by Larry Bell, lover of beauty

Hello, my fellow red-blooded males! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I just can’t enough of that fine-looking first lady, Michelle Obama. Isn’t she gorgeous?? And, to think, people out there have the AUDACITY to call her ugly!

If Michelle Obama is ugly, then my name’s not Mr. Larry Bell!

Would an UGLY person make it onto People Magazine’s list of world’s most beautiful people? Ha! I don’t think so.

Only the finest of the fine get to make it onto People’s “Most Beautiful” list. I defy anyone to find one example of an unattractive person making the list! Seriously, just one example. You can’t do it, can you? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

But don’t let indisputable facts alone convince you. Just look at the photo evidence! For instance, look at this photo to the left. Man, just look at those delicate features. Those eyes, that nose, those lips, those TEETH! Am I the only one here getting extremely turned on?

And those legs! Wow. Talk about legs that won’t quit. And, quite frankly, who would WANT them to quit? Not me, that’s for sure. And I’m not just saying that because guys are easy and I, again, am a guy. Seriously, I can prove it if I have to. No? Okay, but I totally could have proved I was a guy if I had to. It’s not like I’m some woman wearing a fake mustache or something! Haha.

(awkward pause)

I am not Michelle Obama!