NEW YORK – Saying it was the hardest thing he has ever had to do, New York Mets General Manager Omar Minaya announced today that he has traded disgruntled outfielder Jeff Francoeur to the adult softball team at First Presbyterian Church in Omaha, Nebraska.

“I’m not exaggerating,” noted Minaya. “Finding someone who wanted Jeff Francoeur was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

Earlier this week, Minaya, who in return will receive a plate of homemade brownies baked by First Presbyterian choir member Ethel Thompson, was notified by representatives of the recently-benched outfielder that Francoeur wished to be traded to a team that would play him more often.

“My first response, obviously, was ‘who in their right mind would be willing to trade for and insert into the starting lineup a corner outfielder with a .677 OPS,’” asked Minaya.

“I mean, sure, we did it. But we’re the Mets. That’s what we do.”

After receiving responses ranging from polite chuckles to laughter-induced heart attacks by the general managers for the other 29 MLB teams, Minaya knew he would have to think outside the box.

“When even the Kansas City Royals turn down the chance to acquire a former Atlanta Brave, you know you have your work cut out for you,” sighed Minaya.

After being turned down by every team in the Japanese League as well as Fidel Castro, who Minaya hoped might have been too preoccupied to know about Francoeur’s downward career spiral the past three years, a despondent Minaya was ready to throw in the towel.

That’s when Minaya overheard an intern talking about his cousin’s hernia, and how his church was going to need a replacement for their softball team.

“What position does your cousin play,” Minaya remembers asking the intern.

In addition to agreeing to cover all salary commitments, the Mets also sent First Presbyterian a baseball autographed by Luis Castillo and pitcher Oliver Perez.

“No, not a ball autographed by Oliver Perez,” Minaya clarified. “We actually sent them Oliver Perez.”

When asked for comment, a surprised Francoeur admitted, “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

Still, the outfielder vowed he would embrace his new role and try to be the best teammate possible.

“And,” added Francoeur, “if all goes well, I might even be able to surpass that pesky .300 on-base percentage barrier.”