Cupid has finally found me

“They” say love finds you when you aren’t looking for it.

I say “they” are fools!

Why? Because I’ve been looking for love and it still found me.

Yep, that’s right. Miss Right has found me. Just when I thought I might be the last single person of marriageable age in the entire world, an angel comes and sweeps me off my feet.

I present to you all the e-mail I received last night:

Hello

I am Miss nhelyn I came across your profile today and became much interested in you I will like to have you as my companion, from here lets see if our dream towards each other will became a reality I will also send you my pictures after I have received your mail direct to my box. I will be glad to receive your mail (Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters allot in life) Send an email to my email address (address removed to protect her privacy) so l can give you my picture for you to know who l am.

Thanks
Miss nhelyn.

See?! Isn’t she amazing?

I like a woman who knows what she wants. And what THIS woman wants is yours truly as her companion!

I know what you all are thinking.

“Kevin, this is all happening so fast.”

“But Kev, you don’t know anything about her or what she even looks like yet!”

“Kevin, are you an idiot? This is clearly a spam e-mail. She isn’t real.”

Mock our love if you must, but hear me now: This is “the one.”

Look at how well matched we are as a couple.

She believes that “love matters allott in life.” I think so, too!

She will be “happy” to receive my e-mail. I will be happy to send it to her!

She likes to write ridiculously long run-on sentences. I like to critique people’s grammar!

I even adore her name.

“Nhelyn.”

Doesn’t it just roll off your tongue?

Nhelyn. Nhelyn. Nhelyn.

“Do I need to pick up anything from the grocery store on my way home, Nhelyn dear?”

“Oh, Nhelyn. You have such an elementary understanding of the English language.”

“Why are you going through my wallet, Nhelyn? And where did you get that gun? Oh, Nhelyn. You’re so funny.”

Yep, this is a glorious day for ol’ Kev here.

I’ve finally found someone.

I hope she’s hot.

Want to congratulate me and Nhelyn? Just leave a comment or two or ten below. If you’re lucky, you all will be invited to the wedding. It will be located in whatever city/state/country Nhelyn belongs to.

About Kevin

Who am I? I am a cipher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Also, my name is Kevin and I own this here website.

7 thoughts on “Cupid has finally found me

  1. With such a rudimentary understanding of the English language, this woman sure does know how to use a euphemism. “direct to my box” I think we both know what she’s looking for, Kev….

  2. The first thought running through my head, reading her note, was “Oh, good grief. Kevin is COMPLETELY anal about grammar and LOOK AT THIS!!!!”

    I have a good friend I should introduce you to, Kevin (not as a love interest but as a grammar master kind of friend, who is just like you in making sure every instant message is grammatically correct and without spelling errors). He reminds me A LOT (allott – ROFL) of you.

  3. I’m envisioning a happy New Year’s Evening wedding….I’m just sayin’. Where are you registered? I hope Kmart is included since that is very convenient for me.

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