I'm a cypher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kev and I own this here website.
Today, boys and girls, we’re going to play a game. I call it the “Kevin cannot think of anything interesting to blog about today, so he’s taking Angi’s advice and listing fifteen ‘facts’ about himself and then seeing if his readers can pick out which ones are true and which ones are fake” game.
What’s that? You’ve never heard of that game? Hmmm. I guess that means you aren’t cool. All the cool kids play this game. Yep. In fact, I heard Johnny Depp, Kristen Bell and that dog from the show Frasier we’re all playing it just the other day.
Now, let’s begin!
1. As a freshman in college, the only decoration I had on my dorm walls was a single Alanis Morrisette poster.
2. I once met and had a cup of coffee with one of the girls who sent me a marriage proposal via my blog.
3. My next cigarette will be my first cigarette.
4. During the first two months at my current job, I was hit on by our secretary and our cleaning lady.
5. I had never before been on a plane until the age of 28. On my first flight, I was seated next to two cute girls who had just graduated from Auburn, were on their way to a wedding, and who thought it was “adorable” I had never before flown. One of them asked me to be her date to the wedding. It was the best first flight in the history of first flights.
6. As a teenager, I failed the test for my driver’s license. Three times.
7. Of the ten readers currently listed in the Top Commentators (?) This Month section of my sidebar, I have met two of them in person.
8. I had my first beer at the age of 28. My first thought after sipping it was, “Mom was right — it does taste like cow pee.”
9. The first rock album I ever listened to was America’s Least Wanted by Ugly Kid Joe.
10. Since I did not yet have my driver’s license, my date — the future homecoming queen — had to drive us to our junior prom.
11. The last movie I went to see in theaters was Lady in the Water in July 2006.
12. I e-mail, chat online and text message the same way I blog or fill out professional paperwork: with proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. Even when I’m text messaging in a hurry.
13. Every time the stock market plummets, I buy some stock.
14. The last fight I was in was during eighth grade. A boy nicknamed “Stick” tried to bully me one day. Apparently, “Stick” was unaware his nickname was given to him due to his stick-like physique.
15. I loathe briefs and despise boxers. However, I think boxer briefs rule.
And there you have it. Wasn’t that fun? I had fun. Did you have fun?
So, think you know which ones are real and which ones are fake? Well then, smarty pants, leave a comment with your answers. I’ll even make it worth your while…
I have in my possession fourteen Arby’s coupons that do not expire until the end of the month. That’s right. I’ll give these bad boys to whoever gets the most correct answers.
You want a toasted sub for $2.99? I got your toasted sub for $2.99 right here. You want a chocolate or vanilla jamocha shake for 99 cents? I’m holding in my lovely (but manly) hands just such a coupon. You want four Arby’s Melts for $5? My friend, this is your lucky day. I’ve got that one and many, many more.
“But Kev, how can your frugal brain allow you to give away so many wicked awesome coupons?”
Let me worry about my brain. You worry about getting the correct answers!
Best of luck, everyone. This contest is tentatively scheduled to end a week from today. To make sure no one tries to cheat, you may comment as many times as you like, but you can only guess once.
Also, don’t forget about the book giveaway. The contest ends tomorrow and I’ll announce the winners on Friday.
I’m such a giver.
;-) 2.11.09 at 5:07 pm:
A note to all who think I might be delusional:
Yes, I realize the prize is lame. That’s kind of the joke.
;-) 2.11.09 at 5:14 pm:
Dude, those Jamocha shakes at Arby’s are the best. Assuming the winner is in love – IN LOVE – with fast food, that’s a pretty good prize.
I don’t, however, believe it is fair for me to guess in this contest, since I’m 100% sure I know the answers to almost all of these, and on the few I’m slightly unsure of, I’m still 99.7% sure.
;-) 2.11.09 at 5:24 pm:
@Angi: Haha. I’m sure the other contestants thank you.
Okay, people. This race is WIDE open now. Let’s see those answers. Glancing down at my desk, I see a coupon for a 99 cent Pepperidge Farm Turnover and another coupon for a $3.99 chopped salad. Don’t ever Uncle Kev never did anything nice for you…
;-) 2.11.09 at 5:26 pm:
You’re all welcome. It would almost be like guessing facts about my mom. But not exactly…
;-) 2.11.09 at 5:56 pm:
That’s too long of a list for me to pick through but I loved them and can’t wait to find out which ones were true. I LOVED the movie Lady in the Water, by the way. You’re welcome for that information. lol
;-) 2.11.09 at 6:17 pm:
They are all true. Every one of them is exactly how I imagine you.
;-) 2.11.09 at 7:11 pm:
Well now, since you brought roast beef into it.
1. Fake.
2. Fake..
3. True.
4. Fake.
5. Fake. But great story!
6. Fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. (ala Elaine in Seinfeld. Do you know the episode?)
7. Hmmm, fake?
8. Fake. You went to college. Not possible.
9. True.
10. Fake.
11. True.
12. True (and I do that too!)
13. TRUE!
14. True.
15. Fake. I think you like to go commando.
Do I win?
;-) 2.11.09 at 9:12 pm:
Hmm, I say #3, only because you said your NEXT cigarette. So if it was your next cigarette, then there would have had to be a first cigarette. Right? Did I solve the mystery??
Or do I need to go back to bed and get more sleep?
;-) 2.11.09 at 9:59 pm:
FAKE ONES: 2, 6, 13
NOW GIMME DEM COUPONS!!! I needs a Jamocha shake like yesterday. This Daniel fast is killing me.
I’m not afraid to kill for food right now.
;-) 2.11.09 at 11:35 pm:
Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh.
;-) 2.11.09 at 11:46 pm:
several quick observations
One, how’d i get kicked off the top commentators list! everyone needs to stop the multiple comments to one post thing till i get back on the favorites list!
Two, here’s my guess
1. true, to work on your ironic decorating capabilities, no doubt
2. true
3. true
4. true, oh don’t be modest now. we know that’s not the complete list
5. true
6. true
7. true
8. true, but for cripes sake, why were you going around drinking cow pee before you got to the beer? i mean, don’t get me wrong, beer’s DISGUSTING, but i’d still drink that before i started in on the stock-piled bovine urine….
9. fake
10. hahaha TRUE
11. gosh i really hope this is fake.
12. true
13. fake
14. true the story’s just too weird to be made up
15. hmm i’m going with Kathy on the commando preference.
;-) 2.12.09 at 10:49 am:
@Angi: Did you seriously just compare me to your mother??
@Corrina: Oh, come on. You should guess! This contest doesn’t close for another six days.
@Sarah: Now, now…they can’t ALL be true. Guess for real.
@Kathy: Thanks for playing! Commando? Seriously?? We’ll have to wait until next week to see how well you did. Well, *I* won’t have to wait…I already know.
@Diana: Haha. I think you need more sleep.
@Josh: Thanks for playing! Are you really on the Daniel fast? That must be fun.
@Angi (again): So, someone seems to enjoying herself. What do you think of the guesses so far?
@gianna: Haha. Thanks for playing. Regarding #4, I admit to nothing! And seriously…commando? What kind of guy do you think I am?!
;-) 2.12.09 at 11:06 am:
I think people are doing pretty well, which makes me think they either 1) have great memories or 2) are just lucky guessers.
I suppose they could 3) be psychic but I kind of doubt that’s the case.
;-) 2.12.09 at 11:06 am:
My mother is a great lady!!!
;-) 2.12.09 at 11:26 am:
1. True- you were showing your sensitive side.
2. False- you met her for lunch.
3. False- but you’ve only had a few before.
4. False- it wasn’t the cleaning lady, but the cleaning man.
5. False- that has got to be from a movie.
6. True- and it felt horrible at the time, but you studied hard and finally passed and felt a true sense of accomplishment, thus setting yourself up for future successes.
7. False- only 1.
8. False- it wasn’t beer, it really was cow pee.
9. True- this is not one of the future successes from #6.
10. False- you only wish the reason was because you didn’t have your license.
11. True- you are far too important to be out of communication in a theater for 2 hours.
12. True- me too (except for capitalization).
13. False- not every time. But you are tempted.
14. Trick question- although that was the last fight, it’s phrased in a misleading way as to suggest that “Stick” lost. He didn’t.
15. True- and your color preference is black.
;-) 2.12.09 at 2:22 pm:
1,2,6,7,11: Fake.
;-) 2.12.09 at 7:23 pm:
Ok, I’ll play.
1. True, although I don’t think it was yours.
2. False, unless it was Angi- lol.
3. True.
4. I’m going with true.
5. False.
6. False. You’re too smart for that.
7. True.
8. False.
9. True.
10. False. Unless 6 is true- then true. lol
11. True.
12. True.
13. False.
14. True.
15. True, because they do.
I really hope I win because I’m feelin’ beefy!
;-) 2.13.09 at 3:18 pm:
Hmm, good guess Corrina, but considering we live about 2500 miles apart, it would be kind of silly to JUST meet for a cup of coffee.
LOL
;-) 2.13.09 at 7:21 pm:
Ok, Angi – You got me there. But *maybe* you had a LOT of coffee.
lol
;-) 2.13.09 at 9:55 pm:
Corrina — Hahaha, and maybe a biscotti or something, too.
;-) 2.17.09 at 1:07 pm:
Let me first say, Johnny Depp and I play this game all the time. Together, I mean. We both give clues and we take turns with the guessing part. As it should be. Were I in a divulge-atory mood I might divulge more on this subject, but Johnny so values his privacy (and our private moments together in particular) that I believe I shall decline to elaborate. Suffice it to say, Johnny’s great fun to play with. Yes, he is.
OK uhm you’re not going to believe this (or maybe you are) but I believe I received the email “feed” (pun intended) for this SKOS post on 2/12/09, which happens to be the day I reported at my dentist’s office at 9:30 a.m., was put under amnesia-inducing “conscious sedation” (which is such a joke because I assure you, I was UNconsciously sedated … I should know because I’m always conscious (unless I’m asleep) but rarely sedate, you can ask anyone, and this was totally different … and remember (haha) that “amnesia” part? They really meant that), and submitted to three and one half hours’ worth of dental procedures. I already had a nice smile but it’s really gonna rule now.
Anyway, one thing I SORT OF remember about that day is getting an Arby’s jamocha shake on the way home because I had not eaten anything except a swallow of water (for the valium) in over sixteen hours. TG assures me we did actually stop at Arby’s for shakes and I did really drink a jamocha one, although I have only a vague memory of trying to get the yumminess of the shake into my sore mouth which was still numb, through a floppy straw too flimsy to drink air from.
Anyhow, as a result I did not see this post and that’s why I am only now showing up in SKOS-land and will at this time attempt to get the answers correct so that I can win the coupon for a jamocha shake that I might actually remember drinking.
1. True. If memory serves, you have told this on yourself before. Personally I would not know this woman if she walked up and bit me on the nose. I would like to keep it that way.
2. False. For some reason I cannot imagine you doing this, Kev.
3. True. I hope. And in this case I hope there is NOT a first time for everything. By the way, Johnny told me to tell everyone that he has quit smoking. Now when he wants a cigarette, he kisses my hand.
4. False. Oh please … you expect us to believe a secretary hit on you? LOL
5. True. This just sounds to me like a slice of your awesome life, Kev.
6. False. No way you failed that test three times!
7. True. Sounds possible … even probable. I guess. I’m not getting a very good vibe on this one, for some reason. But I can picture it.
8. False. No way has your mother ever tasted cow tinkle.
9. True. False. Maybe. I don’t know. Let’s go with True.
10. False. No way.
11. True. False. Maybe. I don’t know. Let’s go with True.
12. True. I can envision that.
13. False.
14. True. Poor Stick.
15. False. True. I have no idea and do not want to think about it. Let’s go with False.
;-) 2.17.09 at 5:45 pm:
Okay I’m going to try again, because I thought only ONE was fake. Yes, I don’t follow directions.
False: 3, 6, 11, 13
Keeping my fingers crossed! :X
;-) 2.19.09 at 4:16 pm:
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