Have you ever read a news headline and, based solely on the wording in the headline, had random thoughts or rhetorical questions pop into your head?

For example, Yahoo’s homepage has a headline entitled, “What your desk says about you.” Now, I knew the article was going to be about how a disorganized desk indicates you are disorganized to others (and other such things), but in my head I thought:

“What’s that no good son of a gun been saying about me?? It’s a lie, I tell you. A lie!”

For the amusing (to me) headline, “Wrong way to cover a sneeze,” I thought:

“Well, if grabbing a stranger’s jacket and using it as a tissue is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

When I read the “Twist in missing scientist case” headline, I thought:

“If the twist is the scientist was a ghost the entire time, I totally saw it coming. In your face, M. Night Shyamalan!”

The “Obama hits new low in poll” headline made me get creative:

“I am totally going to make ‘that is like kicking an Obama when he is down’ the new, hip catchphrase. No one will talk about kicking downed horses anymore. I’m bringing silly metaphors into the 21st century!”

When I gazed upon the insipid “Is Kim Kardashian dating NFL’s Austin?” headline, I thought:

“That is incredibly uninteresting.”

(Hey, they can’t all be winners.)

For the trying-to-be-helpful headline, “How to avoid underripe fruit,” I thought:

“Ask the fruit how old it is. Duh.”

The career-finance headline “5 crucial tips for getting ahead” made me think:

“Follow the Headless Horseman around. Maybe he’ll give you one of his trophies.”

“Signs of fear in a company,” another headline from Yahoo, made me think:

“When the cleaning lady turns on the vacuum cleaner, everyone either screams or passes out.”

The “Scientist believes gravity doesn’t exist” headline made me theorize the following:

“However, Scientist totally believes in global warming. ‘Al Gore’ is a god,’ exclaimed the scientist after putting on a hat made out of tinfoil.”

I’ll see if I can find any others. Have YOU had any amusing thoughts after reading any headlines?