When Writer’s Block Hits, Plagiarize Yourself

April 23, 2009

I know, I know. I haven’t blogged in a while. Don’t worry, I’m still alive. I’ve just been really busy. Plus, I’ve had writer’s block. When you combine busy and writer’s block, you know what you get? You get no blog updates from Kev.

In other words, you get sadness.

Still, I want to write something for the handful of you out there to read. Below are two posts I wrote at my old blog back in the day. They’ve never been published on SKOS, so they are going to be brand new to most of you.

The first one is a shorty but (hopefully) goody about a strange guy I met at the gym. After that is one of the very few surveys/memes I’ve taken in my lifetime. When you see my silly answers, you’ll understand why I rarely bother.

This first post was written on June 15, 2005.

I’ve heard it argued that Wal-Mart is the place to go to watch how people act, if you’re so inclined (if you go at 2 am you will supposedly get quite a show in the absurd). Personally, I always thought the mall was the place to go for such a thing. It struck me today that the gym is a good place, too.

Watching how people choose to dress while at the gym is a form of
entertainment in itself. At what age are men required to start wearing their socks high with shorts? Why do some men tuck in their shirts at the gym? Just seems odd.

The conversations are interesting, too. Today, a guy who had been running on the treadmill for almost an hour began recruiting those of us around him to go drinking tonight. For one thing, who goes out drinking on a Wednesday? Secondly, who asks complete strangers — both male and female — to go out drinking?

Coincidentally, this guy was also responsible for the most oddly amusing conversation I heard today. On one of the televisions, a Kylie Minogue music video was playing (he thought it was Mariah Carey, but I guess that doesn’t really matter). The guy went on, and on, and on, and on about how much he liked the video. I should point out his admiration had absolutely nothing to do with the music. When another music video with a female of note appeared on the tv, the guy would start up again. Keep in mind, he was not talking to anyone specifically. He was just talking for the sake of
talking.

In some bar tonight, there is a drunk guy sitting alone and talking to no one in particular about Mariah Carey. I can only assume he’ll go to Wal-Mart afterward.

And here is a survey I did back on August 9, 2006. If any of you are bored, feel free to leave your own answers in the comment section.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

“And that, dear readers, is why I shaved my beard and left ZZ Top.” It is from a book I am writing called “My Life: Fact or Fiction?”

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

My collection of 32 oz. Subway cups on my desk. To date, I have 22 of them.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

That would be the Atlanta Braves game last night against the Phillies. They had mercy on me and won, 3-1.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.

2:21 PM.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

10:23 AM. Boy, that is embarrassing.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Only the voices in my head. No, wait…that’s just Rich, the co-worker who shares my office. Silly Rich, stop telling me to burn the building down.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

This morning. I was stepping out of my car to enter the building where I work.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

The photo of the Smoltz Bobblehead I keep on my desk.

9. What are you wearing?

The same thing I always wear to work: swim trunks, turtleneck sweater, black socks, flip flops and a smile.

10. Did you dream last night?

I’m not much for dreams.

11. When did you last laugh?

That would be last evening during game night. While playing poker, my friend Emily said something to the effect of “I don’t sound like a horse, do I?” I responded, “no, you don’t *sound* like a horse.” Five seconds later she caught on to what I said, at which point I laughed. Hey, they can’t all be winners, folks.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

I’m in my office. I’m a guy. My walls are completely bare except for the Monty Python poster in the corner.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

I saw a spider on the ceiling of my bedroom. I didn’t have anything to kill him with, so I tried spraying him with objects in my bathroom. In my research, I found that Hugo Boss cologne works much better than Axe Body Spray at making spiders smell nice. However, neither is very good at killing them.

(For whatever reason, I skipped #14. Maybe I forgot? Or maybe I was at war with the number 14 back in the day?)

15. What is the last film you saw?