Before I begin my live blog and commence with the usual silliness, I want to let you guys know about a very important thing Angi is doing over at her site, We Sleep for Dreaming.

Click here to read about Jesse, a U.S. Marine and old friend of Angi’s who has just been sent to Iraq. Jesse had to leave behind his 3-year-old daughter and is currently in need of support and encouragement.

To quote Angi: “I don’t care how you feel about the war, those men and women are over there fighting on our behalf, sacrificing their friends, sacrificing their families, sacrificing the comforts of home, and sometimes sacrificing their lives, just to make this world a better place for everyone here, and everyone over there.”

A huge, huge amen.

Head on over to WSFD and read about Jesse and see what you can do to support him and his friends.

8:01 AM

What compelled Obama to go on The Tonight Show and speak to Jay Leno without his precious teleprompter to tell him what to say is beyond me. Of course, what do you want to bet his “special olympics” remark is quickly forgotten? If Bush had said it he’d have been tarred and feathered.

10:59 AM

Some of the following is true. Some of it’s made up for comedic effect. Can you tell which is which? Let’s see.

For the first time in close to six months, I got a haircut over the weekend. Yes, my hair was quite long. Whether or not this was a good look on me depends on whom you ask. And by that I mean if you asked my youngest sister, she’d tell you it was awesome. If you asked anyone else, they would have agreed to help you shave my head in my sleep. But I digress.

When I walked inside the hair place, I recognized the employee who greeted me and wrote down my information. I used to work with her. I remember this because, despite the fact she’s two decades my senior and married, she once hit on me at a homecoming football game. I’m not sure if she recognized me or not. But, again, I digress.

Despite the fact four people appeared to be ahead of me in line, a girl walks up and says, “You don’t have to bother sitting down. I can take you now.”

Said girl looked to be in her mid-twenties. She had dark, dark brown hair and was very tanned. She had a pierced nose with a tiny diamond you could barely see, and a tattoo on her wrist. I’d categorize her as cute.

She asks me what kind of haircut I wanted. I replied that I wanted all of this — as I pointed to my inexplicably-long hair — to go away. She laughed and I gave her a bit more specific instructions. I wanted the length completely gone. I wanted it cleaned up around my ears, but that I didn’t mind if hair touched my ears. And so on and so on.

She got to work and the smalltalk commenced. She asked me why I was cutting off all my hair. I made some reference to the hot weather. She asked me what I did for a living. I told her and then added a sarcastic, “It’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds.”

A little later, I asked about her tattoo. I couldn’t tell if it was a bird, a dragon or a half-bird-half dragon. It turned out just to be a bird. She asked me if I had any tattoos. I jokingly told her that she would know the answer in a minute after she’d cut off all my hair and could clearly see my neck (implying I had a tattoo on the back of my neck).

This was probably an unwise thing to do considering the girl had scissors in her hands and could either butcher my hair or — worse — maim me. Thankfully, she saw the humor in it and — after seeing nothing was on my neck — replied with a laugh and a, “So I guess this means the answer is no, you don’t have any tattoos.”

Soon thereafter my haircut was over, I gave the girl a nice tip, and I was on my way.

What?

Did you expect a non-anticlimactic ending?

11:55 AM

I apologize in advance for these. I’m going to think of the most ridiculous things Obama could have said in the interview and turn them into comics. If you have a good one, just leave me a comment and I’ll bring it to life!

12:23 PM

And a very big apology for this one…

1:21 PM

You knew it was only a matter of time before I did a Kenya-Obama comic…

2:17 PM

At last, the real reason Barack never bothered campaigning in Alaska is revealed.

3:31 PM

The stock market is up 400 points today (as of this writing) due to Timothy Geithner’s latest (or is this the same pig as before, but with more lipstick?) to help out the banks. As usual, this bump in the Dow proves investors are extremely fickle — and probably stupid.

So, Timmy, the government — i.e. we taxpayers — we’ll be flipping the bill for all this, eh? Instead of the banks having these bad debts, the taxpayers will have them??

Color me unimpressed, Timmy. If I see you on the playground later, you’re getting a mega-wedgie.