As long-time readers may have surmised due to the fact I’ve never once discussed the sport (despite being an unapologetic sports fan), I’m not really into the game of golf.

I don’t watch it on television. I don’t play it. If golf highlights come on ESPN, I change the channel to HGTV or the Food Network (and pray Michelle Obama hasn’t invaded yet another show). If someone tries to attack me with a golf club, I say “that’s so cute” and pull out my aluminum baseball bat.

It’s not that I dislike the sport or anything. I’m just set in my ways, and my ways is a way that never really got into the game.

Still, despite my “meh” attitude towards golf, I knew quite a bit about its biggest star, Tiger Woods. How could I not? Unless you never watch television, it is virtually impossible not to know who Tiger Woods is thanks to the seemingly thousands of products he’s endorsed on television.

He’s endorsed Nike. He’s endorsed Gillete. He’s endorsed General Motors. He’s endorsed video games. He’s endorsed Gatorade.

If not for his recent scandal, I believe it was only a matter of time before the man began endorsing hygiene products for women.

Seriously, he’s endorsed virtually everything else.

And then, of course, came the big scandal. Turns out, Tiger was an adulterous scumbag. If it moved, Tiger wanted to have sex with it. If it breathed, Tiger wanted to have sex with it. Heck, if his “sex addiction” claims (ha!) are to believed, Tiger probably would have let the whole “breathing” thing slide if push came to shove.

Waiter at Restaurant: “Help! This woman just passed out! Is there a doctor in the house? Does anyone know CPR??”

Tiger: “I don’t know CPR, but I do have sex addiction. Let me see what I can do. Quick, go put on some Marvin Gaye music.”

Suddenly, the world’s post popular and marketable athlete was a pariah. It was kind of surreal seeing society and the media, entities who tend to see “morality” as “that funny word that starts with a M,” beat up on Tiger for his infidelity.

Sponsors dropped him. Parents, apparently under the impression Tiger — not themselves — should be their children’s biggest role model, cried fowl. The media, for the most part, seemed to disapprove of his actions.

But alas, it was short lived.

As the 2010 Masters Tournament approached (which marked Tiger’s return to golf after a long hiatus), many of those same people who were up in arms at Tiger’s adultery were excited to see him return. People were rooting for him. They wanted to see him back and doing what he does best.

(And what he does best, apparently, is playing golf. I would have bet a shiny nickel it was cheating on his wife.)

The notion of Tiger Woods returning to golf, winning the Masters in his first tournament and being praised like he was some kind of resilient hero sickened me.

I didn’t want it to happen. I wanted anyone (anyone!) other than Tiger to win.

Thankfully, Tiger didn’t win. Even better, the man who did win, in many ways, is the anti-Tiger.

Last year, Phil Mickelson, like Tiger Woods, also took time off from golf. However, unlike Tiger, Mickelson’s reason for his hiatus had nothing to do with being publicly disgraced after mating with dozens of women who likely had dozens of STDs.

No, Mickelson took time off after his wife discovered she had breast cancer. His wife’s well being was his number one priority. Conversely, Tiger’s number one priority was deceiving and dishonoring his wife (and, by extension, sharing with her his many STDs).

The illness of Michelson’s wife, Amy, kept her from being at the tournament in person. She watched her husband on television at a house near the golf course. However, as Phil was nearing victory, Amy met him on the 18th (and final) green. She was there to greet him when he walked off the course. The moment where Phil and Amy embraced was one of sport’s most touching moments in some time.

Look, I’m not naive. Is Phil Mickelson faithful to his wife? Has he ever strayed? Is he, at heart, just as big of a leech as Tiger Woods? Who knows. But judging by their public display, I would suspect Phil and Amy are eternally devoted to each other. And that, until we’re given reason to believe otherwise, makes him the anti-Tiger.

Had Tiger won on Sunday, I wonder who would have greeted him as he walked off the course?

His wife…or one of his many skanks?

I thank God none of us had to find out the answer to that question.