Is there a shortage of grapes in this country of which I’m unaware?

Twice a week, sometimes three times, I’ll swing by Chick-fil-a for breakfast on my way to work. I almost always get a fruit cup. It has strawberries, apples, oranges and grapes. It’s delicious.

Until about a week ago, apples and grapes were the most abundant fruits in this particular fruit cup. Then, suddenly, the grapes disappeared.

One fruit cup had three grapes in it. The next one had about four. The fruit cup I had this morning had one grape in it. One.

The timing of this grape shortage has not been lost on me. It started the Monday after Obama’s health care bill passed.

Conclusion?

To help pay for health care, Obama is depriving me of grapes.

Chalk this up to reason #5,243,342 I hate the man so very, very much.

Speaking of Chick-fil-a, it would appear there is a 23% chance I have a female admirer who works there.

As I just mentioned, I almost always get a fruit cup for breakfast. The other item I get is their “chicken breakfast burrito” — a tasty superfood that packs 22 grams of protein into its 422 calories.

Well, one day last week I only ordered the breakfast burrito. No fruit cup for me this time. When I pulled up to the drive-thru window, a pretty girl with glasses (who had waited on me a handful of times previously) asked “No fruit cup today?” after I handed her my credit card.

I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I just figured it was a sign that I order the same thing so often that even an employee, a stranger who waits on hundreds of customers like me every day, is able to pick up on even the most minute differences.

Well, this morning I found myself in the Chick-fil-a drive-thru once again. I pulled up to the menu and gave my order to the speaker.

“One chicken breakfast burrito and one medium fruit cup,” I said.

After repeating my order to me, the girl on the other side of the speaker added: “Hey, I know who this is! How are you doing?”

I recognized the voice. It was the girl with glasses.

Conclusion?

If I play my cards right, I might be able to get more grapes added to my fruit cups.

Take that, Obama.