CHICAGO, IL – After several days of intense negotiations, President Barack Obama has announced that he has secured Krystal Square Off XIII for the city of Chicago.

“It is with great pride that I announce my hometown, the greatest city on earth, Chicago, will have the eyes of the world watching it in 2016,” beamed Obama to a group of confused reporters, who nonetheless swooned with adoration.

A competitive eating event known as the official “World Hamburger Eating Championship”, the annual Krystal Square Off has, since its inception in 2004, taken place every Fall in Chattanooga, Tennessee, where the Krystal restaurant chain was founded in 1932.

James Exum, Krystal’s CEO, had never considered moving the event from Chattanooga until he received a phone call from an unexpected source on the afternoon of October 2, 2009.

“My secretary knocked on my door and told me ‘the president’ was holding for me on line two,” explained Exum.

“I laughed and told her I’d get to him as soon as I got off the phone with Bugs Bunny. She looked at me with a very serious expression and assured me she wasn’t joking; that President Obama was indeed on the phone waiting to speak with me.”

Once on the phone with Obama, Exum learned that the president wanted the Krystal Square Off to be moved from Chattanooga to Chicago in 2016. In 2017, the event could move back to Chattanooga.

When he asked Obama why he wanted the event’s venue moved for 2016 and only 2016, Exum said the president “got quiet for a few moments and then answered, ‘oh, no real reason.’”

“He made it worth my while, though,” added Exum. “He gave (Krystal) a $25 billion government loan and said we could pay it back ‘whenever’ and that no stringers were attached.

“I didn’t vote for the man, but I wanted to reach through the phone and hug him right then and there.”

Citizens of Chicago initially expressed confusion over the announcement in part due to the fact not a single Krystal restaurant exists in the entire state of Illinois, much less the city of Chicago.

“What exactly is ‘Krystal’, asked Chicago’s mayor, Richard Daley.

“It looks just like a White Castle hamburger. Is it White Castle? I’m confused.”

The mayor then scolded himself for doubting Obama’s vision and announced the city would throw a parade in the president’s honor as a “thank you” for his hard work and dedication.

“Change,” shouted Daley, as he took a big sip of kool-aid.

“Who needs the Olympics? We got hamburgers!”