(From the mind of the boy in this photo.)

(Boy enters room in animal hospital.)

Einstein!

Thank goodness you’re okay! I’m so sorry I tried to ride you the other day!! What was I thinking?? You’re the world’s smallest horse and I’m the boy with the world’s largest head!! I should have known what would happen.

Gosh, that horrific, horrific sound. You remember the one I’m talking about, Einstein? The sound of your spine snapping? Remember?? Golly gee, I sure do remember it. It sounded like what biting into a giant celery stick would sound like, if I ever listened to my mom and ate celery. Gosh, I hate veggies!

I’m so glad my parents are rich and could afford to take you to the best animal doctor in the whole wide world! Mom says you’ll be good as new once your horribly-damaged spine has had time to heal! Isn’t that great news, Einstein?? You’ll be running and jumping and having little boys with giant heads riding you again in no time!

Haha. Just kidding, Einstein! I’ve learned my lesson. I am never, ever going to try to ride tiny animals ever again. Scout’s honor!

What’s that, mom? Einstein has visitors? His family is here!?

Did you hear that, Einstein? Your family is here to see you!

(In walks three tiny horses, each only slightly larger than Einstein.)

Why, it’s nice to meet all of you! Einstein never told me he had so many siblings. Gosh, you’re all so tiny! It’s a good thing there are no little boys in this room who haven’t really learned their lessons, or else they might be trying to ride you right now!

(awkward laugh)

Einstein, can I tell you a secret?

(whispers) “As soon as my mom is distracted, I’m going to ride your brothers and sisters!”

Don’t look at me that way, Einstein! They’re a little bigger and older than you, right? That likely means their spines are better equipped to hold giant-headed-little boys like myself!

Yes, I know I said I had learned my lesson and I would never again ride a tiny animal! But I said that before God dropped three more tiny horses into my lap! I’d be insulting the Man if I didn’t take advantage of this opportunity He’s granted me!

Einstein, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering “what if.” What if I’d had the courage to grab life by the horns and jump on the backs of three tiny horses who very well may crumble beneath the weight of my enormous head? Riding tiny animals is what I do. Its my business.

I don’t want to live with regret, Einstein. I don’t want…

Aha! The doctor needs to talk to my mom outside! This is my chance! Showtime!!