault. For starters, my laptop died on me. I spent two solid days trying to bring it back to life. I’m happy to say I was finally able to figure out what was wrong, even though the solution makes no freakin’ sense whatsoever.
(To the Acer laptop owners out there: If your keyboard and cursor inexplicably stop working in normal mode, but work just fine if you boot up your computer in Safe Mode, you have a bad battery in need of a good spanking. Remove the battery from the laptop, plug in your AC adapter and voila. Your problem is solved. You’ll need to buy a new battery, but that’s sure as heck cheaper than a new laptop.)
In addition to my laptop issues at home, work has been really busy lately. This would be a bigger problem if I wasn’t so super awesome at my job, but it has meant I’ve been unable to blog during my lunch breaks.
And that’s it.
What? You thought I was going to write a ridiculously long list of insane reasons I couldn’t update? Please. Does that sound like me?
So, I finally joined the rest of my generation by getting an iPod.
(Sorry, no time for segues. I have a meeting to go to in 35 minutes.)
Someone who I will only refer to as Miss Awesome gave me her iPod Nano after she bought herself a new one. It is, by far, one of the coolest gifts I’ve ever been given.
Not that I don’t have a varied taste in music (ha!), but I have added the following albums to my iPod to listen to while I’m at work:
So, boys and girls, if you want to be cool like your buddy Kev, you now know what I’m listening to while at work.
You’re welcome, boys and girls.
(And thank you, Miss Awesome.)
Yes, I know. This was boring. But what do you want from me? I had to throw something together real quick before my 1:00 meeting. Tell you what. If you guys leave me at least 15 comments, I promise to write a REAL blog post tomorrow. Deal?
It’s time to find out the results for the Arby’s Coupon Contest (Otherwise known as the “Kevin cannot think of anything interesting to blog about today, so he’s taking Angi’s advice and listing fifteen ‘facts’ about himself and then seeing if his readers can pick out which ones are true and which ones are fake” contest).
Below are the fifteen questions and the correct answers.
1. As a freshman in college, the only decoration I had on my dorm walls was a single Alanis Morrisette poster.
Answer: Sadly, this is true. After graduating high school, someone gave me an Alanis Morriesette poster and I brought it with me to college. One day, after having been in the dorm for weeks, I looked around and noticed how naked my walls were. So, I looked for something I could hang on my walls. The Alanis poster was all I could find. I realize this doesn’t make what I did right, but at least understand why I did it.
2. I once met and had a cup of coffee with one of the girls who sent me a marriage proposal via my blog.
Answer: Nope, this one is false. While I have before met someone who discovered me via my blog, this female had not proposed marriage to me. No, the marriage talk didn’t come for several weeks after our meeting.
3. My next cigarette will be my first cigarette.
Answer: True. I have never smoked a cigarette (or anything else, for that matter) in my life. And no, I don’t think I’m better than anyone who HAS or DOES smoke. I just have better lung capacity, that’s all.
4. During the first two months at my current job, I was hit on by our secretary and our cleaning lady.
Answer: This would be true. The secretary, who was in her 20s, would send me chit-chat emails during the day. At first, I thought she was just being polite. But I knew for certain what was going on when my 40-something-year-old boss came into my office and, in a very high school moment, asked me if I knew our secretary liked me. Apparently, he had heard her saying some stuff about me to people. The cleaning lady, also in her 20s, was a bit more direct. While vacuuming my room one day she asked me if I was single and then gave me a piece of paper with her phone number on it.
5. I had never before been on a plane until the age of 28. On my first flight, I was seated next to two cute girls who had just graduated from Auburn, were on their way to a wedding, and who thought it was “adorable” I had never before flown. One of them asked me to be her date to the wedding. It was the best first flight in the history of first flights.
Answer: True. If I had know flying was so awesome, I’d have done it much sooner.
6. As a teenager, I failed the test for my driver’s license. Three times.
Answer: Believe it or not, this is true. Unlike most teenagers, I had no desire to drive. At 15, I did not get my learner’s permit. At 16, I didn’t attempt to get my driver’s license. No, instead, I waited until I had a date for my junior prom (see #10). At the age of 17, with prom three months away, I quickly got my learner’s permit. I then hurriedly began learning how to drive. I was not a fast learner. And during those three months I failed my driving test three times. The first time was due to several minor things, which wasn’t much a surprise considering I’d only been driving a few weeks. The second time I had a perfect score, but at the last stop sign the tester told me I didn’t come to a complete stop, which is an automatic failure. The third time I failed, despite having a perfect score, because the tester was not buckled. I asked him to buckle, but he told me not to worry about it. Apparently, I was supposed to INSIST he buckle up. The guy tricked me.
7. Of the ten readers currently listed in the Top Commentators (?) This Month section of my sidebar, I have met two of them in person.
Answer: True. I know two of the individuals in my “top commentators” section, and I see them regularly.
8. I had my first beer at the age of 28. My first thought after sipping it was, “Mom was right — it does taste like cow pee.”
Answer: This would be true. I did not have a beer until age 28. My ex-girlfriend and I, along with her parents, brother and sister, visited her grandmother at a lakeside cabin one weekend. The only things they had to drink were water and beer. So, I had a beer. I did not like it. And no, neither me nor my mom know what cow pee tastes like. It’s an expression. I heard it from my mom. She heard it from a friend, who may or may not have ever tasted cow pee.
9. The first rock album I ever listened to was America’s Least Wanted by Ugly Kid Joe.
Answer: Yep, true. As an eight grader my friend, Shazad (I think that’s how he spelled his name), loaned me a cassette tape of Ugly Kid Joe. The album, long forgotten by anyone without a sponge of a brain, featured a cover of Cat Stevens’ Cats in the Cradle. It’s actually a pretty decent song.
10. Since I did not yet have my driver’s license, my date — the future homecoming queen — had to drive us to our junior prom.
Answer: Sadly, this is true. Because I kept failing my driving test, I did not have my license before the prom. So, my date had to drive us. Now, is it kind of cool to be able to say the homecoming queen drove me to our prom? I guess. But that coolness is offset when I inevitably have to explain why she had to drive me!
11. The last movie I went to see in theaters was Lady in the Water in July 2006.
Answer: This is true. One, I don’t go to the theaters very often anyway. I much prefer renting a DVD and watching it at home. But two, watching that movie in theaters was torture. The place was packed with teens and college students who WOULD NOT SHUT UP. They laughed whenever the lead character stuttered. They laughed at serious, emotional scenes. They talked nonstop. It. Was. Torture.
12. I e-mail, chat online and text message the same way I blog or fill out professional paperwork: with proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. Even when I’m text messaging in a hurry.
Answer: Yep, true. Early on, back in my America Online days, I quickly learned there were only two ways to separate yourself from the morons online and actually make yourself appear intelligent: type fast and type well. So, whenever I talk on instant messenger, I used proper spelling and grammar. I do the same in emails. And once I got into text messaging, I did the same with texting. My name is Kevin, and I use proper spelling and grammar.
13. Every time the stock market plummets, I buy some stock.
Answer: This is true, but it was a poorly worded question. I don’t buy stock WHENEVER the market goes down. But whenever it takes a beating and reaches a certain “buy worthy” level, I buy. So, if the Dow goes down 300 points in a single day, it’s a safe bet that I bought some stock at the close of business.
14. The last fight I was in was during eighth grade. A boy nicknamed “Stick” tried to bully me one day. Apparently, “Stick” was unaware his nickname was given to him due to his stick-like physique.
Answer: True. I had glasses at the time and was not yet a varsity athlete, so good ol’ Stick picked a fight with me one day in P.E. class while the teacher was away. In a large group of classmates, he pushed me twice. I then punched him twice in the face. Stick never bothered me again and, to his credit, surmised that he picked on the wrong kid whenever someone teased him about the fight. On the bright side, I never had to deal with bullies after that day.
15. I loathe briefs and despise boxers. However, I think boxer briefs rule.
Answer: 100% true. Boxer briefs are the best. The. Best. To those of you who guessed that I go “commando,” what kind of guy do you think I am??
Yes, for those keeping score, only ONE of the items was false. The rest were true. Now, I did not do this on purpose. When I originally began writing the post, I wanted to have 7 or 8 true ones and 7 or 8 false ones. But once I began writing I forgot all about it. It wasn’t until the next day that it dawned on me all except one of my “facts” were, indeed, factual!
But that doesn’t much matter anymore. What’s done is done. The only thing the matters now is…
WHO WON?!
As announced, the winner will receive fourteen Arby’s coupons that do not expire until the end of the month. The winner will also receive bragging rights, and those never expire.
So, let’s look at the results. The number of correct choices are in parentheses:
Josh (13)
Erin (11)
Corrina (10)
Diana (10)
gianna (10)
Jenny (9)
Kathy (7)
Sarah (7)
Allison (1)
Thank you to everyone who participated!
I would be amiss if I didn’t mention that Angi, since she thought it would be unfair to everyone else, did not participate in the contest. Way to be altruistic, Ang.
I would also be amiss if I didn’t tease Allison for only getting one correct answer. Were you even trying, Allison? Geesh.
I think that since Josh, the winner, knows me in real life, he might have had a slight advantage in the contest. So, with his blessing, I am splitting the coupons between him and Erin.
Okay, boys and girls. That’s all for now. I’ll see what I can get my hands on to give away next.
Perhaps I’ll find a rock on the ground?
A few quick news and notes from the land of SKOS. (Doesn’t that sound like a cool place to live? I should try selling time shares…make a few bucks.)
Undeniable Proof My Readers are Literate
Aside from the minor issue of me still waiting for all the winners to send me their mailing addresses (*cough* gianna *cough*), the book giveaway was an astounding success. Once I have received the addresses from all the winners (*cough* gianna *cough*), I’ll get the books shipped on out.
Of course, that’s not to say the book giveaway was without controversy. Two regulars, who both happened to come away empty handed, have claimed the giveaway was fixed. Josh went Oliver Stone on me and brought up the “C” word (conspiracy). Steve wondered aloud if I hand picked the winners, who just happen to all be female, so that I could “woo” them.
Pssssh, I say. Pssssh.
One of the five winners, Angie, is married. I have no idea of Gianna’s (*cough* send me your address *cough*) relationship status. Plus, with the exception of Josh and Steve and a small handful of others, most of my readers are female. It’s little wonder all five book giveaway winners were female — the odds are stacked in their favor!
Besides, fixing a book giveaway would be wrong.
I’m Thinkin’ Arby’s
Speaking of giveaways, the Arby’s coupon giveaway is going to end tomorrow at 5:00 PM EST. Yes, I arbitrarily picked this number out of a hat.
Thank you to all who have participated in the giveaway and attempted to decipher fact versus fiction in the Kev trivia game. However, several regularls have yet to participate. What’s up, guys? Too good for Arby’s? Or are you scared you might flunk the quiz?
Yep, I bet that’s it.
I will announce the winner on Thursday, along with the correct answers and how well everyone did.
And yes, whomever comes in last place will be teased. Just a little bit, though.
LOST is addicting, oh yes it is
I realize the rest of the world caught on to the LOST phenomenon several years ago, but I just started watching it last week. I’m watching Season One on DVD and I’m absolutely hooked.
Every episode is suspenseful. Every episode reveals something new and unexpected.
Locke’s dad stole one of his kidneys?
Kate is an outlaw??
Sawyer is farsighted???
I wish I could take off a solid week from work and watch every single episode.
There was no rhyme or reason to this post, but what are all of YOU addicted to lately. Consider this your very own 12-step program. Just leave a comment or two or ten.
Okay, boys and girls, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. It’s time to send five lucky individuals into euphoria while sending numerous others into deep, dark despair. It’s time to pick the winners to last week’s book giveaway.
I used the random number generator to give me five numbers within the range 1 to 36 — the total number of comments left by readers for the contest.
To the left is a print screen of the five winning numbers: 1, 16, 10, 8 and 31. Each number is matched with the corresponding comment from the contest’s blog post to give me the five winning names. Many people left multiple comments, but luckily there were no duplicate winners. It must have been my lucky day.
So, without further adieu, here are the winners and the comments that made their dreams come true:
Comment #1
Comment #16
Comment #10
Comment #8
Comment #31
Congrats, ladies! Tomorrow, I will e-mail each of you and request your names and mailing addresses. Before you know it a fresh, brand-spanking-new copy of How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You’re Left Behind will be in your mailboxes.
Thanks to everyone who participated. You all rock.
Today, boys and girls, we’re going to play a game. I call it the “Kevin cannot think of anything interesting to blog about today, so he’s taking Angi’s advice and listing fifteen ‘facts’ about himself and then seeing if his readers can pick out which ones are true and which ones are fake” game.
What’s that? You’ve never heard of that game? Hmmm. I guess that means you aren’t cool. All the cool kids play this game. Yep. In fact, I heard Johnny Depp, Kristen Bell and that dog from the show Frasier we’re all playing it just the other day.
Now, let’s begin!
1. As a freshman in college, the only decoration I had on my dorm walls was a single Alanis Morrisette poster.
2. I once met and had a cup of coffee with one of the girls who sent me a marriage proposal via my blog.
3. My next cigarette will be my first cigarette.
4. During the first two months at my current job, I was hit on by our secretary and our cleaning lady.
5. I had never before been on a plane until the age of 28. On my first flight, I was seated next to two cute girls who had just graduated from Auburn, were on their way to a wedding, and who thought it was “adorable” I had never before flown. One of them asked me to be her date to the wedding. It was the best first flight in the history of first flights.
6. As a teenager, I failed the test for my driver’s license. Three times.
7. Of the ten readers currently listed in the Top Commentators (?) This Month section of my sidebar, I have met two of them in person.
8. I had my first beer at the age of 28. My first thought after sipping it was, “Mom was right — it does taste like cow pee.”
9. The first rock album I ever listened to was America’s Least Wanted by Ugly Kid Joe.
10. Since I did not yet have my driver’s license, my date — the future homecoming queen — had to drive us to our junior prom.
11. The last movie I went to see in theaters was Lady in the Water in July 2006.
12. I e-mail, chat online and text message the same way I blog or fill out professional paperwork: with proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. Even when I’m text messaging in a hurry.
13. Every time the stock market plummets, I buy some stock.
14. The last fight I was in was during eighth grade. A boy nicknamed “Stick” tried to bully me one day. Apparently, “Stick” was unaware his nickname was given to him due to his stick-like physique.
15. I loathe briefs and despise boxers. However, I think boxer briefs rule.
And there you have it. Wasn’t that fun? I had fun. Did you have fun?
So, think you know which ones are real and which ones are fake? Well then, smarty pants, leave a comment with your answers. I’ll even make it worth your while…
I have in my possession fourteen Arby’s coupons that do not expire until the end of the month. That’s right. I’ll give these bad boys to whoever gets the most correct answers.
You want a toasted sub for $2.99? I got your toasted sub for $2.99 right here. You want a chocolate or vanilla jamocha shake for 99 cents? I’m holding in my lovely (but manly) hands just such a coupon. You want four Arby’s Melts for $5? My friend, this is your lucky day. I’ve got that one and many, many more.
“But Kev, how can your frugal brain allow you to give away so many wicked awesome coupons?”
Let me worry about my brain. You worry about getting the correct answers!
Best of luck, everyone. This contest is tentatively scheduled to end a week from today. To make sure no one tries to cheat, you may comment as many times as you like, but you can only guess once.
Also, don’t forget about the book giveaway. The contest ends tomorrow and I’ll announce the winners on Friday.
I’m such a giver.
It’s funny sometimes how seemingly mundane tasks can conjure up long lost memories.
Today, I remembered I owed my employer a check for $12.73. On my last day of work before my wonderfully long Christmas vacation, I used my company’s shipping service to mail a Christmas gift. By the time I got back from my extended vacation, I had forgotten all about the owed money.
Why didn’t I just write my company a check the day I shipped the gift (when it was all still fresh in my mind), you ask?
Because I didn’t have my checkbook with me.
I write checks about as often as Angi’s ex-boyfriend changes socks or James Cameron directs movies. There’s just no reason for me to carry around a checkbook at all times.
Besides, I don’t like checks. If someone writes you a check, it can bounce. If you write someone a check, your account number, bank’s routing number, your name, address and signature are all right there on the check for an unscrupulous individual to use. Do you have any idea how easy to is to make counterfeit checks with a fake name and address at the top of the check and someone else’s routing and account numbers at the bottom? It’s too easy, my friend. Way too easy.
In short, I don’t like checks. Still, once every few years, I come across a situation where writing a check is my only option. When those situations arise, I get my checkbook out of my filing cabinet at home and do the evil deed that must be done.
Which brings me to today.
My employer won’t take cash or credit cards. A check is my only option. Thankfully, during my Christmas break, I momentarily remembered about the $12.73 I owed, so I grabbed my checkbook and put it inside my car. Today when I remembered, my checkbook was only about forty yards away.
As I began writing the check, I noticed the last check I had written. It was way back in early 2007. Just like this one, it was a check written to my employer after I had used their shipping service. Unlike this one, it wasn’t a gift I had mailed. No, the last time I wrote a check, way back in 2007, was when I shipped some items to my ex-girlfriend that she wasn’t able to take with her after we broke up and she moved away.
I had forgotten all about that until I saw the copy of the check. I shipped two boxes to her. One, I don’t remember anything about. I remember the second box, though.
It was filled with tiny pillows. These were the same pillows we had numerous conversations about back in the day. I never understood the point of them. During the day, they littered her bed. At night, she’d take them all off and put them in her closet. She wouldn’t sleep with them, which is what I always assumed was the purpose of pillows.
To me, if the entire point was to decorate your bed, why stop with tiny pillows? Why not put some artsy paintings on your bed? Why not go to an antique mall and find some nice knickknacks that could sit on your bed during the day? And if you really wanted to class it up, why not put a portrait of me on the bed?
I always thought my logic was impeccable, but she agreed to disagree.
On that day in 2007, those tiny pillows bewildered me in an entirely new way. It cost over $20 to ship them. How the heck do pillows cost so much to mail? These things are so small and light I could have tied them to the feet of thirty carrier pigeons and let them take the pillows to my ex.
However, since I was only able to corner and capture 15 pigeons, I couldn’t go through with that plan. I ponied up the twenty plus bucks, released the pigeons back into the wild, and cried my frugal self to sleep that night.
Don’t forget about the book giveaway. It ends this Thursday, February 12. The more comments you leave, the better your chances of winning.
As for THIS blog post, leave me lots and lots of comments and I’ll consider mailing you either a tiny pillow or a portrait of yours truly. Your choice, of course.
I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but on the heels of the absurdly large (for me) number of comments on my last blog post it is time I reward my faithful readers.
Yes, yes, I know the pleasure of reading my insanely witty posts is a huge reward in itself. But I can do more. Kathy at The Drunk Drawer gives away prizes to her readers every week. The least I can do is give all of you (well, not ALL of you) a prize once every three years or so.
Consider it my way of saying thanks. “Thanks for letting me enrich your lives with wicked awesome laughter.”
Ah heck, enough with my altruism. Let’s get down to the giveaway.
Thanks to the wonderful Anna Balasi of the Hachette Book Group, I have five copies of How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You’re Left Behind by Steve and Evie Levy.
The hard-hitting guest blog I wrote last April Fool’s Day, Planning for Retirement in a Post-Apocalyptic World, is undoubtedly the reason I was chosen for the book giveaway. I am clearly the one-stop source for all post-apocalyptic financial news.
You can likely decipher whether or not this book is your cup of tea by its product description:
Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.
And that means one thing: investment opportunities!
Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
Make no mistake, this book is a satire about the end times. Mimicking a how-to investment guide, it attempts to instruct readers who will be left behind after the Rapture on how to “exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit.” In its review, Publishers Weekly commended the book for the way it handled a “highly-charged topic with a surprisingly light touch.”
Of course, whether you will consider the handling a light touch or blasphemy in comedic form is entirely up to you.
Back in October, I wrote a blog that brought up the possiblity of this giveaway. In it I asked:
If done well, this book could be hilarious. However, it could also be extremely blasphemous. It depends on how the writers handled the topic.
Assuming it’s the latter, that it’s blasphemous and I hate it, should I do a giveaway here at SKOS anyway?
The overwhelming majority of you told me I should do the book giveaway anyway, so I will. Methinks a few of you have book burnings planned, but I digress.
By leaving a comment to this blog post, you enter your name into the drawing. The more comments you leave, the more chances you will have to win. However, your comments must be meaningful and actually contribute something. If you type nonsense just to up your chances of winning, I’ll have to disqualify you (this means YOU, Angi).
The drawing will end one week from today on February 12, 2008. I’ll use a random number generator to pick five numbers and the comments that correspond with those numbers will be the lucky winners. I’ll then e-mail the winners so that they can give me their mailing addresses, and then I will ship them their bombs books.
Easy peazy lemon squeezy, right?
Let’s do this thing.
A few random thoughts for a caffeineless Monday morning…
Great game, but is John Madden in love with that guy or something?
I rooted for the Cardinals since Kurt Warner is one of my favorite athletes, but I can’t say I’m too disappointed by last night’s Super Bowl. Yes, the Steelers, the team Obama was rooting for, won. Yes, the halftime show was unwatchable because I was worried Bruce Springsteen was going to break his hip or neck with all his 59-year-old acrobatics on stage. Yes, the Super Bowl commercials were the stupidest, lamest, biggest waste of advertising money I’ve ever seen. And yes, the announcer for the game was John Madden, whose never-ending compliments of Steelers’ Tight End Heath Miller bordered on the homoerotic.
Despite all that, the game was one of the best in recent memory. Both teams fought hard. Warner played a great game. The outcome of the game came down to the very end. And if those weren’t enough to make last night’s festivities a positive experience, I present to you two indisputable facts:
1. A New York or Boston-area team did not play in, or win, last night’s Super Bowl. As someone who loathes the media’s constant praise of all things New York and Boston, this fact comforts me.
2. The hour-long episode of The Office that came on after the game was comedy magic. The first five minutes brought tears to my eyes. That is something even “chopping onions while listening to Messages by Velvet Revolver” cannot do.
Geesh, did anyone bother checking to see if OBAMA has been paying taxes?
On the heels of Timothy Geithner, Obama’s pick for Treasury secretary, not paying $34,000 in Social Security and Medicare taxes from 2001-2004, it appears Obama’s pick for Health and Human Services secretary has similar tax problems.
Tom Daschle says he is “deeply embarrassed” for failing to pay over $120k in taxes. The former Senate Democratic leader, who is set to oversee the new administration’s health initiatives, referred to his multiple oversights as “errors.”
I don’t ask for much.
I did not vote for Obama and I’m well aware that no one he chooses to pick for his Cabinet will be up to snuff in my eyes. That said, is it so freakin’ difficult to find Cabinet members who haven’t been doing things that would put you or me in hot water?!
If your Common Joe wanted to get a job which required “secret” security clearance on any of the numerous air force bases in our country, and a background check revealed he had massive amounts of debt or — oh, I dunno — owed a massive sum in back taxes, said Common Joe would most likely not be able to get said job.
Am I crazy, or should these people be held to HIGHER standards than your Common Joe?
I immediately regret this decision…
As a gesture of goodwill, I agreed this past weekend to do something I have never done in my life. Sometime later this year, I am going to do something that no girlfriend, friend or family member has ever been able to get me to do.
I am going to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Yes, it is true. I have never had one. Ever.
I know it’s difficult to believe because, one, I love peanut butter. I love it, love it, love it. But two, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a staple food items growing up, right? Everyone brought one to school in their lunch boxes, right?
Well, not me. I was a rebel — a rebel with a turkey sandwich in his A-Team lunch box.
So, yeah, later this year a streak will be broken. It’s possibly the longest such streak on earth.
You’re welcome.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:41 am edit:
I am shocked and appalled, Kevin. I don’t write nonsense that often NEVER write nonsense comments!!!
ACTUALLY, I was going to say that if someone was able to write an entire book based on ideas on how to “profit from the coming rapture,” more power to them. If someone had asked me, “Hey, Ang, how do you suppose one could profit from the upcoming rapture?” the only good idea I’d be able to come up with would be, “Well, hopefully all the bank tellers at your bank were taken up so you can just walk in and grab stacks of cash.”
But see, that’s why I’m not a financial advisor or author, and that’s why Steve and Evie Levy are. (I can’t say those names without laughing. Steeeve and Eeeevie Leeeeevy.)
I digress. I wouldn’t want to be accused of leaving nonsense.