A few weeks ago, I tried one of those breakfast sandwiches at Subway. I’d never eaten one before, so I asked the friendly Subway employee to give me guidance.

“What kind of sauce or dressing do people usually get on their breakfast sandwich,” I asked.

“Mayo.”

“Mayo?? On a breakfast sandwich?!”

“Yep, mayo.”

Not to go off on a rant here, but there are items where mayonnaise is perfectly acceptable. A hamburger, for example. Or a turkey sandwich. For each of these, I use and enjoy mayo myself in the “light” or “made with olive oil” varieties. For my money, there’s nothing quite like a sandwich with mayo on wheat bread using leftover turkey from Thanksgiving.

But a breakfast sandwich? Are you kidding me??

People are actually putting mayo on an egg omelet placed between, in some cases, two halves of an English muffin?

One word comes to mind: disgusting.

If there are any such mayo enthusiasts out there, my apologies. But good grief, people. May God have mercy on your artery-clogged souls.