I forgot my password. Someone stole my computer. Thieves kidnapped me and were holding me hostage. I fell, hit my head, and had amnesia. A dog ate my homework. I died. I met a girl and fell in love. A witch turned me into a newt (I got better).
One of these explains my blogging absence these past several months. And the winner is…
I had amnesia!
Okay, fine. I met someone and fell in love. I have been so blissfully happy and preoccupied, I just haven’t had time for blogging.
What? You don’t believe me??
It’s true! We’re engaged!
People, I’m telling the truth. I am engaged and getting married. It will be a short engagement and a Spring wedding!
You’re still not buying it? Look, people, I know I tend to be a jokester when I write, but hear me now: I am engaged to be married. Seriously. For real. It is happening. May the good Lord in Heaven strike me down if I am making this up. May I be smothered in honey and brown sugar and trapped in an elevator with a hungry Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore if I am making this up. May I vote for Barack Hussein Obama in the next election if I am making this up!
There. That should convince you.
Those who just happen to pass through and find this blog post are likely thinking, “big deal…who cares?” Those who have been following me over the years know this is a pretty big deal, though. Like Ponce de León searching for the fountain of youth or Nicolas Cage searching for a movie script even he thinks is lousy, I have been searching for what often seemed like the unobtainable: The one.
Last July, I found her. And on New Year’s, I asked her to be my wife. She’s the prettiest, sweetest, kindest, Godliest young lady I have ever known. And I have just been much, much too smitten to find time to blog!
That, my friends, is the truth. The honest-to-goodness truth.
But, for those who may be upset with me and think this isn’t a good enough reason to stop blogging for a few months, would it help if I told you the “witch turned me into a newt” thing was true, too? In fact, that’s how I knew my fiance was the one: She wasn’t scared away when I told her I used to be an amphibian!
I might have made up this last part…