I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but on the heels of the absurdly large (for me) number of comments on my last blog post it is time I reward my faithful readers.
Yes, yes, I know the pleasure of reading my insanely witty posts is a huge reward in itself. But I can do more. Kathy at The Drunk Drawer gives away prizes to her readers every week. The least I can do is give all of you (well, not ALL of you) a prize once every three years or so.
Consider it my way of saying thanks. “Thanks for letting me enrich your lives with wicked awesome laughter.”
Ah heck, enough with my altruism. Let’s get down to the giveaway.
Thanks to the wonderful Anna Balasi of the Hachette Book Group, I have five copies of How to Profit From the Coming Rapture: Getting Ahead When You’re Left Behind by Steve and Evie Levy.
The hard-hitting guest blog I wrote last April Fool’s Day, Planning for Retirement in a Post-Apocalyptic World, is undoubtedly the reason I was chosen for the book giveaway. I am clearly the one-stop source for all post-apocalyptic financial news.
You can likely decipher whether or not this book is your cup of tea by its product description:
Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.
And that means one thing: investment opportunities!
Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
Make no mistake, this book is a satire about the end times. Mimicking a how-to investment guide, it attempts to instruct readers who will be left behind after the Rapture on how to “exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit.” In its review, Publishers Weekly commended the book for the way it handled a “highly-charged topic with a surprisingly light touch.”
Of course, whether you will consider the handling a light touch or blasphemy in comedic form is entirely up to you.
Back in October, I wrote a blog that brought up the possiblity of this giveaway. In it I asked:
If done well, this book could be hilarious. However, it could also be extremely blasphemous. It depends on how the writers handled the topic.
Assuming it’s the latter, that it’s blasphemous and I hate it, should I do a giveaway here at SKOS anyway?
The overwhelming majority of you told me I should do the book giveaway anyway, so I will. Methinks a few of you have book burnings planned, but I digress.
By leaving a comment to this blog post, you enter your name into the drawing. The more comments you leave, the more chances you will have to win. However, your comments must be meaningful and actually contribute something. If you type nonsense just to up your chances of winning, I’ll have to disqualify you (this means YOU, Angi).
The drawing will end one week from today on February 12, 2008. I’ll use a random number generator to pick five numbers and the comments that correspond with those numbers will be the lucky winners. I’ll then e-mail the winners so that they can give me their mailing addresses, and then I will ship them their bombs books.
Easy peazy lemon squeezy, right?
Let’s do this thing.
;-) 2.5.09 at 11:41 am:
I am shocked and appalled, Kevin. I
don’t write nonsense that oftenNEVER write nonsense comments!!!ACTUALLY, I was going to say that if someone was able to write an entire book based on ideas on how to “profit from the coming rapture,” more power to them. If someone had asked me, “Hey, Ang, how do you suppose one could profit from the upcoming rapture?” the only good idea I’d be able to come up with would be, “Well, hopefully all the bank tellers at your bank were taken up so you can just walk in and grab stacks of cash.”
But see, that’s why I’m not a financial advisor or author, and that’s why Steve and Evie Levy are. (I can’t say those names without laughing. Steeeve and Eeeevie Leeeeevy.)
I digress. I wouldn’t want to be accused of leaving nonsense.
;-) 2.5.09 at 11:51 am:
@Angi: I tease.
It’s okay when YOU leave nonsense. I just had to make an example of someone for the sake of the book giveaway. You understand…right?
(Note to self: If Angi sends me a package anytime soon, it might be best to let someone else open it.)
;-) 2.5.09 at 11:58 am:
I am afraid to leave any subsequent comments due to an (I feel) completely rational fear that I might be disqualified from the aforementioned contest.
This comment does not count!!
;-) 2.5.09 at 12:03 pm:
@Angi: Don’t be afraid. My regular readers would have to do something REALLY bad to be disqualified from the contest. For example, if they said tuna was good but onions, mushrooms and shrimp were bad. Or if they said the Seahawks and Mariners were better than the Falcons and Braves. Or if they went back on t heir promise to let me cook them grits. And so on and so on.
But you wouldn’t do anything crazy like that. Would you, Ang?
;-) 2.5.09 at 12:05 pm:
Um…no comprende.
;-) 2.5.09 at 12:28 pm:
@Angi: I’ll let it slide this once, but speaking in a foreign language will also lead to disqualification. But seriously…don’t worry about it! Be yourself.
Just remember not to say anything I don’t like.
;-) 2.5.09 at 1:44 pm:
Dang it! I’m already waaaay behind Angi! And it has me so flustered that I can’t think of anything but nonsense! I don’t do well under pressure.
I want that book, though. It’s good to be all-around financially literate, I always say. Plus, I’ll loan it out for free to other people in my town and refer them to your site. Whenever I quote something from the book I will again bring it around to SKOS.
;-) 2.5.09 at 1:49 pm:
If Angi sends you a package in the mail, I’d be willing to take one for the team and open it up for you.
;-) 2.5.09 at 2:13 pm:
@Erin: Don’t worry about being behind. I have five books to give away and Angi can only win one of them (assuming she’s one of the winners).
Hmmm. So you’re saying if you win you’ll use the book as a way to bring more visitors to my site. Interesting. Would you tell these people that I’m handsome? I like it when people say I’m handsome.
@Diana: Are you saying that because you have a death wish (assuming she might send me a bomb), because you want whatever she sends me for yourself (assuming she sends something nice), or because you’re trying to get in good with me so you can read a book?
;-) 2.5.09 at 3:41 pm:
Kevin, I will not only tell them you’re handsome, I will tell them you’re Awesomely Handsome, Extremely Gifted, and anything else you would like me to pass on.
;-) 2.5.09 at 7:09 pm:
@kev: I have to admit, reading the title of the book made me laugh out
loud. I particularly enjoyed the subtitle “Getting ahead when you’re
left behind”. Classic!
I mostly read serious nonfiction but hey! This sounds like it’d be
good for a few laughs.
And you made the right choice in giving the book away. Let the
readers decide if they love it or if they’ll be putting in their next
yard sale. At least you’ll know you’ve done your duty.
;-) 2.5.09 at 7:50 pm:
Yeah, the front of this book reminds me of the movie “Spaceballs”. Wow. I don’t know why…maybe it’s the comedic way that those dollar signs are falling from the sky. Anyway, may the Farce be with Me.
;-) 2.5.09 at 8:31 pm:
@Erin: Now you’re speaking my language!
@Josh: Yeah, if nothing else, the book’s title warrants a thumb’s up. Glad you think giving it away is a good idea. If a winner doesn’t like it, they can just sell it. That’s the FRUGAL thing to do.
@Audrey: I remember that movie. Dark Helmet, Pizza the Hut…I suddenly feel the need to watch it again! Whatever happened to Rick Moranis anyway?
;-) 2.5.09 at 9:09 pm:
Who knows! John Candy played Barf though..hilarious. Remember the flying Winnebago?!? And Bill Pullman as Lone Starr..!!! LOL!
;-) 2.5.09 at 9:24 pm:
No, I actually care enough about your well-being to save you from whatever present she would send.
Books? Who reads those things?
;-) 2.5.09 at 9:45 pm:
I fear the possible results of this comment, but the topic was waaaaaay too good to pass up.
I don’t think I want/need a copy of the book, but I had to chime in with Angi about the authors’ names. Steve and Evie Levy. I can’t even look at that without singing it out in my head. Poor bums. Think what they must go through on a regular basis. And then, as comic writers? HAHAHA Their peers must LOVE them!
Now onto the subject matter. Having already been left behind, would getting ahead merely place them on at an even level with the people who out-paced them to begin with? Honestly, can I say that this book is a how to return to the status quo guide? Or, seeing the blasphemous and somewhat sinful nature of the guide, perhaps it actually puts them even further behind the remnant.
Thoughts?
;-) 2.5.09 at 10:35 pm:
I might send something nice and girly if I know Diana’s going to be the one opening it…or maybe I’ll send something girly anyway…BWAHAHAH.
Gianna – Yesssss Steve and Evie Levy…
;-) 2.5.09 at 10:49 pm:
@Audrey: Ah yes, I remember Barf. And the flying Winnebago. And a young Bill Pullman. Man, that was a crazy movie. Of course, as a kid, I just thought the name of the movie was funny. Kids.
@Diana: Why, that’s very nice of you. I hope you don’t mind, but if Angi ever sends me food I’m going to ask you to taste it. I fear I have angered her.
@gianna: That’s a very good point. The people left behind aren’t getting ahead as much as they’re just trying to catch up. And, as you said, given the nature of the book, by trying to catch up they’re really just falling farther and farther behind. Gosh, you’re deep.
@Angi: You’re going to send me something GIRLY? Fine, I’ll send you something manly. Hello Three Stooges DVD. Hello Old Spice cologne. Hello Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Magazine. Hello protective sports cup.
That’s right. I’m devious.
;-) 2.5.09 at 11:14 pm:
There’s certainly a level of irony here: a book about profiting from “the coming rapture” that ostensibly, if counter-intuitively, should be poised to turn its own author a “tidy profit” based on its subject (that’s like holding a mirror up to a mirror, isn’t it?) is actually being given away, and hence not benefiting the author. So a book *not really* about profiting from the rapture is *not really* turning a profit…
;-) 2.6.09 at 12:12 am:
I think there’s some here NOW trying to profit off the end-times (of the US economy) before they get left behind. Who needs to wait for the Rapture? Just get elected to Congress.
AND…. tuna IS good. With onions.
;-) 2.6.09 at 12:35 am:
Hmm. Three Stooges DVD would be good as a coaster. I actually really like Old Spice, so I wouldn’t mind having a bottle of that around to take a whiff from every so often. SI swimsuit issue would be GREAT motivation for me to go to the gym 7 days a week instead of my usual 4 or 5. Protective sports cup, GREAT White Elephant gift should I ever be conned into going to one of those types of parties.
I second Angie (minus the onions, add some pickles and celery).
;-) 2.6.09 at 7:13 am:
Ok I totally feel that I must have that book. I read all the ones in the Left Behind series, so I feel that I’m pretty caught up in that area…. lol…
I pick number 7. Just in case your random number thing doesn’t work.
;-) 2.6.09 at 10:46 am:
@Steve: Amazingly, I understood everything you said. Haha. It would appear the only person profiting from this book are me (in theory, this giveaway should help my blog’s traffic) and the winners (worst case they can sell the book and make a few bucks). I’m okay with this arrangement.
@Angie: Maybe I’ll get elected to Congress one day. That would be sweet.
I like onions, but tuna? No thank you!
@Angi: You can’t use a Three Stooges DVD as a coaster. That’s uncool. And yes, I’m aware of your liking Old Spice. Dang. Is there a cologne you DON’T like? I’ll send that instead. Well, if you would find the SI swimsuit issue as great gym motivation, why don’t I send you some issues of Maxim, too? I know how much you LOVE that magazine. And I have no idea what a great white elephant gift is. You’ll have to explain that one to me.
And tuna is evil, Ang. You know this.
@Corrina: Seven is one of God’s favorite numbers. Excellent choice!
;-) 2.6.09 at 12:00 pm:
You’ve never heard of a white elephant gift???? Seriously????
Behold. Yes, it’s work friendly.
;-) 2.6.09 at 12:39 pm:
@Angi: Nope! I had never heard of that before. You’re right…that would make a great white elephant gift.
You’re so smart.
;-) 2.6.09 at 1:46 pm:
Kev. Dude. Come join the living world. Everyone you know (that is, everyone I know you know) has been to a white elephant party, so I’m sure you’ve been invited some time in your life. But party pooper Kev probably just thought to himself, “Hmm, I think they said something about ‘party. As in, you know, social interaction. But I’ve got so much to do: Braves are on, and afterwards they’re showing The Postman. And I gotta be up by 10 to start FX’s Buffy marathon. Oh, crap! When am I ever going to finish that Dave Ramsey book?! Yeah, I suppose they and their albino pachyderm (what strange friends I have) will just have to muddle on without me.”
;-) 2.6.09 at 2:15 pm:
LOL…Steve…
;-) 2.6.09 at 8:09 pm:
@Steve: Nope, unless I have amnesia, I have never been invited to a white elephant party. However, I’m pretty sure I have thought what you wrote at some point in my life. Get out of my head, man.
@Angi: Hush you.
;-) 2.7.09 at 12:26 am:
I’ve never been invited to a white elephant party, either – even BEFORE I became a recluse. What am I missing?
And dude, tuna ROCKS. What is so evil about a fish in a can? Throw a little Miracle Whip on it, and it negates any perceived evil (I prefer MW to mayo, but that’s just me, although I think it actually does have evil-repellent powers).
Angi: I’ve never tried my tuna with pickles and celery. I might have to try that. I love pickles.
;-) 2.7.09 at 12:51 am:
Kev — Sorry.
Angie — Okay, here’s what you do – tuna, Miracle Whip (heck yes, girlfriend!), pickles, a little chopped celery (more for crunch than anything), mix it up and put it on some really good whole-grain bread with some lettuce and tomato slices. Magic. Pure magic.
;-) 2.7.09 at 1:21 am:
Talk about a tuna fish sandwich in top hat and tails! Whoo wee! My aunt could dress up a bologna sandwich into magic just like you… I tell ya… Only thing is, I might have to leave out the celery – no teeth to take care of the crunch. I also love a good tuna casserole, baked with a breading on top that has celery (cooked) and yummy tuna goodness underneath. Man, now I’m hungry.
;-) 2.7.09 at 11:02 am:
Angi, my mouth is watering! I haven’t had a tuna sandwich in ages. Kev, maybe you should have a tuna sandwich when you eat your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Make sort of a sandwich party or something.
;-) 2.7.09 at 2:39 pm:
Angie — Ah well, the celery isn’t really that necessary, it’ll be just as good without it!! Tuna casserole is amazing, and so are tuna turnovers – buy a can of Pillsbury regular buttermilk biscuits, roll those out so they’re bigger circles, mix up a bowl of tuna, a little mayo, shredded cheddar and celery (it cooks), put a big old spoonful in the middle of that biscuit and fold it over itself so it’s like a half-moon shape with all the filling inside, bake at 350 for 15ish minutes…mmm.
Erin — I vote you make yourself a tuna sandwich this weekend AND a PBJ with grape jelly and get caught up on all those comfort foods!
Kev — See, don’t you feel you’re missing out on this tuna train??
;-) 2.7.09 at 4:15 pm:
@Angie: I’m glad to see I’m not the only one to have never been to a white elephant party. I was beginning to get a complex.
Explaining what makes tuna evil is like explaining why Rosie O’Donnell is annoying. She just is!
@Erin: Having a PBJ is one thing. But a tuna sandwich? I’d rather die. Seriously. Tuna is pure, concentrated evil!
@Angi: Um, I’m HAPPY I am missing the tuna train! I hear the train smells…LIKE TUNA!!
;-) 2.10.09 at 6:43 pm:
A shameless attempt to get a record number of comments. My hat’s off to you sir. Indeed you are truly brilliant.
;-) 2.11.09 at 5:03 pm:
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;-) 2.13.09 at 10:13 pm:
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;-) 2.17.09 at 11:12 am:
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