It’s time to find out the results for the Arby’s Coupon Contest (Otherwise known as the “Kevin cannot think of anything interesting to blog about today, so he’s taking Angi’s advice and listing fifteen ‘facts’ about himself and then seeing if his readers can pick out which ones are true and which ones are fake” contest).

Below are the fifteen questions and the correct answers.

1. As a freshman in college, the only decoration I had on my dorm walls was a single Alanis Morrisette poster.

Answer: Sadly, this is true. After graduating high school, someone gave me an Alanis Morriesette poster and I brought it with me to college. One day, after having been in the dorm for weeks, I looked around and noticed how naked my walls were. So, I looked for something I could hang on my walls. The Alanis poster was all I could find. I realize this doesn’t make what I did right, but at least understand why I did it.

2. I once met and had a cup of coffee with one of the girls who sent me a marriage proposal via my blog.

Answer: Nope, this one is false. While I have before met someone who discovered me via my blog, this female had not proposed marriage to me. No, the marriage talk didn’t come for several weeks after our meeting.

3. My next cigarette will be my first cigarette.

Answer: True. I have never smoked a cigarette (or anything else, for that matter) in my life. And no, I don’t think I’m better than anyone who HAS or DOES smoke. I just have better lung capacity, that’s all.

4. During the first two months at my current job, I was hit on by our secretary and our cleaning lady.

Answer: This would be true. The secretary, who was in her 20s, would send me chit-chat emails during the day. At first, I thought she was just being polite. But I knew for certain what was going on when my 40-something-year-old boss came into my office and, in a very high school moment, asked me if I knew our secretary liked me. Apparently, he had heard her saying some stuff about me to people. The cleaning lady, also in her 20s, was a bit more direct. While vacuuming my room one day she asked me if I was single and then gave me a piece of paper with her phone number on it.

5. I had never before been on a plane until the age of 28. On my first flight, I was seated next to two cute girls who had just graduated from Auburn, were on their way to a wedding, and who thought it was “adorable” I had never before flown. One of them asked me to be her date to the wedding. It was the best first flight in the history of first flights.

Answer: True. If I had know flying was so awesome, I’d have done it much sooner.

6. As a teenager, I failed the test for my driver’s license. Three times.

Answer: Believe it or not, this is true. Unlike most teenagers, I had no desire to drive. At 15, I did not get my learner’s permit. At 16, I didn’t attempt to get my driver’s license. No, instead, I waited until I had a date for my junior prom (see #10). At the age of 17, with prom three months away, I quickly got my learner’s permit. I then hurriedly began learning how to drive. I was not a fast learner. And during those three months I failed my driving test three times. The first time was due to several minor things, which wasn’t much a surprise considering I’d only been driving a few weeks. The second time I had a perfect score, but at the last stop sign the tester told me I didn’t come to a complete stop, which is an automatic failure. The third time I failed, despite having a perfect score, because the tester was not buckled. I asked him to buckle, but he told me not to worry about it. Apparently, I was supposed to INSIST he buckle up. The guy tricked me.

7. Of the ten readers currently listed in the Top Commentators (?) This Month section of my sidebar, I have met two of them in person.

Answer: True. I know two of the individuals in my “top commentators” section, and I see them regularly.

8. I had my first beer at the age of 28. My first thought after sipping it was, “Mom was right — it does taste like cow pee.”

Answer: This would be true. I did not have a beer until age 28. My ex-girlfriend and I, along with her parents, brother and sister, visited her grandmother at a lakeside cabin one weekend. The only things they had to drink were water and beer. So, I had a beer. I did not like it. And no, neither me nor my mom know what cow pee tastes like. It’s an expression. I heard it from my mom. She heard it from a friend, who may or may not have ever tasted cow pee.

9. The first rock album I ever listened to was America’s Least Wanted by Ugly Kid Joe.

Answer: Yep, true. As an eight grader my friend, Shazad (I think that’s how he spelled his name), loaned me a cassette tape of Ugly Kid Joe. The album, long forgotten by anyone without a sponge of a brain, featured a cover of Cat Stevens’ Cats in the Cradle. It’s actually a pretty decent song.

10. Since I did not yet have my driver’s license, my date — the future homecoming queen — had to drive us to our junior prom.

Answer: Sadly, this is true. Because I kept failing my driving test, I did not have my license before the prom. So, my date had to drive us. Now, is it kind of cool to be able to say the homecoming queen drove me to our prom? I guess. But that coolness is offset when I inevitably have to explain why she had to drive me!

11. The last movie I went to see in theaters was Lady in the Water in July 2006.

Answer: This is true. One, I don’t go to the theaters very often anyway. I much prefer renting a DVD and watching it at home. But two, watching that movie in theaters was torture. The place was packed with teens and college students who WOULD NOT SHUT UP. They laughed whenever the lead character stuttered. They laughed at serious, emotional scenes. They talked nonstop. It. Was. Torture.

12. I e-mail, chat online and text message the same way I blog or fill out professional paperwork: with proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. Even when I’m text messaging in a hurry.

Answer: Yep, true. Early on, back in my America Online days, I quickly learned there were only two ways to separate yourself from the morons online and actually make yourself appear intelligent: type fast and type well. So, whenever I talk on instant messenger, I used proper spelling and grammar. I do the same in emails. And once I got into text messaging, I did the same with texting. My name is Kevin, and I use proper spelling and grammar.

13. Every time the stock market plummets, I buy some stock.

Answer: This is true, but it was a poorly worded question. I don’t buy stock WHENEVER the market goes down. But whenever it takes a beating and reaches a certain “buy worthy” level, I buy. So, if the Dow goes down 300 points in a single day, it’s a safe bet that I bought some stock at the close of business.

14. The last fight I was in was during eighth grade. A boy nicknamed “Stick” tried to bully me one day. Apparently, “Stick” was unaware his nickname was given to him due to his stick-like physique.

Answer: True. I had glasses at the time and was not yet a varsity athlete, so good ol’ Stick picked a fight with me one day in P.E. class while the teacher was away. In a large group of classmates, he pushed me twice. I then punched him twice in the face. Stick never bothered me again and, to his credit, surmised that he picked on the wrong kid whenever someone teased him about the fight. On the bright side, I never had to deal with bullies after that day.

15. I loathe briefs and despise boxers. However, I think boxer briefs rule.

Answer: 100% true. Boxer briefs are the best. The. Best. To those of you who guessed that I go “commando,” what kind of guy do you think I am??

Yes, for those keeping score, only ONE of the items was false. The rest were true. Now, I did not do this on purpose. When I originally began writing the post, I wanted to have 7 or 8 true ones and 7 or 8 false ones. But once I began writing I forgot all about it. It wasn’t until the next day that it dawned on me all except one of my “facts” were, indeed, factual!

But that doesn’t much matter anymore. What’s done is done. The only thing the matters now is…

WHO WON?!

As announced, the winner will receive fourteen Arby’s coupons that do not expire until the end of the month. The winner will also receive bragging rights, and those never expire.

So, let’s look at the results. The number of correct choices are in parentheses:

Josh (13)
Erin (11)
Corrina (10)
Diana (10)
gianna (10)
Jenny (9)
Kathy (7)
Sarah (7)
Allison (1)

Thank you to everyone who participated!

I would be amiss if I didn’t mention that Angi, since she thought it would be unfair to everyone else, did not participate in the contest. Way to be altruistic, Ang.

I would also be amiss if I didn’t tease Allison for only getting one correct answer. Were you even trying, Allison? Geesh.

I think that since Josh, the winner, knows me in real life, he might have had a slight advantage in the contest. So, with his blessing, I am splitting the coupons between him and Erin.

Okay, boys and girls. That’s all for now. I’ll see what I can get my hands on to give away next.

Perhaps I’ll find a rock on the ground?