So, have you read any depressing blogs lately?

What’s that? I wrote a depressing blog post just the other day? Psssh. I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about. Silly people. You make me laugh with the silly things you say.

This past May marked the four-year anniversary of when I first started blogging. Granted, SKOS didn’t come around until a couple years later, but I still have a sizable backlog of material now.

In four years, you tend to have a lot of ups and downs in your life. And the good thing about a blog is you can document what you’re feeling during those ups and downs and read them years later.

Of course, this is assuming you actually use your blog for serious, deep thoughts instead of the random silliness for which I use mine.

Thankfully, on my old blog, I wrote about serious stuff. Well, most of the time I wrote about serious stuff. This was during the period of my life where I was finishing my career as a teacher, finishing graduate school, was looking for a new job, and had my first long-term relationship.

In other words, I packed a lot of stuff into that old blog.

Reading what “Kev of four years ago” was going through is an interesting experience. Those issues he, I mean I, dealt with seem like they happened lifetimes ago. Still, many of them are relatable to what I’m dealing with today in the here and now.

Anyhoo, I have ALMOST got the swimming pool at my new place ready and…

What’s that? You thought I was going to share a few of the things I wrote on my old blog? Silly people. There you go being silly again.

Before I moved in, this pool hadn’t been used in two years. It was left uncovered for dirt and leaves and frogs and (for all I know) mafia victims. It was a mess.

As part of the terms of my lease, my landlord was supposed to get the pool ready for me. Once it was ready, I would take over the duties of maintaining it. My landlord has been, to put it kindly, failing in his duties. So, naturally, I’ve had to kick butt and take names. Three weeks later, the pool is almost ready.

The timing is great because I am in the process of making major changes in my life. To start things off, I’m going to get into mad-crazy shape. I want to be able to wear outfits I wore in high school. Granted, I no longer own any of the clothes I had in high school. So, another goal of mine is to create a time machine. That way I can travel back in time, throat punch my 18-year-old self, and steal some of his/my clothes.

Of course, rather than throating punching and running, it would probably be a good idea to sit down with myself and have a long chat. After all, I’d have a decade plus worth of wisdom I could impart to my younger self. I could give all sorts of pearls of wisdom.

For example, in 2002, do NOT buy that Jeep Wrangler you see in the dealer parking lot. The roof leaks and you won’t be able to go faster than 60 MPH without the vehicle shaking. Also, I’m pretty sure it was haunted.

Oooh, at age 19, don’t date a girl named Rachel. In fact, just in case I’m misremembering her name, don’t date anyone with a name starting with R. Trust me on this one.

Don’t order the pasta from the Olive Garden in Macon, GA. In fact, don’t even step foot inside the restaurant. You can get food poisoning anywhere, so save yourself the gas money.

It’s okay to watch the first X-Files movie, but avoid the sequel that comes out a decade later like the plague. It’s awful. It’s beyond awful. I can’t believe Keanu Reeves didn’t star in it — that’s how awful it is.

Actually, I can already tell I’m not going to have the patience to explain all this stuff to my 18-year-old self. That guy was a know-it-all. He’d buy the Jeep, use it to pick up a girl named Rachel, take her to see that X-Files movie, and then go eat at Olive Garden. All so he could prove me wrong.

Best to just punch, take the clothes and run.

Thus endeth a very bipolar blog post.