NEW YORK, NY – Fans of music and walking were devastated today after Charlie and Craig Reid, the identical Scottish twins known around the world as The Proclaimers, announced that the lyrics to “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”, their 1993 hit song featured on the Benny & Joon movie soundtrack, weren’t actually true.
According to their press release:
“We are tired of living a lie. The world needs to know that we would not, in fact, walk 500 miles. And we would most certainly not walk 500 more. We would not walk these 1,000 miles just to be the man who falls down at your door. Da Da Da (da da da), Da Da Da (da da da), Da Da Da Dun Diddle Un Diddle Un Diddle Uh Da.
Reaction to the news was swift and negative.
“My world as I know it has ended,” exclaimed Keith Dugan, president of the 500 Miles Fan Club.
“That was my and my husband’s wedding song,” lamented Angela Carter of of Sitka, Alaska. “Does this mean our marriage is based on a lie??”
“I don’t know how, but (George W.) Bush is somehow responsible for this travesty,” promised President Barack Obama.
The timing of the news was particularly difficult coming on the heels of yesterday’s announcement from Chris Barron of the Spin Doctors who said he actually has “no idea what a prince and lover ought to be” and last week’s announcement from Edwin McCain that he has “no desire whatsoever to be your crying shoulder.”