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Vasectomies, Daylight Savings and Stupid People
March 9, 2009
Blog
12

A few quick news and notes from Awesome City, USA.

Stupid People and the “Reply to All” Button

As I began writing this blog post, I received an e-mail at work about submitting proposals, a project of some sort, and other technical mumbo jumbo. It didn’t appear to apply to me at all, so I just ignored it.

Ten seconds later I received an e-mail from someone that says, “I was sent this e-mail by mistake, please remove me from your distribution list.”

Four seconds later I received another e-mail saying the same thing (with different wording, of course).

Five seconds later I received another e-mail like this.

Then another.

Then another.

In a span of one minute, I received 30+ e-mails from employees at my company who had received the same e-mail as me, and had clicked “Reply to All” to inform the sender he/she had sent his/her e-mail to the wrong people. Of course, by clicking “Reply to All” instead of just “Reply”, these people were sending their “remove me from your list” pleas to EVERYONE.

Within the next minute I received about 20 more such e-mails. My head was beginning to hurt from the stupidity. But then something even stupider began to happen.

People who were getting fed up with the onslaught of “you sent me this by mistake” e-mails in their inbox began to take action.

“Everyone, stop hitting ‘Reply to All!!!’ You’re flooding my inbox,” one person wrote.

“Why are all of you Replying to All?? Don’t you realize you are sending your e-mails to EVERYONE?,” another person wrote.

And then another person sent a similar e-mail.

Then another.

Then another.

Over the next five minutes, 70+ people sent “Stop replying to all!” e-mails.

These geniuses, in an effort to stop people from replying to all when sending their e-mails, were replying to all. They wanted to stop the flooding of everyone’s inboxes, but merely flooded them more.

The first one or two people who did this get a pass. They tried to end the madness and knew they had to tell EVERYONE in order for the madness to stop. But what about the 5th guy? The 10th guy? The 50th guy?

What were these morons smoking?

It’s like a 30-car pileup on the interstate. An accident happens and the cars immediately behind are unable to stop, so they rear end the vehicles in front of them. The cars immediately behind these cars then rear end them. The first 10 or 15 cars involved, depending on the size of the accident, can’t really be blamed. It all happened too fast for them to react.

But what about the 16th car? He sees the wreckage in front of him, has time to slam on the breaks, and yet he inexplicably drives right into the cars in front of him. Ditto the 17th car. And the 18th car. And the 19th.

By the time the 30th and final car rear ends the 29th car, five minutes has gone by since the initial accident. The drivers of these last few cars should be forbidden from ever reproducing. And whatever idiots deemed them worthy of driver’s licenses should be publicly flogged.

I say all this to say that the next person who sends a “reply to all” e-mail for this particular topic should immediately have a vasectomy or their tubes tied.

And then they should be flogged.

Thank God for Friends

The words “spring forward” hurt my head.

While I was able to avoid any mishaps this year thanks to a friend who e-mailed me a reminder on Saturday, long-time readers (or readers who have gone back through my archives) know that Daylight Savings Time is not my friend.

(For those who had no clue, check out 2007′s You’ve Bested Me Again, Daylight Savings Time and 2008′s Take THAT Daylight Savings Time!)

Still, the Monday after “spring forward” is dreadful. And, since the cleaning crew is mopping the kitchen at the moment, I’ve yet to have any coffee.

To quote the great Dave Nelson: “You know, I’m not sure what exactly it is that caffeine does for you, but I’m pretty sure without it your head caves in.”

Hi, Justin. Ready for Your Vasectomy?

Almost an hour after the initial e-mail and a good thirty minutes since anyone else had responded, a man named Justin has sent a “reply to all” requesting to be removed from the mailing list.

Justin, this is gonna hurt…

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