http://specialkindofstupid.com The world is full of stupid. We're just here to document it. Thu, 08 May 2008 02:16:14 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Alex Rodriguez, the highest paid player in major league baseball, is a wimp. Or so newspapers all over the country this morning would have you believe. Apparently, when his wife was giving birth to their first born in 2004, Rodriguez fainted. "The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head. ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/05/07/everyone-leave-a-rod-alone-youre-making-him-cry/ http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/05/05/oldie-but-goodie-letterman-interviews-paris-hilton/ Last week, a man by the name of Charles Ray Fuller was arrested for attempting to cash a $360 BILLION check. Here are the moronic details of the story in all of their idiotic glory: The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/05/05/wait-the-360-billion-check-guy-has-a-girlfriend/ The following is one of four guest articles I wrote on April Fools Day for the awesome Free Money Finance website. Of the four, this one was my personal favorite. And so, on its one month (and one day) anniversary, I will republish it here so that those of you ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/05/02/government-steps-up-efforts-to-assist-stupid-homeowners/ According to a new report from The SKOS Institute, 75% of Americans express concern about financial-related matters while shopping for junk they do not need. "It is fascinating to witness," remarked Kevin Dugan, lead researcher of the study. "One individual we studied went on a three-minute rant about rising gas prices while ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/30/report-americans-express-financial-concerns-while-shopping-for-junk/ The news of actor Wesley Snipes being sentenced to three years in prison for cheating on his taxes has sent shock waves through the Hollywood community. Fellow actors, convinced these tax charges are merely the beginning of large-scale witch hunt to rid society of horrible acting, are worried they could ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/25/wesley-snipes-sentenced-to-prison-hollywoods-worst-fear-they-could-be-next/ If, as a reward for being incredibly awesome, someone knocked on my front door and offered me my choice between a lifetime's supply of gasoline or $1 million in unmarked bills, I would have a really difficult decision on my hands. Gas prices have gotten absolutely ridiculous. Yesterday, it took $48 ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/22/these-insane-gas-prices-are-killing-my-joy/ Imagine, if you will, you had a co-worker who did the following: When leaving his office, he sprinted to his destination. Every time he finished something -- a meeting, a project, an e-mail -- he would go to the bathroom (sprinting there, of course) and brush his teeth. After brushing ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/15/thin-line-between-superstitious-and-freakin-psychotic/ One year after euthanizing underachieving starting pitcher Mark Redman, the Atlanta Braves were shocked to learn the pitcher has come back from the dead and will pitch against them tonight in their game against the Colorado Rockies. "Shocked isn't the right word," said Braves manager Bobby Cox as he hid under ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/09/atlanta-braves-to-face-former-teammate-brain-eating-zombie/ As inevitably happens when you have a group of straight guys together, the topic of "fashion" came up in conversation yesterday amongst me and some friends. Grunge music of the early 90s and the fashion trend that accompanied it soon came up, which prompted me to state something along the ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/07/how-i-achieved-fashion-perfection-12-years-ago-aka-why-mess-with-a-good-thing/ A lot of awesome things happened in the world this week. As a public service, I'll run through all of them. Let's begin... Thank you, Lord It has now been 635 weeks since a movie starring Pauly Shore has been released nationwide to theaters. Let that soak in for a moment. If ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/04/the-week-in-awesome-friday-april-4-2008/ ... for naming Special Kind of Stupid the About Web Search Site of the Day for April 2, 2008. Since SKOS is a humor site, it would've been nice to have been honored on April Fools Day, but whatever... I'm totally over it. April 2nd is as good as any other ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/03/a-quick-thanks-to-wendy-boswell-at-aboutcom/ Since I've made "spreading the awesome" one of my life's goals, I have decided to allow Free Money Finance to publish four never-before-seen articles of mine for April Fools Day! (Translation: The very nice FMF at Free Money Finance wrote a post a few weeks ago asking if anyone would like ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/04/01/look-at-me-im-at-freemoneyfinancecom/ Since quitting coffee twelve days, two hours, sixteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds ago, I am happy to report my head has not, as I incorrectly predicted, caved in. The intense caffeine headaches I faced early on went away after after a few days. Even more amazing, I now have more ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/31/quitting-coffee-has-turned-me-stupid/ Love him or hate him, you have to admire the way Sylvester Stallone has been able to revive his career. By returning to the iconic roles that originally made him famous, Stallone was able to exit Steven Seagal Highway, bypass Jean-Claude Van Damme Road, and become a star again. His ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/27/the-sylvester-stallone-trilogy/ I'm not talking about that "S" word. I learned early in life that every time you use profanity, God permits Keanu Reeves to star in another movie. So no profanity for me, thanks. No, I'm talking about the other "S" word. The word that, when used on my blog, sends ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/25/the-s-word/ http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/24/situation-in-nigeria-seems-pretty-complex/ What's my idea of hell on earth? It's being trapped in an elevator with Pauly Shore, Rosie O'Donnell, a can of open tuna already two days old, and a stupid sports fan. Now, please do not misunderstand: being a sports fan doesn't make you stupid. I'm a sports fan. Not liking ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/21/most-sports-fans-are-complete-idiots/ I have probably written about coffee more than any other topic here on my blog. On one hand, this fact is incredibly sad. On the other hand, it is a testament to the awesome power coffee and its French vanilla goodness have over me. It is also evidence for how ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/19/quitting-coffee-cold-turkey/ Call me a skeptic, but I believe this whole "go green" movement has less to do with helping the environment and more to do with people wanting to avoid being pinched on St. Patrick's Day. Who on earth invented this practice of pinching anyone who isn't wearing the color green on ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/17/happy-pinch-people-for-no-reason-day/ http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/16/is-the-government-spying-on-schizophrenics-enough/ The following is a guest post from one of my favorite bloggers, the witty KathyF. Check her out at The Junk Drawer. The last time I looked, I had a head with a face on it. But to those who have a computer question, that round thing on my shoulders is ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/16/my-magic-8-ball-head/ In probably the weirdest of all weird news, the story of a Kansas woman who did not leave her boyfriend's bathroom for two years hit the news circuits this week. Allow me to briefly review the high/lowlights: The woman chose on her own to stay inside the bathroom. Her boyfriend of ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/14/woman-sat-on-boyfriends-toilet-for-2-years/ I used to dislike memes until I realized they enabled me to be sarcastic and give all of you, my rabid readers, the Kev trivia you so desperately crave. If that isn't a win-win, I don't know what is. Today I have two memes. The first is from a long-time reader ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/12/one-two-memes-here-before-you/ Well, well, well, Daylight Savings Time. You thought you were pretty hot stuff when you bested me last Fall. Didn't you? What happened yesterday, big guy? What's that? I got the better of you this time around? Bet your spring-forward-fall-back butt I did! No doubt, you've bested me more times than ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/10/take-that-daylight-savings-time/ http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/07/parents-outsourcing-child-care-overseas/ A few days ago, I noticed I was getting a fairly large number of visitors from a site that was foreign to me. "What on earth is Alltop," I thought to myself, out loud, in the middle of a large group of people, as the bride and groom were taking ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/07/you-scratch-my-back-a-tribute-to-alltopcom/ I'm occasionally asked about the advertisements on my website. Why do I have them? Don't they get in the way of the incredibly awesome content on my site? Doesn't having advertisements make me a sellout? Well, yes, it does. But I have a good reason for selling out. Every so often, ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/05/a-tribute-to-snorg-t-shirts/ The following is a guest post from my good friend, Josh H. Check him out at his blog, The Smoak House. We hear lots of people say lots of things throughout our lives. But every once in a while someone says something that is not only strange, but is said at ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/04/spongebob-goes-to-court/ Why are sticky notes so popular? This is a question I ponder every time I have to pick up yet another sticky note that has fallen off my computer monitor. If I'm away from my computer, the sticky notes seem to have no problem hanging on. However, if I'm anywhere in ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/04/totally-pointless-reviews-sticky-notes/ Due to the overwhelming response Special Kind of Stupid, a humor blog, has received for its new "cork message board" design, dozens of Fortune 500 companies announced today they soon will be implementing similar designs for their websites. Dubbed "Web 2 Point Awesome" by experts, this revolutionary theme layers the site's ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/03/major-websites-switch-to-message-board-design-theme/ The following is a guest post from my good friend, Josh H. Check him out at his blog, The Smoak House. *The story you are about to read is true. The names have been divulged to expose the guilty* I am convinced that debt collection agencies (and medical insurance companies for that ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/02/who-do-i-throw-my-money-at-now-an-adventure-in-debt-collection/ It occurred to me late one night while I was honing my skills in the fine art of underwater basket weaving that KFC had good chicken. I thought of going to the local KFC and partaking of the delicious fried goodness, but the thought came to me that the local ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/03/02/kfc-fever/ Researchers at The SKOS Institute have released a report stating that a majority of web users still using Internet Explorer 6 believe it is the year 2003 and not, as recent calendars suggest, 2008. Experts believe this delusion stems from a fear of newer technology and a heaping dose of ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/27/report-72-of-ie6-users-are-insane/ Today, as straight men awaken and drive to work on their daily commutes, there is a sense of dread. In offices all over the country, straight men will be subjected to lengthy, rambling, "Academy Awards" gossip by their female and non-straight male co-workers. "The morning after The Oscars is the worst ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/25/oscar-aftermath-to-affect-straight-men-worldwide/ Today's installment of Dear Reader goes out to someone very special. At 3:14 pm on February 18, 2008, a visitor from Chepachet, Rhode Island, stumbled upon this site after typing the following into a search engine: "A real spell to make you have anything you want at that moment" A big thanks ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/20/do-you-believe-in-magic/ For as long as I can remember, I and everyone else in my immediate family have always been able to tell when an item has been inside my grandparent's house. You see, my grandparent's house has a distinct aroma. It is a combination of potpourri, mothballs and something else I ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/18/i-smell-like-grandmas-house/ A few weeks ago, my mom, after finally getting to experience the "Grandmother" phenomenon thanks to my brother, asked me if I was doing anything with anyone on Valentine's Day this year. "Of course not," I replied. "It's within 30 days of Valentine's Day. I can't break the rule." Confused, my mom ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/14/the-thirty-day-rule/ Exactly two years ago, at my old blog, I wrote a short, Valentine's Day post that turned out to be extremely controversial. One person even booed me. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I'd also be lying if I said I didn't cry myself to sleep the ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/13/a-special-valentines-day-message-revisited/ Occasionally, almost always by someone I know in real life, I am asked for the meaning behind the name, "Special Kind of Stupid." To those who know me in real life, my "it came about because of Denis, my roommate in college," response is greeted with a yawn, roll of ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/12/theres-too-much-stupid-out-there-for-one-man-to-handle/ In college, I would often sit down in front of my television with a bowl of generic Ramen noodles or a ham sandwich and watch gourmet meals being prepared on the Food Channel. Why would I do this? Well, probably for the same reason a short person watches basketball or ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/07/the-dramatic-pause/ In an effort to clean the albatross that is my bedroom, this past weekend I went through some of the items in my closet. In the process, I found many of the shoes from my youth. There were my snake skin cowboy boots, an item of fashion awesomeness that has ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/06/the-boy-and-the-size-13-12-shoe/ Even though I have an office job, "meetings" do not dominate my schedule the way they probably do most office workers. In my two plus years in this work environment, I say I've had to endure being trapped in a meeting maybe only one hour a week on average. However, for ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/02/05/all-work-and-no-play-make-kevin-go-crazy/ My affection for coffee has been discussed ad nauseum here on my blog. A quick search of the word "coffee" brings back 16 different blog posts. As a result, my #1 Dad coffee mug has received almost cult-like status. You crazy kids and your cults... A few moments ago, while sipping ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/01/24/washing-your-coffee-mug-sanitary-or-pure-evil/ Probably because it sounds so much like "recess," the word "recession" doesn't scare me. Whenever I hear someone say the word I begin daydreaming about being a kid again, climbing monkey bars on a playground and "accidentally" knocking the other kids down. Good times, good times. Of course, a few seconds ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/01/22/yes-virginia-there-is-a-recession/ You know it's been a long time since you've updated your blog when you have regular readers - some who are notorious for not updating their own blogs - leave you comments calling you out. It's like having Keith Richards comment on your drug habit, Billy Joel comment on your ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/01/18/special-kind-of-uncle/ I find it both sad and funny that now that I'm debt free and in a position where I can begin saving money and investing it for the first time, a recession looms over the economy. The first three days of trading in 2008 were the lowest in the stock ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/01/07/to-boldly-go-where-no-chicken-little-has-gone-before/ Dear Future Me, I am writing this on the heels of my/your 30th birthday. Admitting this age feels very odd and surreal. In my head, I'm still 18. The expression I've just now coined, "time really flies when you are incredibly awesome" is all too true. To freshen your memory, the purpose ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2008/01/01/a-letter-to-future-me/ Merry Christmas, everyone! http://specialkindofstupid.com/2007/12/24/have-yourself-a-merry-little-christmas/ The following is an actual eBay auction description I used for a couple copies of "Guitar Hero" I bought at my local Target after I heard there was a shortage of them in some parts of the world. Ever the honest soul, I thought I'd lay a little truth and ... http://specialkindofstupid.com/2007/12/21/marketing-101/