Friday. Day four of that live blogging thing I sometimes I do. Let’s do this thing.

8:20 AM

The day after Earth Day is such a letdown. You look forward all year to Earth Day and, in a snap, it’s over!

Sigh.

I can’t believe I have to wait 364 days for the next tone.

10:35 AM

I’m not a Denver Broncos fan, but with Kurt Warner (formerly of the Arizona Cardinals) now retired, I have adopted them as my second favorite team behind the hometown Atlanta Falcons.

Why?

Because they just drafted Tim Tebow.

I don’t care what some “experts” say about his throwing motion. I don’t care that they think he’ll never be a productive player at the professional player. And I really don’t care about all the people who rip him for his morals and beliefs.

In an age where athletes — who like it or not are role models for our youth — are getting suspended for drug use, are accused of rape, bring loaded guns to nightclubs and promote the absolute worst things life has to offer, Tebow is an exception.

He’s a good guy. An actual good guy. He’s respectful to anyone who crosses his path. His parents are missionaries. He’s regularly traveled with his family during summers to minister to orphanages in the Philippines. At college, he majored in youth, family and community services. He’s ministered to prisons. He’s vowed to remain celibate until he’s married. The list goes on and on.

People either love him or hate him. Those who hate him do so because of the things he stands for. Just days before the draft, Tebow spoke at a conference in Nashville’s Lipscomb University and told students his plan to use his professional football career as a platform for modeling his Christian faith.

“There is a responsibility and an obligation for me to be a good role model and set an example for the next generation,” Tebow told the students.

“The NFL is not the end for me,” he stressed. “It is a means to an end. It will give me a platform to hopefully make a difference.”

Tebow is the anti-Ben Roethlisberger.

11:07 AM

As I got ready for work this morning, I saw a spider on my bathroom wall.

What’s this? A new friend? A roommate?

I wanted to welcome my new guest. But how?

Giving him a high five could be messy. I had no flies handy that I could give him, so that wasn’t an option.

Then I checked my medicine cabinet.

Cologne!

Spiders like to smell nice, right? And on a spider’s salary, I doubt my new friend here could afford to buy a good cologne himself.

So, I grabbed my Hugo Boss. Just as I was about to give him a couple spritz, a sense of deja-vu came over me. Hadn’t something like this happened before?

And then I remembered. During a dark period of my life, I once used Hugo Boss cologne as a bug-spray replacement. I used it to kill a spider just like my new friend.

Crisis averted, I put the Hugo Boss back into the medicine cabinet.

Then I grabbed my bottle of Truth by Calvin Klein. Surely ol’ CK would be a more fitting cologne for my spider friend!

Sigh.

I’m sorry I killed you, spider friend.

1:00 PM

“What’s the Obama family’s favorite animal?”

We’ve all wondered this, right? Personally, not a day goes by that I don’t ponder which animal is BFF with the Obama clan.

Is it a cat? A dog?? A fish???

I won’t keep all of you in suspense. The answer is…

Tiger!

Yes, a tiger. According to Michelle, the Obamas discuss their favorite animal, the tiger, at least once a week. Daughter Malia, age 11, is apparently concerned about the animal being an endangered species.

“We’re trying to save the tigers,” Michelle told a group of kids visiting the White House.

Isn’t that so amazingly interesting?!?!?!

It’s the most interesting and exciting news item I have ever ZZZZZzzzZZzzzz….

2:35 PM

So far today I have discussed Earth Day, Tim Tebow, killing a spider with cologne and the Obama’s unholy love of all things tiger.

Even for me, this blog entry has been all over the map. If I can somehow work in a reference about Abraham Lincoln’s hat, the duckbill platypus and escargo, I might just have the most random blog post in the history of blog posts.

4:14 PM

Word is it that Oscar-winning director and convicted rapist Roman Polanski has written a letter to Barack Obama asking to be spared jail time.

I have as much faith in Obama doing the right thing as the next guy (assuming “the next guy” is someone who has zero confidence in the man to ever do the right thing and believes, when cameras aren’t looking, that he punches small kittens in the face), but I sure hope nothing comes of this.

If Polanski is pardoned, we should all pack it in and move to Australia.

4:50 PM

Since it’s Friday, I think I’ll forgo my usually fruit-smoothie dinner and have some wheat-noodle pasta with marinara. Or maybe pizza using whole-wheat pita. Or maybe some other kind of food that ends with a vowel.

Suggestions?

(Don’t say escargo.)