Newsweek magazine, apparently unable to hide its bias, has sparked controversy by choosing a most peculiar photo of Sarah Palin for its latest cover.

The controversy?

For the cover, Newsweek used a photo of Palin wearing running shorts that show off the former governor of Alaska’s legs.

Why did Sarah Palin pose in running shorts for Newsweek magazine, you ask?

She didn’t.

The photo was taken for an article Palin did for the August 2009 issue of Runner’s World.

Palin, of course, is outraged. Said Palin on her Facebook:

“The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now.”

If this controversy seems familiar, it’s because it is.

In October 2008, Newsweek sparked controversy by putting an untouched closeup of Palin’s face on its cover. The unflattering image showed Palin’s wrinkles, pores and lip hair in all their unflattering glory.

The left, of course, is giddy. Unapologetic critics of Sarah Palin’s, liberals believe she deserves to be taken down a peg or two or ten.

They’re all hypocrites.

Can you imagine what would happen if a magazine like Newsweek put an undoctored closeup of Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi on its cover? How about a photo of the trio wearing tight running shorts?

I’ll tell you what would happen.

The left would be livid. Barack Obama and every talking head in Washington would be denouncing the blatant sexism.

And you know what else would happen?

I would vomit.

I would take one look at Obama, Clinton or Pelosi’s undoctored closeup and vomit.

Whatever I had eaten that day would leave my system.

Whatever I had eaten the previous day would leave as well.

Others, too, would begin to vomit. Those who had seen the hideous photo would vomit as a result of seeing said hideous photo. Others would vomit because they saw said people vomit.

The vomiting would spread like wildfire.

In a span of minutes, every person in the world would vomit.

It would be a mess.

Once the vomiting ceased, some people, inevitably, would remember the photo they had seen just a few minutes prior.

And then they would vomit again.

Eventually, the vomiting would stop.

But that night, while asleep, I would have a nightmare about the inexplicable photo.

And I would vomit.

People all over the world would have similar nightmares. They, too, would vomit.

With all the vomiting going on, no one will feel like going to their jobs.

For several days, every business in the world will shut down. The lost productivity will be cost hundreds of billions of dollars.

Would we ever recover?

Doubtful.

By this point, the stock market would have crashed. Everyone in Wall Street will have shot or poisoned themselves.

Many businesses will have to shut down, forcing millions to lose their jobs. With unemployment so high, no one will have money to spend. Other businesses shut down as a result. The economy will crumble.

Chaos will reign.

Want to survive? You better have lots of guns and bullets and a “kill or be killed” attitude.

Me?

I’ll be carrying around a copy of the infamous Obama-Clinton-Pelosi magazine.

With it, I’ll be able to incapacitate anyone who crosses my path.

Of course, if the person is wearing reflective sunglasses, we will both be incapacitated.

The moral?

There is an upside to the media being so liberal. It means we never have to worry about an undoctored or “sexy” magazine cover of Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi starting a vomit apocalypse that wipes out civilization as we know it.

I’ll sleep easy tonight with that knowledge.

A calm, peaceful, vomit-free sleep.