While visiting my parents over the weekend, my younger sister did a little housekeeping. With the family distracted/busy due to my grandfather being in the hospital, her helping hand was needed if my parents were going to put up their Christmas tree and decorations before Christmas came and went.

Of course, personally, I’m all for zigging when others are zagging.

“Everyone puts up their tree before Christmas, mom and dad. Let’s be different. Let’s put up your tree AFTER Christmas! What do you say? Who’s with me?!”

Sadly, no one was with me.

While cleaning, my sister found a book with a rubber band wrapped around it.

“Who’s ‘Built to Win’ is this?,” she asked everyone.

At first, no one answered.

Since I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose, approximately seven minutes later I asked: “What was the name of that book again?”

“‘Built to Win,’” my sister repeated.

The wheels in my head began to turn.

“Who is the author,” I asked.

“John Schuerholz,” my sister replied — butchering the name beyond recognition.

Wait a second…

That’s my book!

Built to Win: Inside Stories and Leadership Strategies from Baseball’s Winningest GM was a book written by the then General Manager of the Atlanta Braves in 2006.

I lost it more than two years ago.

You see, I bought this book right around the time I was dating a girl from Minnesota. Before that time, I had never stepped foot on a plane. Not knowing the procedure, I asked my dad, a frequent flyer, for advice.

One of his tips was to carry a book with me that I could place my plane ticket and identification inside. That way I would not have to hold them in my hand (possibly dropping them) and I’d have them both handy for when I got to the front of the security line.

“Built to Win” was the book I used for those plane trips to Minnesota.

With the book back in my possession, I removed the rubber band. Inside I found numerous, forgotten photos of me and my ex-girlfriend.

As I looked through the photos, memories of my past returned to me. Soon thereafter arrived the 800-pound-gorilla question I could not ignore:

“Whatever happened to the black shirt I’m wearing in most of these photos?”

Seriously, where did it go?

It’s a black, long-sleeved, open-collared shirt from the Gap.

I loved that shirt. It looked great in everything from bluejeans to khakis. And it disappeared about two years ago, right around the time I lost my John Schuerholz book.

Depressed, I then took it upon myself to rewrite “Candle in the Wind” for my lost shirt. Thankfully, since I’m not very gifted musically, I was able to use most of the existing lyrics. In fact, all I really had to do was replace all “Norma Jean” references with “black shirt from the Gap.”

Sure, the lyrics no longer make any sense, but it’s still pretty catchy.

(What? Did you guys expect some OTHER 800-pound-gorilla question to be on my mind? Pssssh.)