On Yahoo’s homepage is a teaser about some “huge stars” set to appear in the Farrelly brothers’ long-rumored movie about “The Three Stooges.”

Intrigued, I clicked on the link and read the article.

Are you kidding me?

Jim Carrey as Curly?

Sean Penn as Larry?

Benicio del Toro as Moe?

Carrey, I suppose, could be a good Curly. It’s an entirely uninspired casting decision, but he’ll probably be fine.

Penn is a good actor, but there is nothing I like about him as a human being. His politics are to the far, far, FAR left of mine. When he was younger, he routinely assaulted paparazzi who had the audacity to try to take his photograph. Just last year, he visited Cuba and interviewed Fidel Castro. And perhaps worst of all, he used to be married to Madonna. When I see him in a movie I think, “There is that punk, Sean Penn.” He would completely ruin a Three Stooges movie for me. I’d keep hoping “Larry” would somehow die, and that’s so not what a person should be thinking while watching The Three Stooges.

And then there is Benicio del Toro. I realize “Moe” was more or less the straight man in the Stooges, but come on. Benicio del Toro? My cat has coughed up things that are funnier than Benicio del Toro.

(On a related note, my cat has also coughed up things that are better looking than Sean Penn. I’m just sayin’.)

So, there you go. I’m not a fan of two of these casting choices, and I’m lukewarm (at best) for the third.

Who would you cast in the movie? I’m going to give it some thought and give you my suggestions later.

I’m sure you all are waiting with bated breath.

10:52 AM

Okay, new theory. The young co-worker who inadvertently keeps startling me while I’m pouring coffee lives in our building’s break room.

I went to get my morning cup of coffee a few minutes ago and what do I discover? Said co-worker, along with two other (older) ladies, talking in front of the coffee machine.

I had to smile and politely say “excuse me” so I could get to the machine.

If she’s still in there when I go back to the break room later, it will be official.

12:07 PM

As most of you know from reading my Ramen Noodles with Hot Dogs recipe last year, I am an awesome cook.

For lunch today, I will be having a leftover hamburger from dinner last night. These weren’t just any hamburgers, though. They were one of my Awesomeburgers (copyright pending).

I take equal parts ground hamburger meat and ground chicken. This reduces the fat and calories. I add the meat mixture to a large bowl and add one egg. Then I add some garlic salt and black pepper. Then I add a little olive oil. Then I had a good helping of fresh Parmesan cheese. And then I add a little bit of diced green peppers (you could also use onions or a combination of the two).

Why green peppers and/or onions? Well, one, they’re tasty. But two, they help keep the hamburgers moist. Because the meat is half ground chicken, it’s not as moist as usual. Having diced peppers or onions in the meat brings back the moisture.

(BTW: Isn’t “moist” a funny-sounding word?)

And there you have it. You just thoroughly mix the ingredients, shape your hamburger patties, and cook them in whatever method you prefer.

Don’t be jealous, people. It’s not easy being a culinary mastermind.

12:11 PM

I just went to the break room to warm up my hamburger in the microwave.

Guess who was already in there warming up her lunch?

Yep.

1:15 PM

A meeting is about to begin in fifteen minutes, but thankfully I do not have to attend. You see, I am much “too busy” to attend. Or at least that’s what I’m telling everyone.

Bwahahaha.

2:32 PM

The possibility that the aforementioned co-worker is going (running?) to the break room every time I’m on my way there made me think back to the lamest pick-up line or flirtation maneuver I’ve received. Granted, guys don’t get these nearly (NEARLY!) as often as girls do, but we do get them on occasion.

I can’t decide which of the following was more lame.

The first candidate was the time some girl (at least I hope it was a girl) left me a note on the windshield of my Mustang. It said something along the lines of “nice car … give me a call sometime” and there was a phone number at the bottom. Now, I suppose it’s POSSIBLE this person had seen me leaving my car and knew what I looked like. But given the information I had on hand, this girl gave me her number based solely on the car I drove. Sorry, gold digger, but no thanks.

The second candidate came from a girl I eventually did date. I was sitting on a couch, and the person who was sitting next to me got up. There was a blanket thrown on the back of the couch, and this girl — who was sitting in the floor about ten feet away at the time — asked me a question I still remember all these years later. “What is that blanket made out of?” When I told her I didn’t know, she got up, walked over to the couch, sat down beside me, and inspected the blanket. “It feels like cotton,” she told me. And then she transitioned right into a conversation with me.

Actually, I guess since I did eventually date her, this cannot count as lame. Funny, yes. Lame, no.

How about the rest of you? What’s the lamest line or maneuver you’ve had to endure?

3:31 PM

I successfully went to the break room without seeing my female co-worker who I was starting to believe lived in the break room.

I’d celebrate, but I’m worried she might now be hiding somewhere in my office.

7:32 PM

Boy, this was a long day. Where are all the comments, people? Have all of you died? Are you ill?

If you’re ill, go to the doctor. While there, ask the doctor if she would visit SKOS and leave me a comment or two. Okay? Thanks.